ONLINE DATING QUESTION ~ ASK J SMOOTH!!!



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 6:59 pm 
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Jon,

What's a sure fire way (or atleast mostly fire) to get a response on Myspace/Facebook. I've tried the PIG, and it worked wonders once, but the rest of the times, I didn't even get a response. What do you think I should do? I'm out of town for the summer, with no real way to get around, and I'm using Myspace for once.. I'm usually pretty good with meeting 'em in real life though. Lol.

Thanks!
Joshua


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 8:59 pm 
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Jon,

What's a sure fire way (or atleast mostly fire) to get a response on Myspace/Facebook. I've tried the PIG, and it worked wonders once, but the rest of the times, I didn't even get a response. What do you think I should do? I'm out of town for the summer, with no real way to get around, and I'm using Myspace for once.. I'm usually pretty good with meeting 'em in real life though. Lol.

Thanks!
Joshua
Joshua,

You might want to talk to someone like Whoopie for Facebook or consider checking into the Matchbook Method for MySpace. I have to be honest I almost never do anything on networking websites because I am very successful with dating websites. This is not an area that I excel at, and I'd hate to give you some bad information.

Jon

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:03 am 
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yea its me again girl number one is fine now im chatting with her

but girl number 2 i wanna know if i played it right and if the is something i should be doing now

after she was like my friend wanted to get something before we went out i then changed the subject to camp and she was like what camp i reminded her

then she said

her:OHH okay okay.. sorry- yeah. haha that's a coincidence... should've said hellooo.

me: Well Maybe i would have if you and your friends weren't so intimidating when i looked at you you guys were all like whatchu lookin at mofo :p

her: Hahah we don't mean to look that mean!

me: lol no don't apologize its my fault ...... i shouldn't have been in your gangs territory in the 1st place :P

but don't worry next time i run into your gang i'll be sure to strike up an awkward conversation about hamburgers

her: sounds like a plan

so is there anything i could have done or did i play it wrong and is there anything i should do now is the conversation over


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 3:09 pm 
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Quote:
yea its me again girl number one is fine now im chatting with her

but girl number 2 i wanna know if i played it right and if the is something i should be doing now

after she was like my friend wanted to get something before we went out i then changed the subject to camp and she was like what camp i reminded her

then she said

her:OHH okay okay.. sorry- yeah. haha that's a coincidence... should've said hellooo.

me: Well Maybe i would have if you and your friends weren't so intimidating when i looked at you you guys were all like whatchu lookin at mofo :p

her: Hahah we don't mean to look that mean!

me: lol no don't apologize its my fault ...... i shouldn't have been in your gangs territory in the 1st place :P

but don't worry next time i run into your gang i'll be sure to strike up an awkward conversation about hamburgers

her: sounds like a plan

so is there anything i could have done or did i play it wrong and is there anything i should do now is the conversation over
"The,"

I have no idea regarding the subject you are talking about with this because this is obviously a part of something you two experienced at some point in time. I don't know that I would have brought up the fact that they basically were mean to you. Typically I try to elicit more positive emotions when I can, I would have changed the subject again.

Jon

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:54 pm 
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so this one has not messaged me want to know where it could've gone wrong

ME- whoa whoa, your profile seems to go at 200mph, aside from a challenge, do you know how to relax? In kinesiology there is emphasis on resting and recovery for better performance.


HER - this is very true, and yes I can relax, but i just need to do a lot that day to make myself want to relax, I need to feel as though Ive earned my rest.
How about yourself?
EMs


ME - oh yeah, i agree about earning your rest, part of the reason i got into trades.

My names XXXXXX by the way, nice to meet you.


HER-- (her name), likewise, what trades did you fall into?


ME - i'm in refrigeration, dealing with cold and listening to engineers whining how the cold is making them "shrink".

I dont know if you know, but in stanley park, the other week there was a crapload of streakers running around the park, I just hope i dont see this when i'm up the grouse grind. What is going on with this city?

(That story actually happened and wanted to share as i thought it was funny, but who knows.)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 6:32 pm 
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Gustave,

You really haven't done anything wrong it sounds like you two were having a normal conversation. I am not sure why she didn't respond. Truthfully, there are hundreds of reasons. Just send her a follow up message. I say something like, "Hey I haven't heard from you in a while, did you fall off the edge of the earth? LOL."

Jon

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2009 11:40 pm 
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the first exchange of messages were all in the same day within minutes of one another, i had to do something urgently and by the end i went to bed because of work early next day. I responded my last message the following day.


I did put a following message with an invite.

i said, "Hey xxxxxx me and my buddies are heading over to teh grouse grind, why dont you come along with us, i have to keep moving after getting the news on michael jackson"


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 2:39 am 
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Quote:
I'm trying to get this girl from match dot com..she looks pretty hot..not the hottest and had a pretty down-to-earth profile.

I told the hot target to tell me 3 things besides her looks that would make me want to know her better via an online personal as STYLE (Neil Strauss) has suggested.

She has replied back with this:

"Better yet why don't you give me three reasons why I should take the time to tell you about myself.

Morgan"


I have no idea what to do when they throw this back in my face. Any suggestions or experience in this area would be greatly appreciated, fellow PUA.

I posted this also at: building attraction & comfort sub-forum (please look there)
Some forum guys have suggested some things but I guess you'd be the ONLINE GURU...I would appreciate any help. =)
what would a sarcastic dick say?


1 I'm willing to answer questions like that
2 I do a very good job of answering questions like that
3I look damn good while answering questions like that, your turn

it's cocky, it's funny, and it puts her in the position where she will obey your command.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:47 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
I'm trying to get this girl from match dot com..she looks pretty hot..not the hottest and had a pretty down-to-earth profile.

I told the hot target to tell me 3 things besides her looks that would make me want to know her better via an online personal as STYLE (Neil Strauss) has suggested.

She has replied back with this:

"Better yet why don't you give me three reasons why I should take the time to tell you about myself.

Morgan"


I have no idea what to do when they throw this back in my face. Any suggestions or experience in this area would be greatly appreciated, fellow PUA.

I posted this also at: building attraction & comfort sub-forum (please look there)
Some forum guys have suggested some things but I guess you'd be the ONLINE GURU...I would appreciate any help. =)
what would a sarcastic dick say?


1 I'm willing to answer questions like that
2 I do a very good job of answering questions like that
3I look damn good while answering questions like that, your turn

it's cocky, it's funny, and it puts her in the position where she will obey your command.
Thank you for your response.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:41 am 
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so this girl i still talk to everynow and then on msn, i got her from plenty of fish to msn, but she is always having plans. She like the stories, and is interested. On occasion she would message me out of nowhere. I mentioned to her after our last meeting where she went offline when i said...

"ok so far i know that you have a desire to want to be able to handle your liqour, and that you dont eat much meat, there must be more to your personality that i dont know?"

after that she went offline, she seems to be the young type that just wants to get drunk all the time, and wanting to be able to handle liqour, so i can tell this is short term, but most girls i deal with are like this, i do not know how to seduce these ones cause its hard to draw anything out of them it seems.


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 Post subject: Attraction?
PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:50 pm 
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Hey J,
how do u create attration during IM or myspace messages...
i`ve tried storytelling before but the thing is i cant kino..
I`m too used to M3, Mystery`s method

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:50 pm 
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Hey guys and Jsmooth

So heres my situation...I have a friend who I used to work with, who now works at a restaurant. She knows this other girl who also works there but was recently fired. Now the girl who was fired is really cute, I told my friend to hook me up, and all she said was to add the girl on facebook.

So I added the hot girl on facebook and said im a friend of this girls, and she said you were a cool girl and you and I should talk sometime.

So she added me back yesterday....how do i go about starting a conversation with her? I have no idea what to say to her and I dont want to keep bringing up the girl were friends with in common because i dont think they are that great of friends....what do you think?

i was thinking something like..."Hey,
So as I said I'm a friend of ****, we used to work together at *****. I was talking to her at the gym the other day, she said you were a nice person, but I dont know...you look like a trouble maker...are you?

or this
Hey ***,
I'm ****, I used to work with **** at ******, and bumped into her at Friday's a few times. I was talking to her at the gym a few days ago and she said you may or may not be interested in going out and getting a drink sometime...this is very random since I have no idea who you are, but as long as you arent one of those creepy stalker girls I think well be good!

good? lame? cheesy? any better ideas?
i have a feeling asking her to get drinks right away is too forward..i tend to be too forward a lot....what should i do?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:31 am 
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Location: Nashville
Quote:
so this girl i still talk to everynow and then on msn, i got her from plenty of fish to msn, but she is always having plans. She like the stories, and is interested. On occasion she would message me out of nowhere. I mentioned to her after our last meeting where she went offline when i said...

"ok so far i know that you have a desire to want to be able to handle your liqour, and that you dont eat much meat, there must be more to your personality that i dont know?"

after that she went offline, she seems to be the young type that just wants to get drunk all the time, and wanting to be able to handle liqour, so i can tell this is short term, but most girls i deal with are like this, i do not know how to seduce these ones cause its hard to draw anything out of them it seems.
Gustave,

Your job online is not to seduce the girl or even worry about building attraction with her. Your job is just to build comfort and rapport enough with her so that she wants to hang out. If she doesn't give you time to talk to her, then it might be time to move on. You can only do so much and if she won't communicate with us, then we're in trouble.

Jon

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 Post subject: Re: Attraction?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 4:36 am 
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Quote:
Hey J,
how do u create attration during IM or myspace messages...
i`ve tried storytelling before but the thing is i cant kino..
I`m too used to M3, Mystery`s method
Mikehawk,

Sure you can create attraaction during IM or Emails, but that isn't your primary job when you are online. You just kind of spice it in when you get the chance. Your main job online is to build comfort and a connection with the person you are talking to. You want them to feel comfort with you, but interested in you at the same time. As you go through talking and telling stories back and forth sure you can insert attraction spikes very simply.

You might see me insert things like...

"My past girlfriend was the same way..." (Pre Selection)

"When I'm out with my friends that's how I am, I look out for them." (Leader/Protector)

You get the idea I'm sure since you are familiar with Mystery's Method. Of course you can't kino and you have to be careful with teasing since that can easily be taken the wrong way online.

When we get the girl in person on our date we kind of have to go back from comfort phase and build attraction and kino. Some attraction is assumed especially on dating sites, but on sites like MySpace you might have to work to create it more.

Jon

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 3:45 pm 
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Quote:
Hey guys and JSmooth

So heres my situation...I have a friend who I used to work with, who now works at a restaurant. She knows this other girl who also works there but was recently fired. Now the girl who was fired is really cute, I told my friend to hook me up, and all she said was to add the girl on facebook.

So I added the hot girl on facebook and said im a friend of this girls, and she said you were a cool girl and you and I should talk sometime.

So she added me back yesterday....how do i go about starting a conversation with her? I have no idea what to say to her and I dont want to keep bringing up the girl were friends with in common because i dont think they are that great of friends....what do you think?
Biggunz113,

I agree with you that you don't want to keep bringing up your mutual friend. At some point you have to start getting to know her on your own. That might as well start happening from the begining of the conversation between you to.

First, realize there is no such thing as the perfect thing to say to a girl. There just isn't anything like that out there. Granted there are things that you shouldn't say to women, but I don't think you have that problem.

Quote:
i was thinking something like..."Hey,
So as I said I'm a friend of ****, we used to work together at *****. I was talking to her at the gym the other day, she said you were a nice person, but I dont know...you look like a trouble maker...are you?
I like this as an opener. Its good, to the point, and encourages her to respond and gives you a way to talk.
Quote:
or this
Hey ***,
I'm ****, I used to work with **** at ******, and bumped into her at Friday's a few times. I was talking to her at the gym a few days ago and she said you may or may not be interested in going out and getting a drink sometime...this is very random since I have no idea who you are, but as long as you arent one of those creepy stalker girls I think well be good!

good? lame? cheesy? any better ideas?
i have a feeling asking her to get drinks right away is too forward..i tend to be too forward a lot....what should i do?
I agree that asking her out in the first message is too forward. First, you have to realize that she doesn't know you or know anything about you. The only way she could is to call her friend, and they you have to rely on that girl to DHV you and basically sell you to her. Not the best plan.

When a girl gets to know someone better and actually establishes a connection with them and becomes comfortable with them its easier to say yes to things like getting phone numbers and dates. This is why we don't go up to women on the street and after talking to them for 5 minutes get a phone number.

If we did they'd all flake because even if she's attracted to us, she doesn't know anything about us. She can invision sitting on a date with akward silences because she doesn't know what to talk about with you. Since she can see that in her head, and has been on dates like that before it's easier for her to say No than Yes!

Go with your first idea, and GOOD LUCK!

Jon

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