Here is the issue I am experiencing. My gf of several months has a male that is her best friend of several years. He is a player type- has some game but nothing special. He has liked her before and she has liked him more then friends in the near past. When we had issues 2-3 weeks ago where it was almost broken off this male friend kissed her, not just a peck but make out. He hates me because I am a threat to him, and I hate him for disrespecting me and my relationship. He is always in the back of my mind a threat to things going perfectly. I am in a messed up situation because I don't want her answering his texts, or calls, or obviosuly hanging out with this guy since he kissed her and they had feelings. I don't feel this is over-reacting and it is disrespectful to me. I told her he messed up and isn't her friend because he kissed her while she was dating me. She says thats unfair, and gets defensive about it, she is a very caring girl and it is hard for her to let anyone go. How can I effectively get rid of this guy?

get a close girl "friend" and mirror your "girlfriends" actions so it's easier for her to see what's she's doing to you.

do it naturally though. don't let her catch on that you're trying to get back at her or get even. just be like, "i'm going out to lunch with lily" "what's the big deal? you have guy friends"

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i've been in this situation a few times. with the most recent GF i just don't care. the more i pay attention to it, the more power it has over me and over her. plus the guy that's claiming to be her friend or w/e is an AFC. eventually what happened was he came onto her while we were on a break and she dropped the friendship without me having to do anything.

that's the best case scenario^

what can possibly happen, that you DO NOT want, is you get jealous. you make a big deal about it. bring it up to her several times and she gets resentful. she may feel that you are trying to control her.

[what will happen is]
she feels resentful bc ur trying to control her. she'll distance herself from you. she'll run and tell the guy and he'll comfort her. also, she will lie to you about going to see him bc she knows it makes you upset. this is VERY BAD. having that secret and sneakiness between those two is very bad. eventually, if the dude plays it right, she will cheat on u.


act like it doesn't bother you, even if it does. it's very tricky. especially bc i don't know your GF's personality.

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another situation i had a few years ago with a very flirty GF. she would flirt with everyone. i think she just liked the male attention or male validation or w/e. it used to drive me crazy. she had mostly male friends. i'd get insanely jealous and eventually drove her away. in the long term it was probably the best thing to ever happen to me. i learned alot about myself and the girl was not a keeper. i was just a sprung AFC, plus the sex was awesome. it kept me hanging on long after i should have let it go.

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How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and then I'll ask her if we Fucked. How about that? Would that be money?

Hmmm I think in this situation she needs to know that you're not ok with her being friends with this guy. Don't get angry at her, but just tell her that it's not ok with you because this guy has feelings for her and they kissed and shit. Any normal person would feel the same in this situation and she needs to realise that.

In my opinion, this one isn't salvageable. You're already upset about her kissing the guy, and even if you get past this, it will just become skeletons in the closet. Later on you'll probably have arguments with added anger because the thought of her kissing him will resurface. It's not worth progressing into this kind of relationship as things will only go downhill, I've made this mistake before. Think deeply, and rationally, using your logic and reason. Is it worth your time being with this girl or will you look back in the future and wish you broke it off earlier?

Either way, the kissing her friend thing planted a bad seed. If I was in your position I'd end it in good terms and be friends (or not, whatever you feel like doing). Trust me, there are so many girls out there that are worth working on and worth your time. And they dont have asshole male friends, that gave your girlfriend a kiss in the lips - long one or not.

I agree with most of the responses. Just one thing though. The jealousy tactics mentioned will be null because, as mentioned, you will never get past this. You also need to realize that it wasn't just the guy that disrespected your relationship; she kissed him back.


I would just drop her man....I mean ofc i would like to get violent with the guy for disrespecting me like that, but the girl isn't worth catching a charge. Just drop her and wash your hands of the situation.

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This isn't just about picking up girls; it's about building a life!

i agree with rest of the guys, that's some really good advice.

i was in this same situation. and like ellinaris said, you can't salvage this. you need to dump her now and save yourself the trouble. the longer you hold on the harder and more painful it will be to break up later. it's just a downward spiral from here. and i know, i've been there. you can be friends with her after you dump her, just take a break for a few weeks. you were disrespected in the relationship. best thing you can do is GO FTOW