I was out at a club last Friday night celebrating my friends b-day, there were a bunch of us there, and this girl ended up opening me by asking one of my buds about me, and wanted to get introduced.

This doesn't happen to me.

And the girl was pretty hot, a good solid 8, so I went with it. She said she was really impressed with how I was dressed, that I had the whole "University of Richmond" look down. [the private exp. university in town]

We talked about all kinds of stuff, that she was from Boston, I was like "Boston? Aren't people rude as fuck up there?" and when when she took out a pack of cigarettes I said "Oh, see we could never be together b/c you smoke, it just wouldn't work." and she gave me this kinda evil laugh. Then she explained that she smokes when she drinks sometimes; I was like, "Okay I might enjoy a good cigar every now and then." and she was like, "See? You do too, what's w/ the shit talkin'?" jokingly.

I escelated the conv. some as we talked, got some kino out of it, from time to time, I'd lightly touch her arm (kind of a light stroke from her mid forearm down to her wrist, it'd begin and end smoothly, and wasn't abrupt, I also intended it to be quick, kinda leave her wondering if there's more) she was definitely comfortable.

After a while she went to the dance floor w/ her girlfriend, and like 4 minutes before last call, I happened to be walking by her w/ my boys around, and I handed her my iphone with the number screen on and said "you know what to do." She gave me that same kinda mischevious laugh again and took my phone from me. Not only did she put in her number, but her first and LAST name as well.....?!...As the night ended I got in the limo w/ my boys and hugged her goodnight (she wasn't there *with* us.)

Like 2pm-ish Saturday I sent follow-up texts to the 2 girls whose numbers I got. I wrote:

"Rachel, hey! It's Rob. Nice meeting u last night." She wrote back a couple hours later:

"Hey yah good to meet you too" so I left it alone, as a good pua should do, right?

I decided to call this afternoon, this was the voicemail I left:

"Rachel, hey, it's Rob! I met you at xbar last weekend, I was hanging out with my buddy Jeff, just givin' you a call saying hi. Why don't you give me a call when you get a minute...."

She didn't call.

I mean I know the voicemail might've been a little AFC'-ish, but I want to get that flake rate down.

Any input on how I did or what seems to be going on here would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

This is been getting a lot of views, just wonderin' if there's any feedback?

I'd say your in-bar game was great! It sounds like she definitely is/was interested.

The follow-up text is decent. Nothing too long, and though it was the next day, it still didn't come off to me as needy.

HOWEVER, in my opinion your phone call did more harm than good. The call sounds like it was basically the same as your text: "Hi how ya doin'" indicating that you're thinking about her. You already did that, and telling her that multiple times makes you seem needy. A better first phone call would have been "Hey Rachel, it's Rob from xbar last weekend. I am going to be [insert fun activity here] this week. You should come along, it's going to be a blast. Give me a call and we'll work out the details." She did not flake because you did not present a 'date' for her to flake out on!

Inviting her to call you to chat and say hi doesn't represent the fun, confident, mysterious guy that she met at the bar. You have to keep that image going, and make her feel privileged to come along on the wild ride that is your life!

Hope this helps.

that "you know what to do" thing is smooth. im a fan of the simply-handing-your-phone-to-the-chick number close and thats a perfect line to go with it!

i don't think it woulda hurt to have exchanged a few more texts..not too much, maybe a few flirty jokes back and forth. the mutual "good to meet you" is a little dull...

and i agree w/ Shades about the phone call. "just saying hi" keeps things pretty stagnant

Ok but what was the intent of this message ! Everytime you communicate/date/call/send an sms you should know at what stage you are and where do you want to take the conv. say you are at C1 at the bar, then the texts etc.. should be intended to get to C3, convey something about your personality.

Nice meeting you last nite !! - this is what she must have read, "I'm thinking about you since last nite, I'm lame and thank you for talkin to me"
She reads: " Hey rachel its Rob. I hope you still remember me from xbar because I'm not taht of a memorable guy and you probably meet a lot of guys like me. I'm calling to say hi and trying to be on your radar because I CARE. PLEASE give me a call when ever you have a chance because I know that you are very busy but I'm lame and available"

Sorry for being harsh on you but why do you giveyour power away after doing soo well at the bar !! UNless you were able to convey higher status to her at the bar, or she was massively attracted to you, or she wants your 'tool' dont expect a call back

No no no no, it wasn't harsh at all. A lot of it made sense and I definitely appreciate it. Thanks for writing!

I agreed with almost everything the whole way through.

Was the first text a problem /could it have been a problem? In this case, I'm gonna say no, and maybe. Other respondents have noted, "no it came off as cool, and not too, needy, eve, though it was the next day."

A lot of guys would even advise shooting a quick text the next day b/c 1. she's hot and has stuff going on...she might forget you, (we don't want to visibly acknlowledge that but yes it's true) and 2. that first text was ok...wasn't needy, came off as I don't give a shit and I'm indifferent to the outcome, no matter what.

Your feedback about the first txt I think goes too far. No one, on that first text, would infer that I'm saying all of this inferior stuff (eg. uhh, I'm boring and not memorable, and I'm thinking about you that's why I texted.... uhhh, do you like me? because I hope you do!!!!!) NO. Quick text. That could've come from anyone. That was fine. A chode goes further.

If a girl would really see all of that from one first friendly text, then I'm not even interested in getting to know that superficial piece of shit bitch!

-

I could've upped my game at the bar while still there...absolutely. I mean this is a learning experience, so I'm not gonna beat myself up over it, but if I PUSHED AND PUSHED AND PUSHED, I probably could've made out with her that night at the bar.

The call I made prob. did more harm than good, the verdict is pretty much back in on that one. I agree, I could've called later, or when I did call, maybe mention a specific event, etc......

-but then again she might've just been a girl that gets numbers all night, "numbers, numbers, numbers, I don't care" And if so, hey, that says more about her than me, and I prob. shouldn't even need to post about it.

Thanks for writing dude!

Hey man it's okey, your first text was cool but your phone call could have been done much better.

Here is what I would do when calling her:

If I call and get the voicemail I say: "Rachel, hey, it's Rob! I met you at xbar last weekend. It was nice meeting you, you seemed a lot of fun and interesting, then bust on something/tease on her. Preferably something you teased her last night about. It would be fun if we met for a drink some time...the coming days I am busy with whatever but I will give you a ring to let you know when we could meet."

The drink-thing you could also leave out and come up with it the next time you contact her.

In the above example you come off as secure, confident, non-needy and cocky and playful. Also, you pose a certain amount of challenge to her buy telling her that you will let her know if and when you are going to have a drink and continue the interaction. Also, you imply that you are a busy and occupied man. You keep controlling the frame: you have the power. She will be excited to hear something from you.