Hey, I'm interested to see if you guys can identify what's wrong with me. Currently, I always enter each and every event pumped, social, and positive. I normally end up being the centre of attention and looking all alpha. However, after I this phase I always switch into a different phase where I'm tired, low energy, bored and sometimes I don't even feel like socializing.

This is weird because I look at my little brother who is a year younger then me, he is constantly in a positive state and happy and positive. I don't get it. Why can't I maintain this positive state?

I've come to a conclusion and that may be because I don't see results after all the high energy efforts. I am always full of energy but maintaining this state is exhausting.

Any ideas or advice?

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Why is the Rhum gone?!

It sounds to me, that your not actually "living" out of your state... its just an act and not a core belief...

and your actual state at the core is option two Spend some time, and see why you drop to this state... do some soul searching and figure out the WHY

are you not having fun? if so why not... If its not fun, then make it fun... enjoy your life and enjoy what you have to offer.

you go talk to girls because its fun, and you enjoy sharing your life experiances with them.

look at your life like a currency that you spend with others... and your a fucking millionare with so much LIFE to share you just cant get it out fast enouph...

If you can believe that at your CORE.. then you wont have this flip flopping problem.


Now that being said... its pretty common that the first set is often the best... because our amped up, ready to go.. and just high on life...
but make sure your walking away at the end of the night happy you went out.

JMT,
Lucky

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I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

dont wanna scare you but it could be bipolar disorder or atleast a tendency in that direction. (wikipedia that shit but dont make assumptions quickly)

"pumped, social, and positive" on purpose? do you consciously choose to be like that or is that just the way you are in that moment and later when youre depressed you wonder why everything changed and you cant go back?

"maintaining this state is exhausting" could be important here: if its bipolar/any other physical problem then it cant be changed completely by simple reframing/thinking effort. can you really actively "maintain" your good state or are you just trying because you wont accept that you cant?

and maybe your pua habits confuse you (i dont know about your game but many puas go over the top with framing and self motivation, basically lies in general).
for example i used to be a mental wreck when i tried to fix my negative self perceptions by recalling memorized affirmations (=lies) whenever i felt like i was missing something.

quick help that cant harm you even if it isnt what you need:
-meditate
-having fun, not taking things serious
-the truth, be honest, especially to yourself

Actually Rhum, I think what you're describing is perfectly normal.

I'm about to get psychological on you! Carl Jung did a lot research on social psychology - The MBTI developed by Myers/Briggs is a "personality test", I guess you could call it, that's widely used in business based on the theories of Carl Jung, including the study of introversion and extroversion.

Introversion has a certain stigma attached to it. Introversion is NOT shyness, or a lack of social intellegence or confidence.

The best way I think I've heard them described is as follows:
Introversion = Reflection oriented
Extroversion = Action oriented
As people, we all do both... we "act" and we "reflect", however we generally feel more comfortable doing one or the other. An introvert is more comfortable "reflecting", where "action" is going to be an energy drain.

What you've described above sounds like a trait charactaristic of introversion. While you're perfectly capable of being the center of attention, it's probably somewhat of an energy drain and therefore you probably need some time out to recharge. Conversly, your younger brother is probably a natural extrovert - he's probably energized by that type of social interaction.

I think what you need to focus on though is the fact that you have the ability to be the center of attention... to be the "alpha". Just because you may not always FEEL like it doesn't mean that you don't have the ability. I think a large part of inner game is just being yourself - acting how you genuinely are. Wanting to always be the center of attention sounds like it may be an inner game issue. (I'm not accusing you of feeling this way - I'm just throwing that out there.) You don't always need to be the center... especially when you don't feel like it.

The views expressed here are mine and do not reflect the official opinion of my employer or the organization through which the Internet was accessed.

It could, but there would be no way of telling that from a couple of lines written on a forum. Even good psychologists frequently misdiagnose bi-polar disorder for other illnesses. So I wouldn't go around suggesting serious neurological illnesses to people you haven't met.

And as for you Rhum. What I think you're experiencing is a shift in the dynamic of the group. You're feeding off the energy of the group and when someone else becomes the center of attention, you lose your emotional energy. This is very common when you have 2 Alpha Males in the same group, both vying for power. When one loses, he will often feel weaker, even physically weaker and tired (at least in my experience). Is it at all possible that one of your friends is causing you to feel weaker, even in a subtle way.

Dr. Paul Dobransky did a great seminar about emotional energy in David DeAngelo's Inner Game series. You might want to take a look at it. It goes really in depth about this subject.

Hey man I can resonate with your problem. Im pretty much like that also.
I get to a party and if Im feeling the vibe Im all over the place. Im very energetic, fun, playful and I can meet a lot of people.
And than I get into my quiet place, and dont want to even talk to nobody. I just want to relax.
Im a natural introvert but I learned how to be extravert. I dont think there is a problem with this. I just accepted it as a cycle. I just gather my energy and than I go out and spend it.

But dr. paul also in the program with david d. talked about energy levels. I remember he was talking about personal boundaries. Once I got my personal boundaries handled I noticed that the downfalls are much more mild than before.

Thats a cycle but I maybe have a solution. I`ve cut the difference between being up and being down with a constant purpose that Im striving to. So I used that in this way.

When Im up, I use that to test my ideas, to make as many mistakes as I can, approach a lot of people, and a lot of action to everything.
Then, when I am down, I use that to writte what happened, how I reacted, how I could do it better, making new strategy for future actions, and really trying to find the lesson that I got while I was out. Than I writte every lesson and I use it next time.

Works for me.

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