i was out in the field today, and this question suddenly occurred to me. if you bust on a girl for something (cocky + funny), like a flaw or something, is that counted as a neg?

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~Luminova~

Luminova,

I am glad you asked because so many guys get in trouble thinking this way. A neg is NOT an insult. A neg is not making fun of someone.

A neg is a back handed compliment that is designed to lower the girl's social value. If you will it's a lightly wrapped insult disquised as a compliment. Like the old "Nice nails!....are they real? Oh well they look good anyways!"

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I think the old nail example and hair color example cause more trouble than they fix, because they are insults. I really think they are bad examples of negs, and I don't have this neg thing down. Every person I've asked, has given me either of these examples, but nothing else. Especially since they are examples that don't come up that often.

busting on a girl should only be during the seduction location..haha bad joke..lol

the cocky funny "busting" on a girl thing is more like teasing which does just about the same thing. i mean if you make her friends laugh and just tease her but dont make her feel like crap, its basically like negging.

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They are used so often because most negs are completely situational and make no sense out of context. They are also rarely repeatable, which is why most guys don't post new ones, they probably wouldn't work in a different situation. It just easier to refer to these old ones, than to try to explain the context of a new one.

The point I was making about the two examples were that they come off as insults especially because you ask, straight forward, "are they real?" I think in the nails example, it would be a proper neg if you said "beautiful nails!, how long did it take to grow them that long?" Same result, she'll say they're fake, but you seem SO much more genuine in not knowing they are fake.

You got to realize that stuff you read in the MM are merely examples of negs. The nail one for example. Its a way of showing you how to use your own stuff.

Nice "insert thing here", is it real? No, its quite "insert thing here" anyway.

It is not an insult, just a question.

An alternative to full negs are the false disqualifications. Just show that you are not that interested, after that you will be able to show interest at a good rate, based on her behaviour. A false disqualifier never hurts anyone, it just keeps the interaction comfortable for both parts.

i got a problem, i tease this girl who i know is really into me, she is quite playfull and takes it well and teases back but sometimes she turns over and says right 10seconds of slience, i replied with right well ur 10 seconds of slience starts when mine finishes..after 20seconds of poking and tickling to try and make the other talk she got stubborn and turned away (playfully) advice what to do in this situation?

thanks in advance

Well since the purpose of a neg is to be socially painful, lightening the sting would defeat the purpose. Of course I'm no authority on negs, I prefer playful teasing and natural game.