Hello people,

I think I have just realised that I have a tendency to get rapidly caught up in a girls frame and have a hard time getting out.

Any advice on turning it around in a budding "relationship". I put the quotes there because I have been seeing a Belgian girl (I'll put a link to my post here) a few times and I'm very uncertain where I stand with her...Am I just a person she meets to enjoy a few activities? Am I a friend? or possibility more regarding long term?

I am trying to purge my Beta male qualities but feel a bit weird going straight to Alpha Male.

As an example with this girl I had met her the other week and we had a relaxed time playing games in a bar and she seemed more relaxed and open. I asked her to do the same the following week and got rejected. I decided through gritted teeth not to chase again and lo and behold she mailed me and we arranged a meeting for Saturday. She suggested 2 things to do and I said I'd like to do one of them see a parade and have a drink(It was between a choice of see what a local parade was like or the cinema) I didn't want the cinema as it has dopey "date" associations.

Yeah you guessed where this is going. On the day she txts me saying that it will hard for driving in the city because of the parade and suggested going to the cinema instead. Like an AFC I agreed, in retrospect I should have stuck to the original plan and said she could go to the cinema on her own.Or tried to have reframe it more subtly.

We meet at the cinema then went for a quick drink nearby. A bit of fluff chit chat then I just throw in a random question about her mother as she hadn't mentioned her in any conversation. She got a bit pissed off by that. it must be a very sensitive area for her. I didn't apologise. We walked to the cinema and I said the film had better be good! We went in and had the bit where you're sitting waiting for the ads and we talked a little bit. I mention personality/character tests re job interviews and start a little story on a previous job interview having taken a test and having to deal with a pyscho boss from hell. She laughed when I mentioned that. I asked her about tests and she started to clam up. She then started saying that things were private and we had met just 4 times.I didn't push. We watched the film and she seemed to enjoy it.I thought it was child-ish humour and not that great. During the film and ads I made a few deliberately asshole comments saying things were cheesy when anything romantic cropped up.
The film finished and we had a little chat and I try to get her to commit to meeting early on Friday and play pool before going onto a regular games club where I had originally met her. No go. Some lame excuse was thrown up. We said we'd see each other at this games club and then did the normal kisses-on-the-cheeks thing.

Any idea to re-frame this one? Or should I accept that if it is going remotely anywhere that it will be s---l---o---w. I think she has severe trust issues and is a control freak. I know I have to keep options open with other girls and need to keep this girl on the backburner IF I can stay interested enough. The only thing I can think of doing is the next time we meet outside the games club is to be totally cold with her, no kisses on cheek intros or endings, don't ask questions...let her work on me and see if shes does and what she does. In short let her chase if she's keen.