I've been with this girl for neatly 3 years, and I've always been completely secure about her having guy friends. She's in a lot of clubs at school and spends time alone working on stuff with them over coffee and crap sometimes, and I never say anything. Early on I even let her have dinner with her ex to "say goodbye."

Totally cool with it. She was always with me at the end of the night.

However, lately I've come to realize that she's systematically cut every single one of my old friends-that-are-girls out of my life.

Why have I allowed this to happen? Well, mostly because I am very very good at picking up on when a girl likes me, and these women all do of course. My gf is good at picking up on this stuff too (part of why I love her), so whenever a girl make ANY sort of flirtatious remark, she and I both know it, and she says that it's disrespectful for me to continue talking to her at that point.

The thing is, guys say teasing things to her all the time. She responds laughingly, not showing that much interest, but she does let them get away with it by laughing and they continue to tease her in the future.

Her response to me calling her out for this is that they are the ones initiating it, whereas if I were to tease some other girl, even as a friend, it would be disrespectful to her.

Part of the problem is that she knows and has read PUA stuff, so we both are well aware of the fact (and she acknowledges this is what attracted her to me) that teasing girls and being C&F builds attraction.

I really like having girls as friends, however, even though I have absolutely no desire to sleep with them. They always try to flirt with me though, which obviously pisses my GF off. Even if I don't respond my GF flips out.

I've heard from multiple sources I trust that having friends of the opposite sex is key to maintaining a healthy relationship though. What should I do to remedy this situation?

1. You should have the EXACT same relationship with other girls as your GF has with other guys. If she has more leeway with guys than you with girls, that's damaging to your Alpha Male status.

2. She may be acting out of insecurity. If it is obvious that you could get with any of these girls at any time, it will make your GF feel pretty bad about herself. How would you feel if you knew your GF could be cheating on you the second she wanted to? I suggest you sit down with her and have a good, long, honest conversation where you listen to her very carefully about why she feels the way she does.

3. During that conversation, make it clear to her that you are interested in only her. Explain your feelings regarding her and other guys. It is possilbe that the girls you are hanging out with are too flirtatious, so be willing to go to the other girls and tell THEM to back off. Make sure you get everything in the open between you and your GF, though- she comes first.

4. Don't let it turn into an argument.

_________________
-The good can never be measured, but the great can never be controlled-

if you don't care then continue going out with her

if you care then talk to her about it

but of course you care, that's why you posted this in the first place =].

you should both agree on essentially everything in a relationship.

_________________
Just my 2 cents.

After three years it can sometimes be a bit too difficult to put up a fight now. She'll think, "Oh my god! U are changing SO much. You never had a problem with this before. Why now?!?!"

So no "me alpha, me run this cave" talk. She has to feel and believe she is getting something out of it. Where you are both mutual

Try something along these lines, but in your own way. Only do this when SHE brings it up. Then pull her to one side and do this:
You see the world through her eyes, and reach a common ground.

It's a way of getting your point across in a smooth way so it doesn't cause any conflict.

Hope it helps.

Sean

_________________
I am a man....Either that or a woman who has really let herself go.

www.modernmanliving.com

What are you doing. wait a second and think about this !!
Very good!! thats how a secure trusting man should be. Let me ask you, would she let you have dinner with your ex. She likes attention and likes to be liked but when it comes to you she has different set of rules.

hahaa... I love it when girls play such games. She is enjoying the attention but is not willing to take the responsibility. what an act..blame it on others.


To Dont take it for granted.
You are really a nice guy and a good boyfriend. But dont let a girl control your life like this. So what you should do is, go out meet girls have friends and tease them whenever you want. Now remember that you GF will get mad at you but I wouldn't get into a logical discussion with her on this. Let her get mad. I'd tell her that they are my friends just the way she has friends. thats it short and sweet.

She might do one of the following:

1) realize and stop flirting with other guys
2) Flirt more with other guys (but you should be non reactive and keep her happy in bed so that she keeps coming back to you)

3) Scream get upset, throw a fit (In which case she is being immature)

Dude, dont let a girl control your friend circle or let her insecurites come in the way of you making friends.

I can say this confidently because one of my GFs was this way ! I basically told her that I'm good with women and she has to deal with it if she wants to stay with me. She verbally showed that she was upset but the sex was good and she and I were together for a long time (long in my books haha...).

This is a common problem with Guys who have multiple relations(not you) often have their girls complaining and wanting the guy exclusively for them. But these guys are open and dont get into a reactive mode when the girl throws a fit. No arguments no logical discussions.

I'm not trying to be overly critical, and I certainly am not judging you, your girlfriend or your relationship...


but coffee and projects with other guys who she's in a "club" with at school?

That's a bit suspect.


If she's reacting so harshly over you trying to keep your female friends (regardless of whether or not they're looking to have sex with you) than it shows she's insecure in the relationship, and possibly even being unfaithful to you.


Blaming you for things you don't do and keeping that as the topic at hand keeps you from being suspicious about her actions.

And if you haven't given her any reason to feel you're being unfaithful to her, why is it such a big concern for her?

I hate to plant the seed, but I've seen things like this before.

She's playing the blame game without directly blaming you.

There are really only two ways this can go: she's very insecure and doesn't trust you, or she's being unfaithful to you and using your wanting female friends argument to mask any suspicion you might have.

Like I said, I dont know you, your girl or your relationship... but there's one word that can sum up the way she's treating your wanting to keep female friends:


Unfair. Just tell her that, plain and simple. It's completely unfair she can have friendly members of the opposite sex and you can not.

Or go buy like 30 pairs of expensive shoes and tell her you started collecting them, and she has to keep her hands off them and her feet out of them.

_________________
"The whole world will step aside for a man who knows where he's going."