I do not pretend when I have this mentality or you are just lieing to yourself and your jealous will be read easily.
It depends on your Alpha Male mind set really if you are confident in yourself and you know that you truely have something meaningful with your girlfriend you shouldn't care if she wants to go to a Nazi march with Adolfs great grand son if she enjoys Nazi Marches!

Are you telling me you would not let your girl go (if you have one or playing single scene) with an ex or someone you dislike or do not know to something she enjoys at the expense of you not feeling comfortable!

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"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

The point I am getting with guys is every girlfriend is going to command attention from guys unless she is disfigured or has hygeine problems. I can guarentee your girlfriend gets hit on at least once day up to double digits (I am sorry but if you believe otherwise you are being naive). Through showing that you believe in the trust of your relationship to your partner and not locking her up everytime an ex, male friend etc wants to hang out with her is going to make your relationship stronger.

If you constantly getting in the way, not letting her go out with her friends in fear of guys (maybe PUAs) trying to get your girl then your relationship will be short lived and possibly your future ones.

I know you guys mention respect, but how can you get her to respect you when you cannot show her a little bit of respect!

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"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

I don't think it is about locking her up, because I agree...that won't turn out well. I have been in relationships where guys were insecure about me hanging out with other guys and they actually voiced their disapproval of me hanging out with them (which did not make me happy). But this situations is different in my opinion. This is her ex of 4 years, and they are obviously still close because they hang out a couple times a week. When there is that kind of history involved, it is possible that their bond will be ignited again...after all, it couldn't have been a messy breakup if they are still close friends. So maybe they broke up because of some external factor. If they remain close, they could get back together when the tides change in their favor, leaving this poor guy out to dry.

If this was just some random guy, he should have faith that she wouldn't cheat or lead the guy on. But this is a guy that she has A LOT of history with, a guy that clearly has a special place in her life. You can't tell her who to be friends with, but it is borderline inappropriate to have this type of ex hanging around in her everyday life, especially when she is in a relationship.

Why now are you concerned?!

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"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

I'm pretty sure you should break up with your GF if you find out she's a Nazi.

Call me old-fashioned.

I Don't know what to do really. She is at the concert right now as I'm typing this. I saw her off with the guy. I'm more fit, more attractive, taller, richer, nicer, and smarter than this guy. But it's still hard for me. Their was third person going, one of this dudes friends, which makes me feel better. If something did get re ignited, well fuck, I won't be the only one hurt. I mentioned to her initially when she asked me that he should have come to me and asked permission and she freaked out on me. I wrote it off later becasue we had the conversation when we were drinking. However she said she understands that I feel weird about the whole thing. I think after this I'm going start being a little more assertive about the subject. limiting her interactions with him, and if she has a problem with that I'm going to tell her that if she wants to be with me she needs to leave her past relationship behind us and its okay to see him but not to so often.

the worst possible thing happened last night at the concert. I need help dealing with my own feelings. No one cheated (to my knowledge) But this guy showed my girl friend one of the best times she has had in a very long time. I'm enomously jealous, hurt, humbled, and have lost my confidence. I feel one uped. My girlfriend called me from the concert and told me she missed me, but I still feel like a loser. Some chump showed a better time than I have. I don't even want to see her, I just want to fucking pummel this punk. Those of you who said that penning it up is the worst possible thing were right, I'm ready to XXplode. I need advice.

buffs,

calm down and put things into perspective. keep the lines of communication open and don't do anything drastic. the situation sounds bad, though i don't think it is as bad and you are making it out to be. your emotions are probably altering your perception and that is understandable.

the important thing for you to understand is that you can recover from this. you just need to work at it. to fix this issue, i think you need to work on yourself and building more attraction (and respect) from her. upload some dhv spikes! in a relationship this doesn't mean telling a dhv story, or doing a magic trick. this means BEING the guy that girls want. work on yourself little by little to reassure her that you are the guy she wants to be with. being taller, better looking, more moneys, etc. only accounds for a small percentage of female to male attraction. educate yourself on this. there are plenty of resources here at the forum. you have an opportunity to turn this whole thing around.


workaholic,

you can't apply all cold approach PUA tactics to long term and or loving relationships. it doesn't work, and it can really fuck shit up. I hope you don't find out the hard way like some other people around here.

Their relationship more than anything is eating away at me. Sexcellent I understand what your saying and I can do that. But I think she sees this guy entirely too much and I don't know how to tell her, I have attempted this conversation before and it will create a very bumpy ride, shouldn't this guy be out of the picture since she is with me platonic relationship or not?