since 2005, i've gone through a fair amount of depression from job outsourcing and family illnesses. as a result, i lost all interest in exercise and went from 200 lbs to 255 lbs (i'm 6'1" and turning 47 in a few weeks). i'm now working out with a trainer and have a long way to go. it's been a long time since i've put any real effort towards meeting women.

confidence-wise, i feel pretty unattractive with this weight. it's hard to envision picking up some hot thing with the extra pounds on me...or thinking anyone would find me attractive. mostly because i know how i used to look, and can look again. it eats away at self-esteem, confidence, etc. i've never really had the balls to approach many women in the thinner days, this just adds to it.

on the other hand, i'm quick-witted, smart, funny, and sarcastic...so i do have things going for me. i do need to get past approach anxiety, of course.

these days, my thoughts go from not wanting to make the effort...except for the times when i see someone hot and younger...and then i want to get her naked for days at a time....right now i just want drama-free fun, sexual or otherwise, but mostly sexual...with someone younger...20's.

any suggestions on how to get myself going? bootcamps aren't in the budget, but i have read the pua book(title escapes me).

love the forums...regards, atlmike...atlanta,ga

and heres what youve been waiting for: advice from an 18 year old

we seem to have little in common except for recovering from some kind of depression (and being "quick-witted, smart, funny, sarcastic" and unfortunately also having approach anxiety) but i think i have something to share anyway.

1. watch kung fu panda. i know what youre thinking, but you wont regret it, its great. and the main protagonist is fat (not saying youre fat ) and throughout the plot he develops self confidence (without even losing the weight). seriously, its very very motivating.

2. you have humor? then use your flaw(s) as comedy material! instead of serious thoughts about it, imagine funny situations that involve being ridiculously overweight. my dad is your age and when hes having a good day hes often joking about his recent weight gain. there needs to be no bitterness because of it, especially since its something you can lose and are already working on doing so.

its all gonna work out, and you are too

and forget about the books (did you mean "the game"?) and spend that time and money in having fun and doing what ever the hell you want to, what did you do in happier times? if something comes to mind immediately you might be missing that now.
i sound a little pushy, sorry.



p.s. ive started out as a keyboard jockey on this site like most people, and honestly what valuable experience can you have at 18, but what i wrote in this post has worked for me so far.

punk ass kid!

just kidding. 18 or not, what you say has a ton of value and i really appreciate it. it's funny because i talked to my brother last night and he essentially said the same thing. you get one chance to live and i've let things dictate mine for far too long.

thanks again and continued success to you...M