ONLINE DATING QUESTION ~ ASK J SMOOTH!!!



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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 1:59 pm 
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Hey I have a question,

Do you wait a certain timeframe before replying to emails? I know the 3 day rule with getting numbers but what about emails? I have a blackberry so I can reply back as fast as they can send them. I usually wait at least 5 hours before replying. You think I should wait days or what?


Thanks for the help,

Spence
Spence,

I'll be happy to answer this, and talk to you a bit about the phone as well. First of all, there are no hard set "rules" about waiting to call or email. There are only some guidelines out there that are suggestions. Personally, the day I get the girls number I text later and call within about 24-48 hours, and that works for me.

Don't wait... At one time I thought it would come across as needy to be replying back instantly and very quickly. I later found out this not to be the case with online as much. There were times when I'd be steadily replying back to someone, stop not to appear needy, and try to start messaging again. I found that it was harder to build back that same moment of messages flying back and forth.

When you have a girl on the hook so to speak and she's messaging you then you need to ride it out. Message her back pretty quickly and keep the rythm that you have while working to escalate and get her off the email to IM or on the phone, etc. This moment is actually a very important part of Online Game to get more dates and waiting hours if not days can kill the moment where is into you and has time for you.

Does that answer your question?

Jon

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:16 pm 
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JSmooth / Jon (I wasn't sure which one is appropiate so I've covered all bases by going for both!),

I'm loving this thread - major kudos for taking the time out to do it.

Anyways with the very much sincere flattery over hopefully I can fire you a question you don't mind answering.
MF Dom,

Please call me Jon. By the way flattery will get you everywhere, as I so often tell women. You are welcome, and I am always happy to take some time out to help where I can.
Quote:
First off my name is Dom and I'm 25, English but I've just moved to Australia with my work for 3 years. Due to the fact I don't have a massive social circle over here yet, although I'm already making solid headway in that respect and its not a major concern for me, I thought I'd give internet dating a go as a simple way to (hopefully) meet some decent birds.

My main issue with the internet dating is how I come across on the profile, there after I'm not especially worried. On the picture front I'm not massively concerned as I have a professional photo of me from work and looks have never been a major issue for me plus I've got loads of other cool photos so that's fine, its just the content or more specifically who I'm after.

Half the reason I signed up for internet dating is because I'm a bit bored of meeting girls who look pretty enough but I have nothing in common with. So I thought I'd try and portray that across and was just wondering how you think I'm doing particularly whether I sound like a bit too much of a tool. So here goes

Thanks in advance
I can see what you are getting at now. I can appreciate what you are doing because mostly I use online dating to screen people that are more of matches to what I am looking for regarding a long term relationship. It's good that you already have some professional photos so let's take a look at what you have written.
Quote:

Dom
About me:

It's been proven that every human's genes are 99.9% identical, so don't even think about looking at my profile and thinking 'I don't think I've got much in common with him'; science has long since proven that's just not true.

However, if you're really concerned about that 0.1% then here's some fun facts about me:-
I like this part. It is original it catches my attention and makes me want to keep reading. This is a good way to start an online profile since there is usually a lot of facts to read through.
Quote:
- I treat everyday as a schoolday and try to learn something new each day. I always try and have a hobby that involves learning to do something new I'm currently on a photography course so I can take awe-inspiring photos as I like pretending I'm a creative mind.
- Most of the time you'll probably find me reading books, listening to music or doing something music related; I've spent the last year teaching myself to play the guitar and think nothing beats a night out than the SPAM you get at a good gig.
To continue with the somewhat cocky and playful attitude that you are potraying here and to keep it fun I think I might add something after the guitar bit. I would say something like, "I don't take requests... =)" This is again to just show you being fun and playful about it.
Quote:
- I try and take every opportunity available to me and keep the what could go wrong thoughts to a minimum. Because of this I've worked in 4 continents although I've had to go overseas on my own which means missing my family and friends but I've seen so many more cool things than if I was sat on the couch that I don't regret it.
- I make sure I go out on the weekends with my friends especially if there's singstar involved; I'm willing to take up any challenge out there but you'll need to bring your A game if you want to beat me at Complicated;
NICE!
Quote:
- I look after myself by cooking from fresh most nights (my Grandad was a baker so there's some cooking pedigree in me!) and I also play loads of soccer. I can balance the ball on my neck and take my t-shirt with the ball still there - one day this skill is going to save my life. maybe.
- I like a bit of an adventure - I've just got into scuba diving, it's really weird, quite scary but its the closest I'm ever going to get to going to another world

- And finally a pointless random fact - I've played a San Francisco police officer in a Bollywood movie.
Again, we have some skills that we know you have. We get to see that you are funny and playful. You have some very rich and deep life experiences for the women to relate to. I feel that you have conveyed your personality pretty well to the point I can practically see you sitting across from me. GOOD.
Quote:
What I'm Looking For

I've got a wide variety of friends some are really arty and cool in their interests and really into travelling, music, art and (god bless them) can be too cool for school or anything mainstream (sport, pop, crap tele) and then I've got some who just love to party, have never read a book in their life and will sit and happily sit around watching MTV all day and plenty of friends in between.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle, I try not to dismiss anything just because its either a bit weird and different or just because everybody likes it and I want to be different.
I like how you are conveying that you have different types of friends and so that you aren't labeled under a certain "Type" of person that women have a tendency of doing.
Quote:
I'd like to meet someone who's the same, who's into their cultural stuff like gigs, films, going out and seeing the world, taking photos of men with 80's mullets whilst they're not looking, but who also doesn't dismiss something just because its not especially cool or if its sporty.

If you fit that bill in return I'll make you laugh or smile approximately every 7.8s, teach you how to make great pastry and introduce you to loads of cool music.

Saying that if you wear converse or floral dresses, message me anywhere as there is no accounting for good taste in my book.
Awesome! I usually have something in my profile that says if you are tall I give brownie points or if you are outgoing I give you extra points. These little qualifications are good to use and help a lot when people go to contact you. Expect messages saying I WEAR CONVERSE! To immediately try and qualify to you. :) Nice job!
Quote:
P.S.

The first para came from the link below although I reworded it so noone will find it on google :D I think every PUA should have a read of this page to see some absolutley hilarious personals from London:-

Oooh my link doesn't work as I don't have enough posts if you do wnat to see it just say, here's my favourite:-

My last husband was a loser. If you’re not a loser please reply. Woman, 40. Incredibly simple criteria.
I am sure it's an interesting ad.

You have all the major components of a good Profile. You have described yourself and your personality. I feel like I know you after reading that and that is what we need an instant connection of rapport from the woman reading it for buy in.

You have done and equally good job of describing the type of woman that you are after. It was smart of you to insert qualifications to make it easy for her to reply and give her and "IN" so to speak.

You were playful throughout the profile being a bit funny here and there which is always good I think. You even called the reader to action at the end of you profile to contact you and that is very easily overlooked.

Of course you say that you have good and professional pictures of you so that won't be an issue. I think you are good here. You have put together a good profile that is very specific to you, detailed, easy to read, catches the eye, and calls the reader to action. It's apparent that you have either done this before or been paying attention to various articles or posts about how to write a good profile.

Excellent job man. If you need any help later on I'll be here.

Jon

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 Post subject: 50 PAGES!!!
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 2:34 pm 
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50 PAGES OF ONLINE GAME!!!

Wow, 739 replies and 22,748 views.

Time for us to party.......on a BOAT!

<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/R7yfISlGLNU&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/R7yfISlGLNU&hl ... 2=0x54abd6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>

Thanks to everyone has posted for your questions and your continued support of my advice regarding online game. I am truly happy to help out where I can and hopefully bring you a few steps closer to getting the girl!

PEACE & LOVE

JON



Image

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Last edited by JSmooth on Thu Jun 11, 2009 3:43 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 3:04 pm 
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Guys, we have been through 50 pages of material so I think you guys get the idea about the basic rules and stuff of this thread...but just as a refresher to those just tuning in.

Basic Rules

1. Please do not post 20-30 minutes of Instant Message or Email conversation. If your post is filling up my page its hard for me to read through it all. Try to sum up what has been said, and if I need specifics I'll ask you for them. Do feel free to quote who you were talking to though.

2. I love to write but I'm not you're personal writer. I will answer all kinds of "How do I..." questions, but please take my responses and put them in your own words. If you do not, when you meet the girl she will notice there are incongruencies very quickly. The way I say things might not work for you, so take the concept and then write your own response please.

3. Ask anything you want but let's make sure it's related to online dating.

4. If I don't immediately know the answer, I'll tell you and research some possible solutions and then get back to you. Don't be offended if I don't get right back to you. I am online typically more during the work week, and will make every effort to answer you in a timely manner.

5. If you have a private matter, I encourage you to post it on the thread so others can help, but if you don't want to post on the thread feel free to PM me!

6. Try to read through some of the posts, I know it's a lot. A lot of the questions on here I answer over and over again. This is okay but there is a lot you can learn from 50 pages of questions about online. Chances are it has been answered at some point, so try to do some research

7. Have fun & Ask away!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jun 11, 2009 6:40 pm 
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that does help. thanks bro


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 3:58 pm 
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Jon,

Cheers for your reply, glad to hear someone else thinks its alright!

Thanks again for taking the time out to do it really appreciate it.

Dom


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:04 pm 
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You guys are very welcome! Happy to help out.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:38 pm 
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Hi J, I think u are one hell of a wonderful guy helping out in here and most of your advices has really improved my game, thanks man.

The online sarging has been great for me so far. my Attracting, comfort building, and transition has been successful, but there are some situations which I still find some problems in giving a more matured and acceptable reply to some questions. questions like;

1. Do u have a girlfriend/ are u single? (for girls that are so impress with my frame of confidence and intrigue by my ways, to not appear as an AFC)

2. What about your girlfriend? (for girls we chat online who are outside my circle that knows I have a girl that hangout with me but still interested in dating me and eventually steal me way, lol women are wonderful :lol: )


Expect to hear from u soon.


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:01 pm 
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Hi J, I think u are one hell of a wonderful guy helping out in here and most of your advices has really improved my game, thanks man.

The online sarging has been great for me so far. my Attracting, comfort building, and transition has been successful, but there are some situations which I still find some problems in giving a more matured and acceptable reply to some questions. questions like;

1. Do u have a girlfriend/ are u single? (for girls that are so impress with my frame of confidence and intrigue by my ways, to not appear as an AFC)

2. What about your girlfriend? (for girls we chat online who are outside my circle that knows I have a girl that hangout with me but still interested in dating me and eventually steal me way, lol women are wonderful :lol: )

Expect to hear from u soon.
Omans02,

Thank you for your comments. I am truly happy that I have been able to help you improve and get further in your interactions with women.

1. For girls that ask if you have a girlfriend or are single. #1 remember this is an indicator of interest. She wouldn't typically be asking if she was genuinely interested in you. Be honest about it. If you are single then tell her. I might say personally, "I'm single but I'm dating a few people to see where it goes." That way you can remain confident and keep your frame you have established.

2. So are you saying you have a girlfriend? I'm a bit confused... If you have a girl but want to hang around these women then I would express my girlfriend is excepting of the fact that you have a lot of female friends. Otherwise she is showing interested and see response to question 1. :)

Hope this continues to help you out,

Jon

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:40 am 
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got a question J. I asked this girl for her AIM on PoF and got her number instead, she said she'd prefer texts and isn't a phone person. I usually move from email to AIM and it works pretty well, but never from email to text, any pointers for building comfort quickly by text?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:13 am 
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got a question J. I asked this girl for her AIM on PoF and got her number instead, she said she'd prefer texts and isn't a phone person. I usually move from email to AIM and it works pretty well, but never from email to text, any pointers for building comfort quickly by text?
Blubaru,

There isn't any specific comfort building ideas that are just for text as oppose to being in person. Really texting isn't all that much different from IM in reality except that you are a lot closer to getting her on a date.

You can still to traditional comfort building by finding out about her passions, interests, hobbies, background, etc. One of the fun things I enjoy doing is taking them on a Text Fantasy Date during the middle of the day. Basically, I just roleplay with them that we go to the Bahamas, Vegas, Europe, or someplace like that...you can even do different time periods which is cool. Talk about everything from what you are wearing to other stuff.

When you do something like that its is very fun. Also she is now mentally imaging you to together on a date or spending time together and is excepting that. It's almost as good as the real thing because she is building a memory of dating you in a way.

Anyways, text is fun just remember the ultimate goal is to get her on a date. Once you have sent enough messages back and forth to the point you know she is comfortable with you and interacting with you well then go for the date.

Take it easy,

Jon

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 4:54 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Hi J, I think u are one hell of a wonderful guy helping out in here and most of your advices has really improved my game, thanks man.

The online sarging has been great for me so far. my Attracting, comfort building, and transition has been successful, but there are some situations which I still find some problems in giving a more matured and acceptable reply to some questions. questions like;

1. Do u have a girlfriend/ are u single? (for girls that are so impress with my frame of confidence and intrigue by my ways, to not appear as an AFC)

2. What about your girlfriend? (for girls we chat online who are outside my circle that knows I have a girl that hangout with me but still interested in dating me and eventually steal me way, lol women are wonderful :lol: )

Expect to hear from u soon.
Omans02,

Thank you for your comments. I am truly happy that I have been able to help you improve and get further in your interactions with women.

1. For girls that ask if you have a girlfriend or are single. #1 remember this is an indicator of interest. She wouldn't typically be asking if she was genuinely interested in you. Be honest about it. If you are single then tell her. I might say personally, "I'm single but I'm dating a few people to see where it goes." That way you can remain confident and keep your frame you have established.

2. So are you saying you have a girlfriend? I'm a bit confused... If you have a girl but want to hang around these women then I would express my girlfriend is excepting of the fact that you have a lot of female friends. Otherwise she is showing interested and see response to question 1. :)

Hope this continues to help you out,

Jon
Hi J, thanks for your reply, its really clear the air on what directions to channel my answers.

Don't be confuse J lol :lol: sure, I got this girl tho that I have the status of the small 'b' with and others that are scrambling for my attention :lol: , Being in the game and learning how to understand way women thinks has really improved my self esteem. You know how it feels when u are successful in attracting, closing women and getting past some major social obstacles?. I will settle down with one someday tho but until then I will keep enjoying my hard earn labour. long live Pu.

Thanks again man


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 3:40 pm 
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Hi J, thanks for your reply, its really clear the air on what directions to channel my answers.

Don't be confuse J lol sure, I got this girl tho that I have the status of the small 'b' with and others that are scrambling for my attention , Being in the game and learning how to understand way women thinks has really improved my self esteem. You know how it feels when u are successful in attracting, closing women and getting past some major social obstacles?. I will settle down with one someday tho but until then I will keep enjoying my hard earn labour. long live Pu.

Thanks again man
You are welcome!

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 Post subject: What next
PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 10:01 pm 
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i am having trouble with 2 girls right now

girl #1 i had a couple of short conversations with through messages not IM
when i tried to im her she did nawt respond i tried 3 times 3 different days it might be a coincadince she was just away from her computer if so whats my next move anyway should i even be IMing her

Girl #2 is a girl that i have known from a couple of years ago we never talked but we know of each other i am friends with her awn facebook and i ran into her in wendy's so i said

me: was that you in wendy's
her: haha yeah my friend wanted to get something before we went out

what do i say to that


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 Post subject: Re: What next
PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 2:01 pm 
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i am having trouble with 2 girls right now

girl #1 i had a couple of short conversations with through messages not IM
when i tried to im her she did nawt respond i tried 3 times 3 different days it might be a coincadince she was just away from her computer if so whats my next move anyway should i even be IMing her

Girl #2 is a girl that i have known from a couple of years ago we never talked but we know of each other i am friends with her awn facebook and i ran into her in wendy's so i said

me: was that you in wendy's
her: haha yeah my friend wanted to get something before we went out

what do i say to that
Hey man,

In situation #1 that you have above if you can not speak to her via IM for whatever various reasons then you need to get back to messaging her like you were. Resort back to those basic messages back and forth and then try again later to push it to talking via IM to further the interaction.

Situation #2 is unique for you because you already know this girl. Looking at what you had said back and forth it obvious we don't want to continue the conversation about being in Wendy's cause that won't get us anywhere. You need to switch topics to something you can talk about! Even if it is as simple as, "I haven't seen you in a while now, what have you been up to the past few years?"

Take it easy,

Jon

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