WaeWae,

I'm sorry I don't help people that are impaired by alcohol meet women or vice versa. If a girl is drunk I just won't touch her, that's just rules I live by in life that keep me out of trouble. Anyways, I think your plan would work though.

Good Luck,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

JSmooth-

Thanks for doing this, it's really awesome. I have 2 questions:

1. A technical question about the forums: After goto page it lists 1,2,3...54,55,56 as the only ones I can click on. How do I view page, say, 37 in this thread? I can't figure it out to save my life.

2. I noticed that this thread is over a year old. I'd like to know what, if any, major changes have taken place in your online game over the last year. Have you made any new major discoveries? Is there anything that you used to do but no longer do? Anything that you used to not do that you now do?

Thanks in advance.

ItsAlwaysOn,

You are welcome! I know what you mean and its frustrating for some of us that have really long topics like this. Sorry, there is no quick way to jump to a page that I have found. Of course, you can get there by clicking the "Previous, and Next" buttons found below.


Great questions! When this thread was started I had just written the first copy of my Online Dating Blackbook and was still very much into structured game if you will. A lot has changed since then but a lot has stayed the same as well. And yes there is a second revision coming to the book. Not sure when yet but it's on the way.

Some major changes that have taken place since that time with my online game is that I have received more feedback from you guys, not to mention girls I meet online, and learned a lot more. You know experience is the best teacher in my mind. From the experiences you all have shared I've learned a lot.

I can tell you that at first I thought you had to do a lot more to create attraction. To a degree this is actually assumed a bit more than I thought. If she is messaging you back there is a reason for it. Basically we just have to keep it going and be in that mindset, rather than thinking I have to create all this!

1. Prepare (Plan your profile, write your profile, get a game plan)
2. Open (Come up with something witty and clever to say.)
3. Attract/Establish Rapport (Basic Connection building, spice in DHV)
4. Escalate Comfort (Work to escalate her level of comfort with you: email, IM, phone, date.)
5. Setup a Date (Pick a public FUN meeting location)

The basic ideas of getting the girl comfortable with you and building a connection with her have stayed the same. Most of the tips and tricks that work the best for profiles haven't changed much. With the exception that I once thought it was smart to have a lot of pictures with women for a DHV Pre-Selection spike. Not so much! This can cause you to look like a player instead. Also, with pictures that posed professional shots I thought were best but actually it's the random snap shots that are better.

Another big discovery...OKcupid.com. This is one of those little sites I didn't try before but has a great interface, works very well, is FREE, and produces amazing results for me personally.

Anything I used to do but no longer do? Yes, I don't personally work to sexual the conversation in chats anymore or on the phone. I was pulling women online for lays for a while and I had to stop that. That didn't create any relationships and after a while left me feeling not so great.

Anything I didn't do but do now? Not really, most of that I covered with pictures. I can say I update my profile a lot more (headline, pictures, about me.) Simply rewording this and changing out the photos can give a good fresh look! The rest has worked well and been a good foundation I have just grown from what I've previously taught or talked about.

I think that answers most of your questions. There could be other things but they just aren't coming to me at the moment. Hope that gives you an idea.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Jon, you misunderstood my last post. That was a online dialogue. And because we both going to be a bit drunk (no crawling, lol), isnt it ok?

Anyway, THE POINT was to concentrate on the online dialogue, because I just want to know was I too harsh or something?

Waewae,

My apologies for the misunderstanding! I understand the online dialogue and not I don't believe it was too harsh. It look like a pretty normal conversation to me for the most part. The absolutist statement shouldn't be a big deal.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey J,
So I opened an HB9 on facebook and we've been speaking for about a week through the facebook inbox which has added up to a total of about 18 messages. The last two posts were;

ME: Well I dont think I know you well enough to trust you just yet, but maybe I will someday if you play your cards right.

HB9: more like if you play your cards right haha, kidding

I think i have developed somewhat of an attraction through other posts with some subtle negs.

However, the big question is when is it the right time to get her phone number, or set up a day to meet up? Also, how would I go about asking this without sounding weird or like a facebook creeper? Could you give me some examples?

Thanks

SLeven,

It sounds like you have been working well to generate some attraction and being playful based on the short post that you made. If you have sent about 18 messages back and forth I would think you have a good amount of rapport built with this person. Honestly, it'd be easier to ask her out and then get her number than the other. Rather than delaying this further with text or phone conversations.

Something like, "You seem like a good person, and not some online stalker. I'd like to get to know you better face to face. When are you free next? By the way feel free to call or text me at xxx-555-5555."

This takes the pressure off you and puts the ball in her court. She has your number and knows you want to meet. Make or break time! I like using the online stalker thing as a role reversal and it can be fun. Of course, whenever you meet make it a public location for her safety.

If you already know of some things she likes to do then use those to entice her to go out. You can even suggest a day to meet if you want.

Have a good weekend,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thanks for your reply it was really helpfull. Just to be clear, i wanted to make sure that you understood when i said 18 posts, i meant i sent 9 and she sent 9. Actually here is the whole convo. I know you dont want long posts but I think it will only take a minute to read and i want to make sure that i dont set up a date to early and ruin something i think iv done well.

ME: Hey, i dont know you but i requested your facebook friendship because your last name cracks me up. lol (its actually a funny last name)

HB9: i see, well i guess thats a semi-legit reason...haha maybe?

ME: lol. why does your friend in your profile pic look like she hates you?

HB9: no she actually loves me, im living with her this year...so you go to pitt?

ME: Yea. Im gona be a junior. So you go to Pitt and Penn State? (she had 2 networks for both schools) you must be really smart to go to 2 schools.

HB9: ha yeah...i was at penn state for 2 years and then tranferred..it'll be my first semester at pitt this fall

ME: Oh thats cool, youll like pitt. So why'd you tranfer? Finally figured out our school is better? lol

HB9: haha guess so...psu was just not for me, i think i'll like the city. hopefully

ME: So you werent able to fit in with all the other toga wearing party animals up there? you loser

HB9: nah, the cult following of 40,000 toga wearers chased me out...i think im better off though... thanks for calling me a loser, im really feeling the pitt love already

ME: Woh take it easy there. You have to earn the love considering I barely know you. For all I know, you could be some kind of creeper

HB9: haha hey now, you friended me...you're way more likely to be a creeper

ME: Wow your kinda feisty. I can already tell your trouble

HB9: it's not my fault...i spent 2 years at state, you have to expect that lol

ME: Oh man your one of those girls. Hopefully we'll be able to turn you good again and then maybe I can list you as cool in my book.

HB9: hahah no seriously, that's one of the reasons i left...those kids are just too much for me. im not bad i swear

ME: Well I dont think I know you well enough to trust you just yet, but maybe I will someday if you play your cards right.

HB9: more like if you play your cards right haha, kidding

Since my convo was so brief with her, you think i should still go for the date set up? or should i maybe keep the convo rolling a little more? sorry for just not posting this all first, but i really dont want to screw this up. Thanks

PS. As a later note, I think i found out that she lives about 3 hours away from me right now, so i think a date before the school year is out of the question. School starts in a month so should i maybe just continue the convo for a couple more weeks and just be like "we should meet up when school starts" or should i get her number and try to txt till then? any other ideas?

SLeven,

After reading through the conversation I agree now is not a good time for a date. You have some situational rapport with her, and you have teased her a little to generate attraction. She continues to ask questions to further the conversation which you can take as an IOI if you willl for reinitiating the conversation.

You said you don't want to screw this up. Please remember two things. I can understand this better than a lot of people. #1 When you detach from the outcome you will do better. #2 When you screw up is when you learn and get better.

That's a long distance away for dating, and you have a good amount of time to kill between now and then. We need to drag out talking on Facebook some more. We need to get to connect with her more. We need to learn more about her personality and show her some sides of you as well. Then after a bit work to get her phone #, like maybe a week before school.



Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

First Timer here!

I tried using the "You are that crazy fun girl I met on the cruise last year?" opener on facebook with a H9. She replied "`You dont remember the girl's name?? wtf?'"

I'm not sure what to say back, bc isn't forgeting the name of the girl I met on the cruise a DLV?

Help!

Adrock84

Hey Adrock84,

I know you are kind of new to the forum so I'll try to help the best I can. I personally don't do anything really on Facebook. Networking sites weren't designed to really meet people on for dating. Granted there are some methods that work, so I've been told, but I mostly stick to dating sites.

First of all, don't get into the trap of DLV vs DHV. When I first started I was so sensitive to Value Shifts that it was scary. Is this a DHV is that not, etc. It's an easy trap to fall into and it'll damn near drive you crazy. The other thing it does is put you too much into your head during an interaction instead of being in the moment. Trust me you want to break this habit as quickly as possible.

Anyways, it's not a big deal. Don't let her little test get in your way. The opener did its job and she responded you just have to roll with it, and change subjects to get her talking. If it was me I'd say something like,

"Come on its not like you've never forgotten someone's name before? Anyways, you looked familiar and I wanted to see what you were all about, I'm {name}. I tend to hang out with people who only have something interesting going on in their lives. What's something intersting about you?"

This leads it to being a bit more direct but gets you talking quicker than trying to be extra indirect and wasting time when she could have a boyfriend. Before you say that I'm showing interest. YES I am, we messaged her which shows interest, so why not state it as well. Doesn't hurt anything its natural. Then we are asking for them to tell us something about her, this is qualification and compliance testing. Plus this gets her talking.

Hope it helps give you an idea of how to roll with this and then to get you on to talking to her.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hi J, Please I need your generous oppinion on this.
There is this HB who told me she had a BF that I was talking to online and we discovered we both bought tickets for the same party and she was so delighted to want to meet me. We met and she was really impressed and into me and she initiating kino the whole night when his BF is out of sight. she told me blunt she did'nt love the BF and I thought perhap the AFC splashes his wages on her to keep her.

I number close her tho and We still talk on messenger once in a while and she asking for a date to meet. she is physically gorgeous and beautiful, Problem is I find her self-esteem so low cos of the AFC type of BF she hanging out with and her method of trying to gain attention and that has increased my IOD for her, I have run the pre disqualification method to discourage her but she is not taking NO for an answer and I'm not interested in FC her for the fun of it.

My question is, how best should I put her low self-esteem up without coming out too strong or arrogant?

Thanks

Omans02,

Just stop talking to her on the phone and on IM. She'll get the hint. If you are truly not interested in the girl come out and tell her one time that you don't think of her that way. Then stop communication with her.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

J, quick question. What would you say is the maximum distance between you and somebody you meed online that you can reasonably meet over? Obviously this varies case by case but is there any rule of thumb for this? Thanks.

Hey i am still new to this and could use some advice on where to go with this HB10 on POF dating site.

This was my opener email

Me -- You're adorable, so adorable in fact that I've decided im going to adopt you as my new best friend. Don't worry, we'll spend all our time together climbing trees and drinking kool-aid. You can even bring that "dog" of yours your are refering to, hahaha. Actually you seem like a pretty cool person, I'd love to get together sometime and let you cook for me haha. Wait! You're not crazy are you?

HB10 replied with;

Hey im not crazy at all. Thanks for wanting to adopt me, I was looking for someone to take me in lol. I have the cutest dog ever, she'll play on trees too.

My reply to her was;

Me - Hahaha, so you are not crazy point taken, as for your dog she sounds a little crazy. Not sure I want to adopt a crazy dog too. Plus this whole adoption process is grueling because of the prenupt. After a brief view of the prenupt I realize that I get half the money and she gets the house in Hawaii with you. If only Pablo the pool boy wasn't there and I wasn't away that summer night, I am sure things could be different.

Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories... you will always have a special place in my heart.

Jef


P.s. I will be needing the money in advance

Then she replied with;

haha you have quite the imagination. I have the sweetest dog How was your weekend?


THIS IS WHERE I AM LOST AS TO WHERE TO GO FROM HERE;

If there is anything there is any advice you could give to me as to what to say. that would be great. Or what I should stick to talking about. What negs maybe?

I am thinking of saying something like "What's with the interogation?" I didn't know you were in the FBI, Agent "Scully" and add an emoticon to show here that I am being playful.

Thanks in advance,