Okay pretty much this girl I kinda like is what you would call a "tough girl" she has a "i dont give a fuck" attitude but we are close friends, anyways. Sometimes when we txt or message eachother on MSN she gives me the worst attitude ever and just treats me like crap sometimes but its because she knows I'll take it because I am a nice person by nature and words don't mean anything to me, I have been reading over the forum posts lately and I realized what I am doing is WRONG. Can anyone give me advice of how to man up again and not take shit from her unless its acceptable in a way? Examples of somethings that would be said when shes talking with me is like "your so gay" "stfu" "if you don't do (this) we wont be friends anymore" like its dumb things like that that I can think of nothing to say without pissing her off. It's like anything I say to defend myself just gets kicked in the nuts and I end up getting more shit. but we are very close friends so I don't get why she does this to me sometimes not always. Any advice on what to do when shes in bitch-mode should I just pretend like not to care and say something like "k" or talk back like IM STUCK

In my opinion you are in the dreaded LJBF (Let's just be friends) zone. It's a horrible place to be. You are coming across as needy and she is clearly in charge. When she treats you like crap she probably does so because she knows you are gonna take it, and it's a form of shit testing you as well. Frankly put, you are her bitch at this point in time.

Don't waste your time. Have some self-respect and walk away. Cut off any contact with her, no matter how much you care about her. If she tries to get in touch with you, throw in a few DHV (Demonstrations of Higher Value) by telling her that you don't have time, that you are busy and so on.

She is no longer important to you. Let her know that with your actions.

Next time she tells you "if you don't do (this) we won't be friends anymore", tell her "Then we won't be friends anymore. You take care.". Then disappear.

A few things may happen:

- She doesn't really care about you. You walk away and that's it. Focus on new girls. There are more than six billion people in this world.
- As soon as she sees that you are willing to walk away, she may realize that she is losing out and change her tune. If she approaches you with romantic intent later on, be alpha male and don't revert back to being her bitch. You can't count on this point, but it may happen.
- You don't hear from her for several months. During this time you will work hard on becoming a better pick up artist. You'll be able to start almost from scratch when you see her again 6 months down the line, and she'll notice that you've changed. Then YOU will be in charge and decide if it's worth seducing her or not.

This is just my opinion, based on everything I have read on the subject and a bit of experience from my early days. But I'm not a PUA or anything.

Can someone more experienced comment on my advice?

ya true, but there is no way I can keep in touch but just ignore her kinda to prove I don't really care if shes there or not? Because cutting off ALL contact would be kinda hard wit her, we talk everyday, see eachother often during this summer break and we got classes together when school starts lol.

If you are forced to see her, that's ok. If she says "hi, how are you?", reply. But just try to avoid hanging out with her and above all don't take her shit. If she is rude, put her in her place. You can also try to hit on a different girl in your classes, or make new friends that are not in her circle of friends. The basic idea is to avoid perpetrating the "we are best friends" thing, and avoiding putting her at the center of attention.

It sounds like you need to show active disinterest. Ignoring her is passive disinterest.

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Ya I think I'll try what you both are saying, A mixture of meeting new people and flirting with different girls and kinda ignoring her in a passive way except when she talks to me directly. 90% of the time I'm not even the one to strike up a conversation with her she usually always messages me first so should I ignore the first message once in awhile or just respond like you said?

Oh ya another quick thing, When you said "put her in her place" how would you go about doing that depending on what she says like if shes calling me "gay" or something or just saying something negative about me what would you do I have no idea how to put people in their place because I am naturally a nice person.

Does she call you "gay" to mean "homosexual" or to mean "lame"?

Well when she says it its usually in a playful kinda but not meaning that I am homosexual, Is that acceptable to not say back to something when she says that though? and for other things that are kinda of negative how should I go about shutting her down instantly like I have no clue.

If she says it in a playful manner, you could simply say (relaxed, cool, smiling): "What makes you think that?". At this point you make her justify her neg. Depending on what she says back, you can decide to shut her down or crack a joke.
It really depends on the context, what is she saying, and the way she does it. You don't want to offend her too much but you have to show self-respect and some disinterest in her. If she is pushing it too far, shut her down.

Examples:

Her: if you don't do (this) we wont be friends anymore.
You: Great. I'll hang out with my other friends who aren't as opportunistic as you.

Her: STFU
You: Does you lack of class ever bug you?

Her: You are so stupid!!!!111eleven
You: The pot is calling the kettle black

Keep in mind that her comebacks could get pretty childish, especially if she is immature. But you need to be able to walk away from the deal.

oh true, well just now I kinda showed disinterest I think over MSN she messaged me first since we havent seen eachother for a few days but anyways, we start talking but eventually shes like "stfu" or doing little hearts and say NOT at the end and then the 2nd time she said "stfu" I was like "you first." shes like k peace. NOW normally I would say I was just bein a dick for fun you know that. but instead I said "kk" and just stopped responding so I am pretty sure shes noticed I have disinterest in her as far as she knows but at the same time this is the first time I actually stood up for myself against a woman so I kinda feel bad in a little way but I kinda feel good too if that makes any sense lol. So do you think what I just did was the right thing to do for a start to let her know im not taking shit and let her message/call me first? or should I apologize?

My guess is that she is very young. 19 or so? The fact that she teases you could be her way of showing interest without being too direct about it (eg. when she does the <3<3 NOT).

You took the right, first step. Do NOT apologize. You have nothing to apologize for.

Actually, why don't you try to reverse the table, and tease her? Next time you are having a nice conversation with her, try a playful neg to see her reaction. Then try more kino. You need to show her, that you are in charge of the show.

shes younger actually, my age though. but ya I am glad to hear I took the first right step towards this change if you would. So I am going to be seeing her in person again when we go to the movies next week. Now I wouldn't know what to tease her about without her going all bitch-mode and just pooping on me. So should I kinda make fun of her shoes or something and use a bit of kino to imply I am playing with her? Like how would you go from here? and Should I wait for her to txt/call me first or do I go after her if she doesn't say anything after like 2days max lets say?

Thought so.
Don't let her. You have to try to be in charge. Lead the conversation. You want to build up tension/chemistry by being cocky and funny.
Use something like: "Nice shoes. Did you buy them new?". Don't over do it, but try to tease her a little. Kino and body language are fine. The most important thing is that you never say things like "oh I'm sorry" or "oh I was just kidding" when you see her "oh you are so mean" reaction.
I would try to have fun. Be funny, crack jokes, smile and have a "don't give a fuck" attitude. Show confidence and demonstrate that you are there to have fun, not hitting on her. So far she has seen you as a beta male and needy. Now you need to change your persona to be alpha, funny, strong, have composure, and be independent.
This is important. DO NOT CHASE HER. From now on, you make her chase you. No text messages or calls. Let her reach for you. You don't need her, she has to need you. Then when you go out together, lead the conversation.

Good luck.

awesome ill try all these things this up comming friday. any more tips/advice for me? anyone is welcome to give some input. One more thing, since I have to be the dominant one when we go, should I always be infront of her kinda forcing her to follow me or should I be side by side so its neutral kind of?