Approach anxiety. What will other people think?



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 9:16 pm 
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This would be my first post on this forum. So far I have gone through about the half of "The Game" book. Whatever that I was doing until now didn't work. So I figured I try some of Style's/Mistery's suggestions. By the way, I consider my self a decently good looking guy, 6' tall, in good shape. My wardrobe until recently has always been a nice pair of light color jeans, hip sneakers and a funny T-shirt. Since it is time for a change then fuck it, I might just as well go all the way.
So I buy a nice pair of dark, slim fit Levis jeans. I put on my nicest pair of dress shoes I and I also got a few nice white shirts and a really hip, black skinny tie. I followed Mistery's advice here in that we all need something to wear that stands out from the rest of the crowd. It's what Mistery calls peackocking. Now, this may not seem much different but with the shirt untucked and wearing the tie loose with the colar open it gives it a hip look, what you see rock stars wear. And my silver hoop earring gives it a little edge as well. I do my best to look less stuffy like most of wall street dudes down here in NYC. You feel a different vibe. You notice women looking at you and keeping their eyes locked on you just a little bit longer than ever before. It gives your confidence the needed boost. BUT all of that with ZERO game still leads nowhere. You need to open your mouth and speak the words at some point.

My first problem I need to work on is approaching. I don't pay much attention to canned openers. I usually just come up with something to say out of blue just to get a little rapport from the girl. Like today I walk into Rickys to buy an umbrella and immediately start saying "I buy one of these damn things every week, bla bla bla". I try to stay away from asking her questions. If the girl engages then it's on. I got the Ricky's girl's email with only a couple of sentences. Talking to sales girls is a good way to practice approach and by the way, asking for an email instead of phone number is WAY EASIER. Women usually don't have a problem giving out emails (something I picked up from David DeAngelo's mail list). Baby steps first, then onto the harder stuff.

BUT my fear isn't approaching the girl and fearing that she will reject me. I actually don't care if she does or what she thinks. What gets me is that if there are people around, especially in close proximity, like in Starbucks or on the train then I just can't get a word out and I keep thinking "all these people are watching me trying to pickup this girl and they can't wait for me to fail and laugh at me".
After a few bears these fears diminish but I need to learn it without the help from booze. And forget about approaching a girl if she's with her friends. That just frightens the crap out of me.

I also need to work on the 3 second rule as well. The truth is, the more I think about approaching the girl and analyzing all the possible outcomes, the less likely it is that I will actually approach.

Any comments appreciated.


Crazie Legz


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 13, 2009 10:41 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:28 am
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Crazie:

Don't worry about other people, 99% of people don't give a fuck about what any one around them does. For example, if you are enjoying a coffee in Starbucks, do you really want to waste your time focusing on a random guy talking to a random girl?

People talk to each other all the time, and the majority of people don't listen in on others conversations.

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Red Hot


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 4:26 pm 
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Your answer makes total sense. I never thought about it that way. Awesome!


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