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The problem at the moment is flowing the conversation, i know you advise to be pateint. However there are some school of thoughts that long term messeging back and forth is pointless??
Does progress need to keep going, is a particular method that can be places into the internet game. For instance attraction, pre selection, qualifying...ect???
Thanks J smooth.
I not a kiss ass but if i was i might kiss yours lol
I bend over for no man! LOL!
Hey Reactionz,
I think that messaging back and forth over a long period of time is pointless! For online game you have to forget about all that wait to message her don't look needy stuff.
Our only goal is to message her and get her from email to in front of us as fast as possible. The longer you wait the more difficult this becomes.
If you are familiar with Mystery's M3 Model then you are taugh to seperate attraction and comfort phases. Well, what I typically do is blend them. I am just talking to her like you would building normal comfort and rapport. However, when I see opportunities I spice in the DHV spikes subtly.
If you were a girl you might see a message from me like this:
That is really cool how you are working to be a nurse. See me I could never do that because it requires a lot of patience with people. That says a lot about your personality though for your desire to help others. I am the same way with my family there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. If there is a call during the middle of the night from my sisters I'm there, I'm sure you know what I mean....
You can see how I'm establishing rapport with this fictional girl but at the same time inserting the protector of loved ones spike. I just insert the DHV spikes I can as I go throughout the process of talking to her.
Now if you are on a dating site like Match, PlentyoFish, OkCupid, etc. Then you can assume there is some attraction there or they wouldn't be speaking to you. They joined the site for a reason, and that was to meet people to date. With networking sites like Facebook or MySpace you can't make that assumption though, since the sites weren't created for the purpose of finding matches to date or be in a relationship with.
Anyways, getting back to the issue at hand. I have a blend of comfort/rapport building while spicing in things like teasing, DHV, qualifcation, and other little odds and ends to build attraction. I DON'T USE NEGS ONLINE! I know a lot of people disagree with me on this point but the thing is they are often misunderstood and taken as insults because they can't see the non-verbal of it.
Since 60% of what you say is conveyed in your body language and 30% of what you say is conveyed in your tone, verbal pace, inflection, and other stuff that means 10% using words isn't very reliable. So you have to be careful with negs hence I don't use them and just tease or whatever else.
I think you get what I'm trying to say. Going back to my rule of moving her from email to in person as fast as possible. As you have no doubtly noticed there is kind of a flow sometimes when you are sending messages back and forth. To break the flow could signal to her you don't like what she said, you aren't that interested, or a 100 other things. While you have it going escalate from email, to IM, to her number or a date as quick as rapport is built.
Remember, people online just want normal people to date and be in relationships with that stand out. Normal person but a great personality type of thing. We just have to show that we are normal by building rapport and spice in some attraction and the rest should come pretty easy.
Sorry about the long response but I hope that answers everything.
Jon
CHAT