| Hi everyone.
First of all, I hope you will pardon my horrible English (not my native language).
This post is something halfway between looking for advice and asking for some simpathy. Rather AFC, I know. I used to take a look at this forum here and there, following discussion, but so far I posted just a short, unremarkable, message (some months ago). Now I'm here with a report I'm really not so proud of.
I'm a married 44 year old man. Until my marriage (12 years ago) no big problems with girls. You win, you loose, I suppose the average. After marriage, a really happy relationship with my wife, no doubts, no looking back. So, what am I doing in a PUA forum? It came out of curiosity after reading The Game. Then, just for fun, I started practicing some routines. Not really sarging, just entertaining female friends and colleagues. After all, I didn't want an affaire out of my marriage.
Then... it worked even too well (or maybe it was just a "fool's mate", in Mistery's words). One of my colleagues (almost 20 years younger than me, she works in a different office of the department) started showing interest in me. It was a strange thing. She was very open on text messaging (IM and SMS), but very very shy in person. Anyway, after a while she plainly declared she was almost falling in love. But she told also that this would have led nowhere because se didn't want to harm another woman.
One day, we planned to go kite flying (I told her it was one of my hobbies). I am not so good with acrobatic kites, just started some weeks ago, so I was very concerned about appearing as an incompetent. Unexpectedly, everything went very well with kites. I mastered them perfectly, and I taught her how to start.
But… I was so worried to get everything right with kites… and I didn’t notice that time was running short. And we had to get back in town. So I packed everything and suddenly realized the huge amount of opportunities (kino and even kiss) I had all over the afternoon. You can imagine… holding kite handles together and so on. I did NOTHING.
Well, in the very last minute the ghost of the worst AFC you have ever met took over my mind.
So I just asked her “but, do you think our situation will lead to a kiss soon or later?”.
She: “don’t think so. I’m too respectful of your family for that”.
Since that day, we IM and SMS a lot. She is still very attracted by me, or so she says. But things are going nowhere. I haven’t been able to arrange a second date. Maybe she is a little cooler than usual, but I don’t know exactly.
Now I’m here with this big regret on my shoulders. I should have only kino escalated, no asking for a kiss, and I’m sure K-close was granted that way.
I am confused too. Being married, this is a difficult moral issue. And this could explain a lot about THAT day. But, I’m afraid I’m going one-itis with the girl, accepting possible consequences. Of course, I’m not asking you advice about moral issues. This is something I have to deal with by myself.
So, (just joking) a lesson learned: never invite a girl into an activity you are not well experienced…
And, not joking, any suggestions on how to get back on track with this situation? Keep in mind that so far I just played with openers and DHVs just for fun. Never tried escalation or comfort with girls.
Should I freeze? Should I invite her to an event (some sports for example) with other people just to make her feel safe?
Thank you in advance, people.
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CHAT