About six months ago, I had put up a PlentyOfFish profile that essentially screamed "nice guy". Uploaded some of my best pics, etc. I would occasionally do a search, email some ladies and usually not get a response back, I would occasionally get an email from someone who wasn't very attractive, etc. Sounds like the pretty typical POF experience for guys, right? LOL. Other than that, I really hadn't done much with POF...I was spending my sarging time face-to-face.

I got to thinking that there's some benefits to POF and online sarging...a supply of candidates that you probably won't meet out somewhere, for instance. I don't want any lady to miss the opportunity to meet me, her life might never be the same. LOL.

I had been getting and reading David DeAngelo's newsletters for quite a while now...his approach is the cocky/funny approach to it all. His approach fits me quite well since I have fairly quick wit and a good sense of humor. So, I sat down over the weekend, threw away my old profile, and re-did it as cocky/funny. I kept the exact same pictures and other info.

Wow...what a difference this has made. I've emailed probably 10 HB8+'s so far, 6-7 of them have responded, and I'm having ongoing conversations with 3-4 of them. Plus, so far, two cute women from other regions have emailed me to say "Nice profile". I think I'm on to something good here. I can definitely say throwing on the cocky funny is making a huge difference (and it's easy for me because I usually have those cocky funny thoughts, but don't always say them...now I'm just saying them.) Essentially, I just took how I really feel, think, and want, and stated it in a cocky/funny way. Which is great...it's very genuine for me, and I feel authentic about it! In fact, I'd almost say that I've written almost the same thing I had before, but it has the cocky/funny spin to it rather than the "oh, I'm such a nice guy" spin, if that makes sense. At least I'm congruent in what I want, eh? LOL

My headline says "Don't Read This!", then the first few lines in my profile:

Do you always follow instructions this well? LOL. Don't read unless you can handle a man with a strong multi-faceted personality. I'm a little bit rock star, faux psychologist, philosopher, comedian, all rolled up in one. Throw in a good helping of mischief, and blend well in a hot-tub.

*** Ladies, thanks for all the emails. If I don't respond today, don't be offended. I'll reply even if I don't think we'd jive. It's called "manners". ***

I'm going to list what I don't want rather than what I want. If you're bright enough to figure it out, email me.

A few of the funnier lines in my "don't want" list (DO NOT copy my exact words, I will hunt you down and clip your nuts, LOL...spin your own...these are genuine for ME...if you do anything similar, make it genuine for YOU...women pick up on how genuine or congruent you are!):


- If you have no idea why you do what you do, and your therapist has to sort out why your life is such a mess, we won't jive. By now, you should know how to avoid repeating the same mistakes and bad choices.

- I expect someone as attractive as I am. However, if your bra size exceeds your IQ, we won't jive. Sorry, I'm not impressed by looks alone, if that's all you've got, we probably won't hit if off. Street smarts and a kind heart go a long way.

- No, I'm not looking for a one-night stand (although they do happen, a guy who says they don't is either lying or inept, which do you want?). No, I'm not looking for a new wife (although I suppose it could happen). There's happy middle-ground between those two extremes, whether casual or committed. And no, just because I'm attractive doesn't automatically make me a player. If you're a hottie, does that automatically make you a slut?

- If you're peddling your web-cam site, don't bother. Why would I web-cam with you when I can have the real thing? If you want bootie-pay, get a job at the Men's Club.

- I grew up around mostly women, I'll treat you with respect. If you can't do the same, we won't get along. I can be sensitive when necessary, but I'm not a punching bag. I'll roll up my sleeves and carry you when needed, but I won't repeatedly rescue you from self-created crises. I'll surprise you with chocolate when you're PMS'ing, but if you go off on me for no reason I'll eat the chocolate myself.

- Age doesn't matter to me, emotional maturity does. If drama follows you around, contact a talent agency.

- Relationships are not fairy tales, I'm not prince charming, and you're not a princess. It takes work from two. If you don't get it, we won't jive. I can bring fantasy to life (can you?), but we have to re-visit reality occasionally. I can sweep you off your feet, but you'll have to knock my socks off. If you don't think you can get me barefoot, you probably can't.

- If you can't keep up with me on a dance floor, I won't be impressed. Being able to "find each other's rhythm" is important for quite a few things.

- If you're a high-maintenance Barbie, we won't connect well. However, if you can go from tom-boy to decked-out hottie, I'll think you're quite sexy

- I don't control nor manipulate, but rest assured I will influence you. (I'll lead you into some mischief and you'll like it.) If you are a control freak, we won't get along. Go find an insecure spineless wuss to lick your boots, there are plenty to choose from. If you thrive by playing manipulative games, guess what? I recognize them immediately and they don't work on me.

That's about 1/3 or 1/4 of the bullets. Women are eating this up! And the good news for me is that it's all true...I just wrote exactly how I actually feel in a very cocky/funny way. It's conguent, authentic, and geniune. It also screams balance and fairness, caring disposition but no tolerance for bullshit, etc. I may tweak it a little, but this profile actually "feels good" to me...and apparently it "feels good" to the POF ladies too!

Cheers!
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

I love it! Good post. I think we can all learn a bit from this for online profiles. I certainly feel mine is a little flat after that!!

I especially like how you ask for equality and cut through a lot of 'fluff'. Good time saver

But only 1/3 1/4 of it?- that's a lot of demands!! I don't know if some might get put off the 'high maint.' aspects of it, or at least it's a good way to weed those types out!

Well, it is a lot of demands...but they're all reasonable expectations, ya know? We're told over and over that women like a challenge...here is one. LOL. I wanted to scare away the psychos who email me...I seem to have scared away the psychos AND attracted the HB's...I'll take that! Big score for being REAL here.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

I think that is the best profile I have seen here.

I thought mine was pretty cool, have even had girls tell me it was the most original that they'd seen.

Yours rules. I'm gonna mix some of yours into mine - I laughed out loud about you eating the chocolate yourself.

Hey man...
I have recently been on the forums after a lay off from the online game.

I wanted to get my night game sorted and flowing, i actually am about to appear in a tv show here in the uk. Crazy times lol!

After my lay of and reading up through things i noticed your commitment and loved you style. Yur genuine but at the same time pricise!
Its awesome, i would really love to get some advise off you in the future and if you know of any good online method such as the mystry method for night game that would be awesome!

Yours Kris...
From rainy england lol

Hey dudes...here's my whole profile: http://www.plentyoffish.com/member10201139.htm

I've read the Mystery Method, and I got a lot of insight from Mystery's explanations of how and why. However, the process itself just didn't feel authentic to me (for instance, I can't see approaching a table of girls with a story about a non-existent girl fight, etc....I can't deliver that with authenticity because I don't feel authentic about it). I think DeAngelo's cocky/funny is a much better fit for me...it feels more authentic, and I've been somewhat cocky/funny already during periods of my life (just never was consciously targeting it). I also really like AFCAdam's style too, but need to put some more study into that. Anyway, DeAngelo apparently formulated his style originally from online sarging, so I'd say put some study into that...it sure seems well adapted, and executing CF online is great practice for doing the same in person...online, you get the chance to think abbout or formulate a CF response...after you've done it enough times, it'll start to just come naturally in person.

I almost decided to just leave out the line about one night stands, but said WTH, I wrote exactly what I thought on everything else, why not this too? The reality is that I'm not looking for one-night stands (would rather have a casual relationship with a few women, or a committed relationship with someone I really dig), but then I won't turn down a one-night stand with some hottie who falls in my lap either. I think I actually got that across in the profile. And it's genuine...that's how I feel about it, might as well say so, ya know?

I'm still being pleasantly surprised at how women are eating this up! I got this note from a reasonably cute woman in another state (I give pretty good relationship advice, so I'm participating in the POF forums a bit, and that's where she stumbled across my profile):

I was just cruising thru the forums and caught one you were posting in and just had to write and say....Bravo to you! I love your profile and I understand every portion of it. I wish you luck finding someone who reads that and nods and laughs as much as I did with the absolute wonder of the combination of your commication skills and the total self-assurance you have in writing just how you feel. I came close on one site "I am not your mother, maid or your cruise director, I will not be sitting watching you watch TV if you feel these qualities are necessary please click the back button now", not very eloquent but to the point and..........not one man contacted me. I laugh to this day! Anyway, I only am contacting you to give you a standing ovation and know that when you do find a companion she will be JUST what you are looking for.....I mean after all what's the point if you don't "jive" on most points and you cannot be just who you are? Life is supposed to be fun, have some!

Cheers,
Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

lol web cam slut hah totally was on of them on plentyoffish

LOL...well, not knockin' web-camming...but I was sincere in my statement. Most of these girls make a few bucks a day web-cammin'...they could take half their clothes off at one of the nicer local strip bars, give a few lap dances, and come home with $500/night. I know which I'd do if I were a cute chick! LOL.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

I'll eat the chocolate myself!

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I never really "grew up" ....I just learned how to act in public.