Hey Guys,

I am in the field for a time now (month), My sticking point is the comfort zone. If i am in a club I really feel I am the alpha mae. Last night I went out and talked to about 13 sets of girls all with the do you think I am gay opener, haha. Now, I kiss closed two of them. Actually, one of the girls saw me kissin the other. She said she wouldn;t kiss me, but I said: I know you like me and want to kiss me, It is your loss not mine. Then she said: Yeah that is actually through and I spitted here on the face and then she kissed me :S. Now I didnt do the spit i just kissed here, i couldnt believe it myself.

Now you all think, what the f*** are you complaining about. Well, I JUST CANT GET IN THE COMFORT ZONE... I do the approach, give a couple of negs, but it just seems i cant get the conversation going for about 15 minutes... So my question is: Is that neccesary? Or do you guys know some ultra good topics to talk about..

I am gettin better and better.. I had AA at first, now I am approaching 13 sets a night, so this is getting better. I am 'runnin' the club with my wing as I talk to 5 sets and even engage another 3 set in the conversation.. But Give me some advice... Thanxx! I really appreciate!![[/img]

honestly, I been in to pick up for about two months now, I don't even bother with DHV stories. I've gone from MM to JM. I just know that I'm high value and that translates to the woman. If you really want help in comfort, I feel you could benefit from JM. It's all about vibing. You can really talk about any topic you want, you just have to honestly be interested in it. Women choose what they find interesting guy to guy, and if you are passionate about it, they find it interesting. I've had two hour conversations explaining why I love physics and calculus, the the women are interested the whole time.

I've seen guys like you flying around the club, a couple of times. It's a rare talent to get that much stuff going.

And you all have problem getting into the comfort zone, and I can see why.

In fact I've started to become that guy, and I made the same mistake, so I know it's true.

Here's why;

What's your plan, what message are you sending? Every one of your interactions is being watched by every other girl. They have fun with you but the picture you create is that there's no one special girl - they're all the same to you. As a result - they will indulge and have a lot of fun with you, but they won't trust you beyond that.

We are in a very specific situation. Most guys will be talking to a handful of girls and none of them will see his interactions with the others. But when you have the whole party / club paying you attention, the plan changes. This is a very powerful situation to be in, but requires a specific approach.

At the right time, you finally choose your target. It's her that you sit down with and REALLY get to know - start conversation that talks about her hopes and dreams, become interested in that, praise her great ideas and make her feel good for wanting what she wants. She will love to feel good about things she like, and you instigating that conversation will tie that emotion to you. Well you can take other conversation skews that make her feel good on a fundamental level but that's the basic idea. It's her number you will be getting, and it's her you will be following up with. She will feel pretty darn special that after all that cavorting, you chose HER to mellow out with. Not only that, but all the other girls watching will feel SOOOO fucking jealous that they were not the one that you chose to show that side to, and it's possible you may even get some genuine attention from them due to that.

I'm not gonna say it's impossible to have that happen for more than one girl that night, maybe you can manage to attract others that way to a lesser extent.

Myself, I can usually make some sort of decision on just 1 girl per night.


It's quality over quantity. You can get heaps of numbers and not much return calls, or one really good one






Two recent examples I observed;

One dude did a great job really getting himself known and all the girls were always laughing and very impressed and entertained. When he finally picked a girl (my friend... haha), he stayed with her, and he used some different techniques (eg. things like "Oh that's it, we're getting divorced, I'm not talking to you anymore!" etc. jokes like that) but he never ever every really got to know her. Toward the end of the night he made a half hearted attempt to feel her up, but I could see in his eyes he was timid about it and not sure how to progress things from there. She had a lot of fun with him and then at the end of the night - QUICKLY made her escape (with me). His solemn behaviour at that point indicated he was pretty used to this outcome.

Another dude was doing a great job at holding a conversation with 2 hot girls - well I would rather call it a "game", not a conversation, it was one of those routines - who has the best Dad story, or something like that. Again, they seemed to be sufficiently "entertained" (but as I've said, there's more to it than that). Then he made his mistake. He motioned to my friend (another one, different night), probably the hottest girl in the club (she's totally in a good LTR though, not available ) and specifically motioned for HER to come over. She did, always up for a fun time, meeting new people, and within a few minutes of her joining the group, even though everyone was laughing and having a good time, the alpha of the other two girls stood up and said they had to go, and her more submissive friend followed that and started to say her goodbyes. They gave him a quick goodbye, and then they gave my hot friend a very sincere, girl-to-girl goodbye, which had loads more genuniness about it than the goodbye they gave the guy - and it was obvious to him - the forlorn way he was looking up at them during the exchange. With no one else around but that guy, my hot friend came back to our group (at which point she told me what they were talking about). He sat there totally shattered, playing with his mobile like he was texting someone.
His mistake? For starters he was entertaining the girls but not yet getting to know them - not so bad, he just hadn't progressed yet. But by singling out the hottest girl in our group and adding "another hot girl" to his conversation, it instantly became obvious he was just trying to "talk to as many hot girls at once". The two girls he started with got this vibe at that moment and decided they didn't want to be a part of it. And it was easy for them to leave because he never moved on from the entertainment stage, so they had no personal emotional reason to hang around.

Thank you for this very good comment! I now see things a bit better. Yeahh, i basically use many negs, i am affraid if I am trying to talk about what she wants to become later, she will get bored in the conversation. My primary goal is the approach now and keep the conversation going for 5 minutes.. So i have allready much succes with that, though i had many Approach anxiety in the begin.

The positive about approaching many girls is I make them laugh all the time with my gay opener > I feel allmost all the girls and boys are watcing me and my wingfriend.. I see them look at me all the time.. But yes, i see the point you are making... It is maybe obvious We try to make conversation with to many girls..
Because I want to talk to as much girls as possible. I think I should change this in: Talk to at least 3 sets with increased comfort every set..?


Actually, Do you know some good questions to become in the comfort zone?
But Is it OKE to keep talking to many sets? But then with more comfort or something?? I am also a beginner, so don;t get me wrong

Very MAny thanxx from Holland,

Club game is the hardest! When your tongue is down several girls throats in the same club comfort zone let alone getting others in the same club to talk to you is shooting yourself in the foot.(remember girls look around seeing where the action/alpha males are just like AFC's!).

_________________
"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

To me, that sounds like your sticking point.

When someone asks you about what you do for a living, what you like, etc. etc. how do you feel? Good! All people love talking about themselves. And when a person gets you doing that, you associate that good feeling with them.

You have to practice being more empathetic, and then the questions should flow naturally. What would YOU want to be asked?

The usual thing I ask is, what do you do during the day. Then I try to find out if they like their job or not. Eg. "What's that like?" if they love their job, then I try to take an interest in the subject matter, and even relate back some of it to my own experiences. If I get the feeling they don't like their job much, I probe a bit with a few test questions just to make sure, eg. "Is this gonna be your career, you think?" etc. and when it's pretty clear, eg. they blatantly say it's boring or whatever, that's when I pull the "what would be your dream job?" and I say it with a smile, a bit like I'm asking them to play pretend, I guess what I'm really saying with that smile is "Let's talk about FUN things!" I had one girl recently respond that her ideal job would be shopping for people, hahah...

Almost best answer of the day on this forum!

Girls would talk about themselves all the time, and will never shut up about the smallest bit of gossip e.g. I brought shoes today guess what colour..... BUT MAKE SURE THAT YOU ALSO CONTRIBUTE AND TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT, SHE CAN LISTEN TO HER GIRLS IF SHE WANTS AN EMOTIONAL/GOSSIP TAMPON. I have seen friends say less than prisoners of war say to their captors before, and just end up nodding and smiling like they are perched on a dildo.

_________________
"That's how you become great, man. Hang your balls out there!"--Copy store clerk (Jerry Maguire)

Thanks! Yeah relating and adding your own points to the conversation is a good point too. I had one line about it in my previous post but it's very much worth emphasising. It's a chance to start showing how interesting you are. If what they're saying reminds you of a cool story, then attempt to go into it at the right time. In the past I think that I've managed to interject my own stories about 75% of the time, the rest of the time it seemed best to let the conversation flow and not force my story into it, because it didn't seem like the right time.

Allright guys, thank you for the comments.
Yeah, i think that could be a sticky point for me indeed.. I think I must create A good follow up, for what i do in daily life and all these things.. I am currently reading the art of natural game by Gambler. It is very good..

I approached a couple of sets during day-game with the do i look gay. I really saw they react different. The more 'negative'reactions I received, the more sort of frustrated I became (low energy). This had a huge influence on my game. I dont know i you guys had anything like this. I mean. In all these PUA books they say you must reframe your thoughts. Like this: What does rejection mean. Is it really rejection, with the purpose of less caring if you get rejected. Well, I have done this exercise dozen times, but I still get a bit frustrared when I see they arent responding very well. I mean, also after the openers I find it very hard to transit.
So, what did you do to really overcome the anxiety of being rejected. Maybe I take it to personal. I was on my good way, but now i feel like I am getting down again. I know this is a part of the progress. But What did really work for you guys.

Thanxx

You ask what it takes to overcome the anxiety of being rejected? Well you can look at it another way. David DeAngelo said in in advanced series that it's not really about overcoming it rather then still acting while it's still there. Don't wait until it's completely gone but learn to act while it's still there. The comparaison to live comedians has been made many times. They will still be nervous before coming on stage after their 1258 th performance. But they expect it and they know how to act with it. Some even look forward to this feeling with excitement.

This links in something I've read (and liked) from one of the personal coaches that posts on this site (sorry can't remember your handle!). He said: don't talk about anxiety, talk about excitement. Change that mental association of this feeling you have of " Anxiety of being rejected " to " Excitement about meeting new people". Change the label and it will change how it affects you.

Hope this makes sense!

(Btw, I talk big, but I still have AA myself... just haven't been out there myself enough. I know the theory, but still need that kick in the @ss to make the approaches. So grats on opening 13 sets a night! I truly respect that)

Thanks for the comment TheJ!
Yeah, now i think about that it even now makes me more 'excited'. I think you might be right about that, now i imagine those situations again i did great, I wasn't labeling these sensations that i felt through my body in terms of anxiety but in terms of excitement. In the beginning I percepted it as anxiety but the more sets i approached it became the label 'Excitement". So this is good to remark.

So, now i see things a little bit more clear. If the sets in MY OPINIOn didn;t go well, the label turned more negative, and if they went good, the label became in excitement. So, this might be the problem. I think it might be the locust of control. My mood in gaming depends on my perception of how good the conversation went. Automatically, when some sets in the beginning allready went shit, it affected my mood and the quality of my further gaming . There must be some kind of NLP-tool to instantly change the mood you are in. I am figuring this out.

Tonight is my next field game. I am taking these tips you are giving me in my advantage. First, i don't game all the girls, but i choose one target and try to become in the target zone. Second i am going to label these sensations in excitement. I definately let you guys now how it went in terms of my perceoption and some objective stuff so it doesn;t sound to much coloured by my opinion.


Cheers from Holland,

Allright as tires as I am now, I am going to report my field report last night.

I went out with a good woman friend (very cute, and many desperate guys try to impress her and making out with her... (not succeed)). So i allready had some social proof... I was wearing a bright Green deep v-neck Shirt With a nice leather necklace. And a big watct and some rings around my fingers. Very peacocking

So, I di'dn;t sarge many girls in the beginning, because of this friend. But when she was making out with a guy, I felt it was my time ... First I saw a 4 set of 4 beautiful girls (hb 8's and one hb7 ). Earlier in the evening I saw guys trying to hit on her, bu wathcinh her and whistling in her ear, very Low-value and chump-style.. So this I could use in my advantage.. I approached them like this.. I walked by and turned my face towards them: "Hey, quick question, Do i look gay with this shirt (I was wearing A peacockshirt so It was a very legimate opener ).
`No, definately not, you look great´ (ME): Oke, because check this out: Today i have been slappen on my ass 3 times allready by three different man, so This is why I am asking, I really need the advice of a woman.' (HB's) No, you dont look gay. (ME) oke, thanks I needed to knwo...

This is the part where I stumbled a lil bit because I didn't know a good follow-up. But I went through with this after a little (awkward) pause.

So, where do you guys know each other from? (HB's) Yeah from school.
(ME) Ok, You can see you are best friends (pointing to the 2 hottest) They looked at each other with this funny facial expression. (I hooked them again) (ME) Yeah, because of this.. (HB) Whatt .. (ME) Yeah, you are looking at each other with the same facial expressions.. They laughed and looked at each other like I just said something dr. phil High value indeed.
(ME) So, girls, who of you guys get hits on the most...
(HB) Yeah, blah blah
(ME) Oke, yeah I was waondering, because I am doing a poll with my friend, what is the worst openings line. Because I see you get hit on by many guys, so I thought I can ask you guys..
(HB) Yeahh, well like dont I know you from somethin haha..
(ME) oke, yeah I definately can imagine... Because I think it is better (just doing some investigation what is a best way to open hehe ) to do not approach like this. I allways open with the gay opener haha
(HB) laughed very hard, yeah it is very originaall!
(ME) Oke, what do you want to become if you are big, dont say princess HA-HA (like it was an obvious smooth line, but I sais it in this funny tone)
(HB) laughed, well I want to become a model.
(ME) Oke, great You want to become a handmodel..
(HB) Nooooooooo
(ME) Oke, you study with your friends. (boring conversation damnnn why)
(SHE) Yeah, indeed)

At this point I felt great, because I approached therse hot girls and was having a conversation for allready 5 min. This was my goal for tonight.

(ME) Oke, you know this is where the conversation is getting boring you know, (I dont know why I said that, but I just had shit about it)

(HB) lookin a bit confused. Didn't know how to react. And I saw the group lost really a bit interest. But I surely noticed some of them were attracted to me, because of the look in htere eyes, they were leaning on to me, and playing with their hair and lauging.

(ME) Allright guys: thanks for the conversation I wish you a good night
(HB) Yeah! You too.

So, my sticking points according to me are: Built a little less comfort, had to do more kino and transition to the K-close or something. You guys can make thing a little more clear what went wrong??

So, this post I getting a little long so I am posting the reports of the resting sets a little later, because I am tired now and going to sleep.. Looking forward to your commentss,

Thanksss

Hey Seb, nice job! I'm pretty new to this stuff myself but I'd say you need some DHV stories or you could throw in a few more opinion openers. Then you could have tried isolating your target (easier said than done) but keep up the good work.

Hey, yes indeed. thanks for the comment. Isolate is a very important thing I missed in this set. This is my personal next field assignment .. Do you guys have some tips when is the time to isolate and what is the best way to say it. I think I am just going to try, this is the best way, because when i am in the field the wire changes. "Can I borrow your friend' or something will be good. First off all i think I have to tell some DHV-stories..

Above all, Maybe you are facing this lil sticking point yourself to, it is you asking all the questions doing all these attraction building stuff, but they don't really ask questions off my background, how old I am etc.. Maybe it is the not-comfort zone?

Oke. The next thing I am considering doing also is this. If I really want to become excellent in PUA and maybe even become a PUA myself haha, i am going to set some goals now. I am 20 years old now and I am really considering moving in a house together with another friend and go sargin 4 days a week. This will be next year... I dont want to be a wannabe I really want to be the best.

I had another set last night, it was a 2 set (hb 8,5) + (hb 7,5).. A blonde and a brunette... I said: do I look gay with this shirt (again aha:P), She said no no! She was touching my body (I am very muscular and have muscular mantits, this is kind of attractive I guess and hope ) and touching my necklace.. Oke I said, I am doing a poll with my friends, I am finding out what girls of you are attracted in guys. they say looks are very important but I think it is very bullshit. What is your opinion about it.... Oke, yeah looks matter a bit, but the eyes, posture and is confidence are most important i guess (She said).
Oke, haha, yeah i totally agree with you... You guys are best friends arent ya,
(HB) Yeah, we are! (ME) Yeah, you have the same facial expressions when you look at eachother. The laughed...
Oke, nOW i need your advice! As you can read, these are stacking routines and it works very well to become in a1, a2 (mystery method) How do I transit to the next level NOW. I think kino will be very well and a short test if she fits me and walk her around the club (social proof + kino) and then negging she doesnt, but Am i than not again sticking in A, if I keep negging her... I am just going to find out, I dont care.. Because only by trial and error I will become very good at this. Along with you guys

They walked away after 5 min, but I really had built some attraction, but I learned attraction is a state, it can change ini an awkward pause or somehting, so I think at this point I have to DHV really really!...

I am going to italy (rimini) in a few weeks for holiday 10 days, I go sarging there every night haha.. Maybe some of you guys are going there to and we can meet and go gaming together..

I keep you guys informed about my field reportss

Jason

Very nice. Well done.

Yeah, you seem to have no problem making it past the hook point (A1). Are you getting IOIs from them (A2)? If yes then it's time to isolate and then qualify her (A3).

The only 'textbook' things I see missing is the false time constrain and the negs to your target.

Cheers!