ok, 1st of all, I am new to the community, have read some stuff and watched some DVDs [acually, alot] ... I haven't made my 1st approach yet, I don't want to say why because those are all just exuses, whatever..

So I went out thursday night to a club with a friend of mine, luckily, the music wasn't to loud, there, I met another friend and a girl I met a few months ago at a party, so we start talking (we were on a couch), gradually, she starts leaning in, touching my leg, with the excuse that she is just resting her hands, I break rapport time after time by disagreeing with her and stopping the conversation leaving a awkward silence, a friend shows her the moon [the club was in some sort of a tent] and as she turns she brushes my leg up and down keeping the hand on it ... we talk some more and she keeps asking me to dance, not being buzzed, i refused [I don't dance well unless I'm buzzed] so I tell her that until the end of the night I will dance with her for a song, nothing more. anyway .. I go to the bathroom and when I come back she asks me again, again, I refuse but she asks me to at least stay with her on the dancefloor so people won't hit on her, so I lean back on something and while talking she keeps touching my chest again and again and again ... of course I am a big pus.sy and don't go for the kiss [this is kind of a sticking point for me, as I only go for the kiss if some liquor gives me the balls] ... I finally try to dance a bit, doing some dancefloor push pull ... I bump into some friends and go to they're table to talk for a bit, and she's looking for me through the whole club to tell me she's leaving and leave me her phone number as I had promised her I'll take her with me the next time I go to a certain club she likes much ... anyway ... that's the end of day 1 .... the next day at about 5 PM a friend of mine asked me to go to his place and play some ping-pong [keep in mind that until the end of the 1st night I was wasted, haven't slept AT ALL, went swimming and tanning in the morning and was completely TIRED] ... so I call her and we meet up and the 2nd day goes horribly .. no kino, no building confort, nothing, exept having fun playing ping pong and some poker ...

I would like to point out that I don't like using canned material, I only use the concepts ... push pull, breaking rapport, building comfort etc... and another thing is that I am from Romania and I don't think people are the same here as they are in the UK USA etc .. people are less sociable, girls have bitch shields like crazy etc...

where am I going with this?

well as I have seen and heard that this girl is touchy with everybody ...

I would like to know some answers ... after that much kino coming from her, should have I gone for the kiss ?
Is it possible that someone would touch your chest only seeing you as a friend?
Is it possible to recover from this ?
Some pointers in not being "LJBFd"

Thank you!

Heya, quite some time ago I got the same type of kino from a girl I was interested in. This meaning touching my chest, leaning towards me, dragging me to her and so on.

This was however some time before I discovered the concept of shit tests as I believe this may be. I mean this in a way that the girl I was talking about told me that she just wanted me as a friend and nothing more, but that she was touchy with everyone.

Now, to get to the point. No one would touch you like that if they weren't comfortable with you, at the same time they wouldn't crave your attention if they weren't attracted, but would just find someone else.

This said, the only means of knowing if she is interested is by trying. However, do it gradually. If you are able to stroke her hair with no resistance from her you can be fairly sure you can move in for a kiss.

And if you can recover from this situation now depends on whether she still talks to you are not. What you need to do then is to use an ice-breaker as Adam Lyons have said then and shoot some spark into the conversation. If you are able to set up a new meeting you are probably able to recover. Just remember that if you don't escalate when she does it will pretty much stale up after a while.

- Exerio

You noticed the IOI's, that's good

When she touched your chest you could and should have touched her back and kissed her.

Pick up your balls and just do it soldier!

OK, well thank you for your replies, both of you are right

Exerio, it's not that I don't know those things is just that for some reason I am afraid to try it ... I am at the beginning of my game and at this point I am trying to calibrate myself as it's not yet part of my "natural game"
I knew that but just wanted to make sure, wich is wrong, I know I have to learn through both failure and success, but people who have seen this 100 times they know exactly what is going to or what is supposed to happen next, for me is just another step into "the unknown" ... slowly I will get there, I feel I have already made huge progress but it's still much to learn or at least apply the things I already know.

I think it's all about beeing "outcome independent" wich is a bit hard for me at this moment...

Anyway, back to the story ... Last night I texted HB .. the convo went like this :

Me:"Hey, what's up? What are you doing ?"

HB:"I'm at the Nightwish concert with some friends, you?"
[5 minutes later]
HB:"If you have nothing else to do come join us. after the concert I'm going back to the hall [student hall] . what are you doing later .. going somewhere?"
[30 minutes later]
Me:"Thanks for the invite but I am at work.. how's the concert?"
[10 minutes later]
HB:"The concert was awesome, take care, talk to you."

So, guess she still wants to see me, can you be more detailed about the ice-breaker thing and the spark ?

Thank you.