I started to date this girl. She is 25 years old and according to her, she has ever had sex only with her ex-boyfriend who she has been together with for 7 years. We have been together for 3 weeks now, spent nearly every day together and had really good time. She sais she loves me and I'am sure I am attracted to her and everything. We kiss, we do petting, she has already slept 3 times at my place but everytime I go forward to get her panties off (cuz imagine 2 damned hours of petting!!!) she goes like "stop, please no. I am not ready yet". I try to explain her there is nothing to worry about and that I love her and want to be with her and everything. I do pull backs like playing online games all night instead sleeping next to her and pretendiong to be really angry and so on. Nothing works and I don't wanna rape her!
I start to be really nervous about all this shit.

What to do, help, please!!!

Thanks!!!

You have hit a boundary. You cannot go past it (without it being considered rape).

You must lead in the interaction and I do not see from your message you are. This is different than trying to rip her panties off...

Next time she says to stop, do that -- then think really hard on what you have done to stimulate her to get her to want to have sex with you.

Dude, talk to her about it. There's no rule that says you can't talk about sex. Just be like "Ok, so hey... you know I like you, and I'm pretty sure you like me too. You say youre not ready yet, but what is it youre waiting to be ready for?"

She is going to say "blah blah, I just wanna make sure, yatta yatta."

You say, "Ok, just know I want you, and I want you to want me the same way.. Maybe soon we can move forward."

She will say "That sounds good, blah blah."

This convo will do a couple things, a) address the issue b) let her know you are open to talk about sex.

A) will help encourage her to consider her silliness, and relieve some tension as to the 800 pound gorilla in the room

B) lets her know you are sensitive to her feelings, and ready to have serious conversations with her. This will make her feel you have an deeper emotional connection, speeding up the process.

Don't pressure her, just be understanding. Its up to you how long youd like to wait... Sounds like she just wants to make sure you are for real. Not all chicks are skanks, some actually have legitimate standards- crazy huh!

_________________
Make Moves

Swoop

swoop that sounds similar to what he was trying to do

if i were you id just start taking off my clothes during the "petting session"
but then again im pretty AFC

just an idea

maybe instead of going right for intercourse move her hand onto your penis during petting. a handjob aint intercourse but it's closer than nothing!

and that might ease her more into what you want

Thanks guys. It's great that I can share my problems with you here. I'm not an AFC - I'm half-natural and I have never had big pick up problems. And that's actually the reason why I am so much confused now. I've been doing my best to show her that I'm not just playing with her (which is true - I wanna her as a GF). We spent 3 weeks together, she really liked pretty much everything, she kept telling me she loved me and so on. Yesterday, according to me, I did the number one day (my top ever) - a trip, great chat, lots of fun, cinema, I cooked some meal+movie at my place, blah blah blah. She slept at my place again. We did some petting, lots of kissing, lots of great talking, lots of all that shit that all girls like. I even calmly told her "good night" after all that "shit". Ofcourse it was pretty hard for me to even close my eyes with bone hard dick all night. In the morning we started to make out again, good foreplay and guess what.... in the end, she didn't let me to take her panties off again. I have never done so much and so long effort in my life without the prize. I couldn't help myself - after all these 3 weeks of my effort - still nothing. I felt like an AFC + total idiot! Got REALLY angry and did some really hardcore freezing out. Stoped talking at all, refusing her hand and so on. She went home, was calling me afterwards and I told her everything! I recalled "the gunwitch method": "don't be ashamed for your masculinity and it's sexual needs - always be proud of it". And I went like: "I am a man, I need sex, I really love you but without sex it's nothing for me. We are not 16 but 27 / 25 so what's the fucking problem? I am really angry, after all the great time we spent together, you are still afraid? Blah blah blah. In the end I told her: "I cannot wait months, I just can't. I'm a man and sex is very important for me. Without it, I don't feel the realationship is houndred percent." She tried to blame me a bit for my words, then she said she understood but I replyed that that was all I wanted to say. "Bye." Guys I just couldn't resist any longer to get rid of the AFC feeling! And I feel better now.

haha.. i'm having almost the exact same problem as u and then some--it's been 3 weeks, we see each other a couple of times a week, i keep a really fun vibe between us and we really dig each other; in the bedroom, i can get past the panties & get creative with my hands with little or no problem, and she'll tease the hell out of me, but then bail out on sex LAST SECOND (i've tried just about every LMR method known to PUAs & still nothing). i'm a club promoter & have been in the game for a good minute now; before her, i screwed a couple of chicks a week on average (she knows about my reputation & is okay with it) & after i went exclusive with her (possible spur of the moment dumb decision lol), i haven't gotten any in 3 fcking weeks and am getting a little pissed off. i'm going to give her another week (which i probably shouldn't) and sadly move on. any opinions & pointers guys?

(sorry jimdixon, didn't mean to steal ur thread lol)

Well it's nice to know that from Los Angeles to Prague, guys out there are having the same problems as me! I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks now, also with the intent of long term dating, and I cannot move past kissing and heavy petting. I've tried it all! .... well, everything except for confronting her directly about it. I think that's my next move, and if I don't like the results, then I guess I'll have to throw in the towel.

It's funny. I don't know if this is the case for you, but this only seems to happen with the girls who I'm actually interested in for something more than sex. I think it's because I'm less willing to freeze out/speak my mind if I'm actually interested in the person, for fear of scaring them away.

What a weird thing the human psyche is.

a lot of intelligent guys on this forum, i'm sure if this is such a common problem, there has to be a solution. lets keep bumping this thread and get more guys to contribute to the conversation.

It's really great that there are many others dealing with the same shit all over the globe

I've been searching the Internet for some researches and I found out that in the Czech Republic (which I think is very similar to US when considering the PUA conditions), one third of all women let their new boyfriend wait 2 moths and more! The other two 1/3s are 2 weeks and a few days. So guys, it's not anything exceptional at all. We've finally rushed to ones that are not "the easy bar material" lol. There was a discussion under the research article with many women involved. They just have the advantage of not considering sex as anything so important as we do. It's just their manipulating tool. One of the girls wrote there: "I let them wait because a kid who has to earn money hard and save it to buy himself a new car definitely treats it better afterwards than the one who gets it from his parents." And it makes sense. Secondly, the more and longer effort you invest the less you wanna throw it away and give it up - it's like reparing a car - when you have almost repaired it (you've been working on the engine for 3 weeks) and there is only the battery recharging left, who the fuck has the mood to give it up? Maybe someone who definitely isn't a man.

So Shades, don't you dare to throw a towel in! Go on, play the game and never gives it up, unless.....as Gunwitch would say (btw definitely the most impressive PUA statements - a must read!!! http://www.gunwitch.com/ ): "Make the ho say no". It means never gives it up unless the girl sais definite NO. If you just don't have the mood to contuinue the waiting shit, face her with the facts, give her the ultimatum, give her the chance to say NO. If she really sais it (and I doubt it), you can confidently, like a man, walk away. Becouse unlike giving it up and walking away, the try counts.

Don't be ashamed for your masculinity. You are men, you are supposed to want to have sex. Be proud of that. Maybe it's not what women say they like but as we all well know, the bottom line of the whole PUA idea is there is a huge difefrence between what women say and what they really desire under their social programming. Nature is not stupid, if you combine it well with your charisma and emotional vibe, your sexual attitude towards women makes them horny. Maybe they say you are a horny pig, but it's just their tool to make you asure them again about your intention to stay with them even afterwards. But that doesn't mean they doesn't like you being horny!

Regarding my progress, we spent another great day together. We talked a lot about it. I told her all that shit and she said she understood. She told me she was definitely attracted to me and wanted to have sex but was just scared. Finnaly, she told me that I was getting pretty close and if it still would be so nice, it wouldn't last long. She just asked me to hold on a bit more. And I will cuz I feel it will come soon and this girl is worth it.

Guys talk about it with the girls. Go for it. Be proud men and do not apologize your needs.

I'll keep you informed and hope you will too.

Good luck.

Greetings from Prague....

I think you both knew this, but you reached a stage where you have been able to coax it from her and cause her to admit it, to you, and to herself. That's a pretty huge step I think. Nice work - I think you did all the right things - you were really at breaking point before you finally got mad and told her how you felt (you didn't get mad too early).

We know people have issues they have to get over, but some times the best SPAM is a kick in the pants.

I've got a link from Irwin: The Mystery Freeze out Method http://www.youtube.com./watch?v=3dnBTnKArbk Please, first watch it. After watching it, I'm again unsure of what I did - I mean not being able to resist the freeze out and openly conveying her my anger and dissapointment about her not wanting to give me sex. I hope I didn't mess it up. Guys what do you think about the video? I think I am definitely try it next time she sleeps at my place. Even 3 times in a row. Fuck, my balls are going to explode.

Well if you look at the previous point on the board, it says 7 hours, as in 7 hours total contact time. The context of this vid is a girl putting up LMR as a basic test to not be used for a one night stand. So if you've had more than 7 hours contact time over 3 weeks, then it might be getting on a bit, so you're allowed to be a man and not be ashamed of wanting sex.

Having said that, it would've been better if you didn't lose your cool - you can get fed up of something and "lay down how it's going to be" without losing your cool and getting mad. Stay alpha.

The other thing is, she's only had one BF for 7 years, so having another is going to be like moving out of home or something. She's a very inexperienced 25 year old basically. So she has a little bit of an issue. You might be in for some more comfort building with this one.

I think going back and reading Swoop's post again is a good idea. I feel the key points are "what are you waiting to be ready for?" and "I hope we can move forward soon" - of course they need the rest of the sentances to present it nicely, but I feel like this, in a very gentle way, forces her to acknowledge that there's no good reason for the way she's behaving and she will have to get over it internally before she can move on.

WARNING! You are dealing with a girl that has spent the last 7 years with the same guy. Now she is with you. That is somthing that may be difficult for her to wrap her head around right away. It seems more to me like a comfort issue that she has in her head, which can be conquered, just takes more work. You need to realize that sometimes when women jump from one relationship to the other, they have not had to time to drop whatever norms were consistant in thier last relationship, even though you are an entirely different guy. My ex jumped from a destructive relationship to me, caught the other poor bastard outta no where. He and I were not alike at all. But she expected me to act like him so much, that over time, her actions brought about the same reactions, thus turning me into him at which point it was time to rethink things...

If this chick it worth it, stick around. Make sure you have a balance established before you move on, becuase as of now, she is setting the relationship up for her to run the show. Useually the person who wants more is the one that gets screwed over...

First, let this be a lesson to you. Never start "dating, get exclusive, etc..." without fucking her first. The ones that won't sleep with you usually have some sort of hang ups associated with them so you really don't want those anyways.

Second, why would she sleep with you when you've already handed your balls to her already. You admittedly spend way too much time with her and get pissed when she refuses to put out. This screams neediness in the worst way. Don't do this man unless you want to continue having blue balls.

Third, so lets recap. Stop spending so much time with her. Its doing more harm than good scarcity is what your looking for. Don't get angry when she doesn't put out. Just leave and go sleep at your own house. Go out and start seeing other girls. Show her that your not needy and can/will get with other women if she doesn't get with the program.

I'm not so sure about that. I think it could be a deal breaker and ensure she loses a bit of trust in you.

For whatever reason it occoured, laying there next to a girl you're attracted to and not being allowed to touch her is a perfect way to lay awake all night unable to sleep. There's something so wrong with it, it feels so terrible.

One night I got up and started to get dressed, she woke up (if she was asleep) and I had to tell her I just couldn't sleep there, and I didn't know why, and I was heading home. She was just staring at me (but I couldn't tell in the darkness). The next day she told me she was crying all night because of that.

Also I remember another time I did this same thing, for the same reason, with another girl I was seeing before that, with the same result.

Both times, when I got home I fell asleep straight away.

In fact I think I did it more than once with both girls.


Honestly I'm left with the feeling that it's probably one of the worst things you can do to a girl. When you think about how on a primal level they're looking for someone to protect them, and not desert them, you couldn't possibly create a situation for them to feel more deserted if you tried.

I felt like I lost some trust with them for that, and the relationship went downhill after that, possibly because of it (amongst other things).