C0ldfire,

I actually don't end up in this sitation at all because I don't use myspace or facebook to meet people. I personally don't use networking sites for this reason, I stick to dating sites. Dating sites were designed for people to go on their and meet each other. You already know why she joined the site. People don't join myspace and facebook to meet people for relationships....typically. That is why we incur more intial resistence.

I think that you were right in telling her that she already knows that she doesn't know you. Lying is never a good idea! When you said "do you want to talk to me or not?" is not a good idea. When you give a person a concious choice they are going to naturally take the path of least resistence.... hence NO.

In this situation I might have said back to her. "You and I both know that we don't know each other, but I saw your MySpace thought you were interesting and wanted to see what you're all about."
I can tell that you are very new to the game and that's okay. I don't really have great answers to these questions because again all my experience is geared around dating websites. The best sources for game on Facebook is "Whoopie" who has a thread here in the Online section, and then Action Jackson who has his "Matchbook Method" specifically for MySpace and it works very well.

Whoopie (Facebook)- facebook-methodfield-tested-approved-vt19004.html

Forum Member "Vapor" actually works for Action Jackson and matchbook method so I would search for some of his posts.

I hope that this at least gets you to some good information about where to start with this.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Thank you very much Jon for your input it was a real help to me

i just checked that method u mentioned and i'm gonna try it soon

Btw, i also got a really bad response from the opener i used above lol

its actually the following:
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how the f*** do i know when your screen name is [screen name] and your pic is of a f***** tiger....why the f*** are you botherin dont be steppin up on my page tellin me what to do i think you need to go f*** your self is what i think you need to do!!!!!!
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LOL

What should i reply to that?

i already had a pic of myself but not as a default profile pic, its within the photos album, that's why she might didn't see i guess, or maybe she saw it and she reacts like she didn't to test me or something.

i can be real mean now and come off more stronger at her and end it or i could be cool with it and say something different, i think there is an optimal solution for it i'm sure?

Now i guess you are Completley right Jon, Too Much Resistance from some in social networking websites.

i guess i'll have to give dating sites a shot soon.

do you have a good success rate with those?

and regarding the "Matchbook Method" is it free? or where to buy it if not?

Hey buddy,

First of all to a response that negative you're done there is nothing to respond to. She is already defensive and upset. Move ON! This is not worth the damn effort.

I think matchbook method has a price to it yes! http://www.matchbookmethod.com/ can tell you more about it.

I have a great success rate with online dating sites. In fact I have gotten as many as 9 dates a week, to the point I'm running out of time to go on them.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

J,

I know I have asked you in the past... but what are some other good online dating sites? POF is ok... but it just seems like it is full of attention whores more than anything else.

Thanks for all your help bro.

CK

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success is my only mother fucking option, failure is not.

Alright Jon Bro,

I'll take your advice.

Thank you very much :)

and if you don't mind me to answer CK's question...

CK, try okcupid.com it's free, i just discovered about it last night. seems like a very good and neat site.

Kind Regards,,

Chino,

I tell you there are a lot of sites that I have seen success on. Lately I have really been liking OKCupid because of the interface with all you can do from IM instantly to other things. It has also helped me get some really awesome results.

Some others I've used successfully are:

Singlesnet.com
Match.com
Chemistry.com
Eharmony.com (Don't like the interface but results were ok)
Yahoo Personals
MSN Personals
Lava Life

Hope that helps get you started,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

You're welcome, take it easy!

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey J

So I was talking to this girl online and used the old "That chick in your pic is gorgeous, hook me up" line to which she replied "I don't know, what can you do for me? =)"

What would be the best reply to this?

Clueful,

We set ourselves up for this one with the line we used. This is why I prefer more of a direction approach so I don't have to deal with little tests like this. You asked her to hook you up, she asked what you can do for her. Its microcalibration at work. A favor for a favor neither person wanting to give in. So... we need to change subjects so we don't jump through the hoop.

You have her talking to you, change the subject and keep her talking so that no one looses any face so to speak. I like using stuff like "Oh that reminds me" or "OMG you'll never guess what happened to me today..."

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

what are the best pics to have on your dating profile do you just have pics of purely yourself or with other beautiful women

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some guys women fall for me I make women lose their blance slightly

So I replied to her and her reply back was "You're hooked up then my friend"

What would be the best thing to say now? I was thinking perhaps asking her "So what does a beautiful girl like yourself like to do on a Friday night at 7pm?".. to initiate a date..

What would you recommend be the best route to take?

Wolf101,

Good afternoon, I have wrote about this topic several times on this thread so you may want to glance back to get some more ideas but I'll still answer your question about this. The first idea I want to get across to you is remember that women just want a normal guy. They don't want superman, superpimp, or whatever, just a normal guy for the most part.

Now with that being said your pictures should be a blend. Some with your guy friends, some with your cute girl friends, and maybe some of you alone. In the pictures you are going to want to be active! Also, the pictures should backup whatever you say in your profile so that you are congruent.

Women look for red flags when talking to guys to make sure they aren't creppy or weird right. They have to in order to make sure you're normal and safe. If they see something not congruent they think you are lying on your profile, which a lot of people do. This can be very bad, and have her never talking to us again.

What I mean by that is if you say you like to skydive, have pictures of you skydiving! If you like to play pool then have pictures of you playing pool. I think you get the idea here. On my profile I have pictures of me with my guy friends, some girls, playing pool, shooting, swimming, etc.

When in doubt some photos are better than none! Take your digital camera out with you when you are doing stuff. Don't have one? Borrow one! Use your cell phone to take the pics, anything! Profiles with pictures get 5 times more responses than those that do not! INTERNET FACT. So you want to have pictures and the more the merrier!

Just a moment ago I talked about have a blend of stuff. One thing I was called out on once was I had a lot of pictures of me in the bars/clubs with my friends and women. They thought that was all I liked to do. Be concious of what is in the picture and going on in the background. Your profile is your first impression to someone, and pictures say a lot of words. Be cautious of what you might untintentionally be telling someone.

As far as having women in your pictures YES. But also have pictures of you and your guy friends too. Sure having pictures with women give you some DHV spike of pre-selection and it lets her know your safe that sort of thing. GREAT! But if you have pictures with a bunch of women (again I made this mistake) she thinks you're a player and won't talk to you. SO, have pictures of you with men and women to show you have healthy relationships with both. Again, showing we're just a normal guy....with some greatness about us!

A final quick thought on pictures is to update them regularly. Make sure to add new photos that you take as you go and rotate out the old ones. Ideally you don't want a picture of 6 months old. Starting out maybe over a year old. Past that throw it out because too much has changed since then.

Hope this helps you out some,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Clueful,

I advised you to ignore that comment and change topics immediately. You ignored my advise which is your right to do. You are always free to make your own decisions for whats best for you. Anyways, I'm over that now, you want to pull an AFC comment like "So what does a beautiful girl like yourself..."

Okay let's have a heart to heart, right here, right now. First of all, you need two elements to get a date. Attraction and Comfort. PERIOD. She has to be attracted to you and she has to be comfortable enough talking to you to meet some strange person from online. I think you'd agree to that.

Let's assume (Making and "ass" out of "u' and "me") that you have attraction built or that she saw your profile and likes you so much! She thinks your cute and wants to hang with you, let's ASSUME that for just a moment. She still will say NO to your advance for a date. Why? No Comfort has been established.

She doesn't know anything about you at the moment. She doesn't know if you're a crazed killer from the Internet or a sweet guy that she wants to be in a relationship with. How do I know this? You haven't had time to build a good dialogue back and forth between the two of you for her to be comfortable enough to do meet you somewhere. Assuming she's attracted to you. This process of talking to her can sometimes take just a day or so, and sometimes weeks depending on how fast the messages flow back and forth.

Then of course we have Attraction that we need. Sometimes this just happens for us, and sometimes we have to build it with DHV embedded comments in our conversations via email, IM, text, or on the phone. I would work on just getting her talking to you before I got her on IM, and before I got her phone #, let alone a date. If she won't give you a # you won't be able to get a date easily.

Let's not put the CART before the HORSE asking for a date so soon. We are going to get rejected just because it's easier for her to say NO. Than go meet some guy from the Internet she knows nothing about to sit on a date in awkward silence trying to make conversation. She's been on dates like that before, she knows what they are like and wants to avoid them.

I'm sorry to go on like this but I want to get my point across. So again, my advise to you is to get her talking to you like a normal human being having a good conversation while you subtly build in reasons why she should be attracted to you. After SEVERAL communications back and forth try for her number before you worry about the date. This is not the fastest process, so try to be patient.

Hope this helps,

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Very, very helpful. Seeing things a lot more clearly now.

Thanks a lot.

Unsure of what to do here....

This isnt your usual online pickup, infact I wasnt even trying at all. I am an avid gamer aka im addicted to world of warcraft, about 2 months ago, by means of a mutual friend I met this girl while playing. At first I wasnt really interested or even trying to get her attention, it was just another day, she was just another player. We had been doing an organized group for a dungeon (aka a raid) and over a few weeks we started talking, she seemed to have taken to me alot. As time went by, things became more serious (as far as internet dating goes) we would spent long times on a Voice over IP program called ventrilo (internet equivalent to talking on the phone), just talking with each other, exchanging stories ect. I had mentioned that I was going to a gaming convention down in california in august and she decided she wanted to come as well, even if she couldnt get a ticket. eventually she even bought a webcam and had some webcam chats with me, several of which got sexual.

at that point I knew it was on, it was pretty obvious she was into me, and in our long talks she was always very positive and interested in me. Now recently she had stopped being as receptive and she had stopped coming into Ventrilo to talk with me (before she would actively check to see if I logged on, vs recently I had to go find her). I was a bit concerned and i tried asking her about it and she wasnt saying much. Then today she came to talk to me and said that she really liked me but she couldnt put herself through the long distance relationship thing again (she had previously had a Boyfriend/Fiance who she broke up with due to his drug abuse that she was doing the Long distance thing with). She kept explaining about how she liked me alot, and it wasnt that she didnt want to have a relationship with me, its just that she couldnt handle another long distance deal.

I dont know what to do now, We are still going to meet up in august down in california, and I am pretty sure that we will end up having sex unless she decides that she doesnt wanna get emotionally attached for fear of where it might lead (as I said she still says shes very attracted to me). But how do I handle this situation? I like her alot, and I know she likes me. Is there an easier way to deal with this? or would it be best for both of us to break it off if she isnt willing to do a long distance relationship?