oaight, so here's the deal. this girl i'm with has a dominant personality. i need to know what to say when she 1. makes complaints (i.e. you need to gain weight (my BMI is normal, i just look slim), my recreational drug use, and other blah blah blah), 2. starts to act dominant, things of that nature. i need help with ideas on negging, my negging seems to come off too strong to some girls, seeing as how when they get that 'hurt' voice, or say 'gee, thanks', i have no idea what to say afterwards so it comes off as an actual insult.

i also need help on story telling, i can't tell a story to save my life, everyone has stories, i just can't seem to put them into words, let alone tell them in an interesting fashion. i know i have a long way to go, but is there anything else you guys suggest i work on to up my game? the help is appreciated,



-Dr. Nice

bump for the quest of knowledge and advice.

I don't hold recreational drug use against anyone, but I don't directly encourage it either, so I can't tell you what to say when she brings that up.

Negging is really mis-interpreted. Don't set out to "neg"! set out to be funny, in a "pay-out" way. You know how to do it with your male friends - you wouldn't go "durrr!" if one of your mates screwed up something really important to him, but you would go "durr!" if he tried to open a simple door and hit himself in the head. It's no different with girls - you have to feel your way through. Depending on the girl, and the situation, she may need something a little more cutting or a little more soft. Harshest one I've ever done was a girl who appeared cute, but turned out to be a bit of a snob and started trying to qualify me - I saw it as a test, and took on an attitude of "Geez kid, you don't scare me" and it came across in my voice - I took an opportunity in the conversation to indirectly pay her out for being too cute, and she reacted positively to this, in an "aw shucks, I guess so..." way - guys don't usually dare do that to her, so it came off well. Most times it's not that harsh, once a very in-demand girl I was out with complimented me on my shirt. I shot back "Thanks! Don't know about yours, it's full of holes..." (her shirt was made of some sort of netting) and she laughed and said "Oh well, I am poor after all!" and punched me on the shoulder.


Anyway your main issue right now is you are giving your power to her by feeling like you HAVE to respond to her little criticisms. Once you let go of the idea that her opinions on the matter hold any water, then the right response, or the choice to not even respond at all, will come naturally.

Remember, girls try to find out the real you, by putting you under pressure. They need assurance that you can be strong for them if anything goes wrong. Girls need protecting.

just be deaf, blind and mute for as long as you can and for as long as it's ok. the way to approach the situation really depends on the girl. some like reason, some don't. some take your positive response as a sign of respect. some use it to exert more control. figure out which is your girlfriend and act according to your instinct. one thing is for sure though. there's no winning over girls.

I think you meant "There's no winning an argument with logic alone, with girls." You can provide the soundest argument in the universe, and if you've made some critical emotional error, such as making her feel cornered, or not first appealing to her current state of mind, she will never agree with what you have to say, even to the point of blatantly going around in circles as if she never heard what you said.

On the flip side, you can have half baked reasoning, and if you make her feel good about what you have to say, she will buy into it. If she feels you have her best interests at heart, she will just trust you.

1. Souds to me that the girl loves you and is therefore critical about health issues. This is very normal. If you were my girlfriend and I'd see you grow skinny and smoke pot and stuff... I would kick you out. If you were my girlfriend and I loved you, I'd say things to try and change your behaviour...

2. Negging is useful in the process of pick-up. I don't see why it is useful in a relationship. Make agreements on "alone time" so you won't be in each other comfort zone and arguing all the time.

3. Storytelling needs practice. Try and practice in a mirror and give a summary of your day before you go to bed. Do it in a fashion like David Letterman gives a little introducttion before a guest comes on stage. Or try any good comedian.

GOod luck

I'm good at stories.

Really all I do is go back in time and re-experience the situation as I tell it. The better I do that, the better I tell the story and even come up with other funny observations about it that I didn't before.

The less I get into it, the less interested people are to listen, no matter what it's about.

Why don't you try telling a story to all of us and we can chip in our 2 cents. As far as writing you can try using capital letters at the beginning of a sentence and checking our some websites on punctuation for learning how to use periods and commas. Maybe if you can figure out how to write your story you would have some tangible material to use when you actually need to talk about it.

i need help with ideas on negging, my negging seems to come off too strong to some girls, seeing as how when they get that 'hurt' voice, or say 'gee, thanks', i have no idea what to say afterwards

Don't buy into the 'hurt' voice. If you are negging because she was acting like a snot, she deserved it.

I've heard the 'gee thanks' comment before, my response is always 'you're welcome'.

Women are used to being the dominant one in a relationship. If you are o.k. with that then play the nice guy role. If you want the lead (which i hope is the case), then stand your ground and show some back bone.

_________________
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. - Robert Greene