Hello Slayerz,

I'm sorry that you are having so many issues with Plenty of Fish. This can be a tricky opener because we are asking girls to immediately qualify to us when they know nothing about us. Its like walking up to a girl in real life and asking her to buy us a drink, it's tough sometimes. So we need to consider another opener for you.

Yes, you need to be a bit more descriptive about the type of girl that you are looking for and talk a bit more about your personality. All I can tell from this is that you are a bit arrogant or cocky and that you are an adventurist. There is more to you than that but they don't know because you didn't tell them. We need to elaborate a bit more on you and on what you are looking for in them. What all personality traits do they need to have? Once you have that figured picky your top few and we'll need to rewrite this.

About Me: I am the kind of guy that loves to have a GREAT time no matter where I'm at or what I am doing. I view the world as my playground, and it's tough to keep up with me. You won't see me sitting down often as I love to go out jetskiing, snorkelling, biking, hiking, trying new foods, sports and all kinds of other Adventurous stuff. I have some incredible friends that stand by my side and I'd do anything for.

(I eliminited the huge list of stuff you had because they get the idea by this point)

The type of girl I am looking for has a good send of humor and has a taste for adventure. (insert extra about what you are looking for) If you love getting out and doing things then I am definitely your type of person. Send me a message and we'll schedule our first adventure.

At the end I always call the reader to action by asking that they message me. This is very effective in any time of advertising and also in online profiles.

These tips should get you going. http://nashvilledatingcoach.blogspot.co ... ed_15.html

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey Seductivepoet,

I honestly don't know what to tell you buddy. You are seperated by a physical distance that can't be changed. Long Distance relationships are hard for this reason. There isn't much I can do to make her message you more or to give you more attention.

She might fall back into your arms in a few months or she could move on. My advise to you unless you have otherwised discussed being exclusive is to continue dating and going out. Don't limit all your options, and message her when you can. Don't get too hung up on her cause it's possible she will move on in the next few months of little contact with us.

In the mean time the only thing I can suggest is simply to message her and call her out on her actions a bit. Ask her to be honest with you about what's going on in her life and how you feel about things. It'll either work or you'll at least know where you stand on all this.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Alisterio,

If you are escalating to a date, you aren't breaking any of my rules. The #1 rule is to get her from EMAIL to IN PERSON as fast as possible. I don't really care about the in between just the results as a person. Whatever works for you my man. I hate that it didn't work out where she got back in touch, but still a good sign of interest.

I like your idea of direct approaching her for a phone number. It's obvious that she isn't online much and doesn't answer email on a regular basis. A better point of contact is going to be essential. She invited you for drinks this should be pretty easy to get at this point. Sounds like you have strong initial attraction and some basic rapport. ROCK AND ROLL!

Good luck with this one, you're on the righ track.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hello,

I am thinking that between the bird comment and the frog to prince thing was a bit much to tack on to this message. You have a pretty long email as it is. Some people are easily discouraged by a long post. Try to keep them shorter and save the other stuff for later.
Wait a bit for a response. I am wondering if we offended her with "Maybe the rooster just wanted to play ?" or something like that. This could be taken the wrong way depending on how she thinks of things. I would seriously consider messaging her and saying something like, "I haven't heard from you in a while, I hope that I haven't offended you by anything I have said in my messages. I like to joke around a lot and that is my way, sometimes it doesn't come through that way though. If this is the case I apologize. Talk to you soon...."
Sorry to hear that! Sounds like you are keeping track of what is working. Maybe what we have and use is just not best for your personality type. You might have to go your own way on some of this. You being in a different country sometimes the cultures are so different that things that work here don't work there.
I can't see your pictures on your profile so I can't answer that. There could be a big difference in the cultures for Croatian women and American or British women. I honestly couldn't speak to the differences of them in regards to online game. It's very possible that just what works there does not work here. You might have to experiment for a bit to figure out the combination.

I had to do the same thing through trial and error here in the states. I wish there was an easier way for you man. I wish you luck on your journey though.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hi,

I'm trying to completely rewrite my okcupid profile.
I'm trying to be cocky and funny, and include various fun bits that girls can talk about when they message me back - as obviously I'll be doing most of first contacts.

The profile has to follow pretty strict okcupid profile format, I wouldn't really
arrange it like that otherwise. So what do you think about this?
Is this the right style? Anything that sticks out particularly badly?

I am [overconfident], [awesome kisser], and [better than your ex].
[some cool nickname]

= My Self-Summary =
We should break up. I already packed all the stuff
you left all over my place (by the way, I lied when
I nodded that your Hello Kitty pajamas are sexy),
please pick it up at earliest convenient date.

Oh, sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself - we haven't gotten
together yet. Rewind, rewind. Hi! My name is Tomasz,
and starting next week I will be your new lover.
Perhaps boyfriend at some point. Prepare for some great times.

However, there's danger ahead - you might feel like I'm The One,
and the best thing that happened in your life, but
if you don't keep me interested I might get bored and leave.
I'm quite high maintenance - you are allowed not to be
fun once a month, and on your grandma's funeral.
More than that, and it starts counting against you.

= What I'm doing with my life =
I'm exploring what the life has to offer.
I'll probably keep exploring forever,
I react to boredom like vampires react to garlic
(not Twilight vampires obviously, but a reliable
fangirl told me I'm a better kisser than Edward,
so I don't feel threatened by this kind), and run
away. So I will like to explore what you're like,
emotionally and sexually, long before I might decide
to commit to anything.

I've been in love once, but that's long gone.
I'm more into "friends with benefits and let's see
if it goes anywhere more" kind of relationships these days.

= I'm really good at =
Biting your neck in very sensual way. Yes, there will be
marks, but you'll love it.

I'm awesome at public speaking. I try to grab every
opportunity for it, mostly in professional setting,
but I want to try amateur standup comedy someday.

= The first thing(s) people usually notice about me =
How they cannot stop themselves from laughing and
touching my ass.

= My favorite books, movies, music, and food =
It's a safe bet to say you're going to hate my taste
in music. Once I got into Dance Dance Revolution scene,
and now I totally love everything with good danceable
beat. I'll try to convince you to try the dance mat,
and you'll try to convince me to listen to your favourite
artists you love so much - let's just politely tolerate
our mismatched taste.

I love movie night marathons, and I will definitely try
to get you onto one. We'll relax together on a sofa, watching
some outrageously bad horror movies, making funny comments
and laughing about them a lot. A pre-warning - if you want
to watch the movie uninterrupted find some other company.
But then - how much fun are movies like Crossroads, and
Zombie Strippers if you cannot joke about them while you watch?
Occasionally I like good cinema too, like Fight Club,
American Beauty, and (sound of hundreds of tabs closing) Twilight.
Yes, I have a penis and I liked Twilight. Ha!

Reading is fairly solitary activity, so I shouldn't be talking
much about it, but I mostly read blogs. I also write one -
it's about kittens and technology, I'm definitely
not a kiss and tell person, so don't worry - your kinky
secrets are safe with me. I even tried my best at writing
some Harry Potter fanfiction, and yes - exactly of the kind
you're thinking.

I forgot to mention - I'm a former mild case of otaku.
I got bored with anime somewhere around Death Note,
but I might possibly get convinced to go back there.
So softcore anime girls especially welcome.

= The six things I could never do without =
Sense of humour,
Internet,
Sansa Clip (it's small as iPod shuffle so I can use it
in a gym, but has a real screen, that makes it the best
MP3 player in the world),
my laser-shooting eyes (long story),
some paper for writing random thoughts,
and you baby.

= I spend a lot of time thinking about =
Plight of children dying in Darfur.
Yeah right, whatever funny things come to my mind.

= On a typical Friday night I am =
If you seem fun enough, perhaps I might spend it with you.

= The most private thing I'm willing to admit here =
I secretly wished for BNP for win a few seats,
just so I can joke about it for the next 5 years.
British people are so touchy about it.
I'm an immigrant stealing your jobs and your women
in case you haven't figured it out yet.

= You should message me if =
You're playful, have a pretty face,
and feel up to the challenge.

J, it's 5:23AM where i am, and i can finally rest because i just finished reading through all 48 pages. Very good questions and some truly helpful and insightful answers. Thank you for doing this.. and all for FREE. Your attention to detail (not to mention patience) is incredible, no matter how basic, confusing, oft-repeated, or barely-in-english a question was, you answered it.

Towards the beginning of this thread you mentioned a guide you wrote about the basics of online dating, is this still available?

Blubaru,

Thank you for your compliments and it's amazing that you read through all 48 pages of this thread. I just try my best to help out where I can. The information I have acquired was all free to me it was just my time in researching it and putting it together.

Yes I have an Online Dating Blackbook that is like 16 pages of information that is a guide in Online Dating of sorts. You can email me at NashvilleDatingCoach@Gmail.com and I will certainly send it to you.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

So, yesterday she wrote me this:

Wha happened? I didn't hear from you after I wrote on Saturday... I hope everything is ok with you.

It's Monday (sigh).

Sara
----------
Since she claims to have not gotten my email from Saturday, I wasn't sure if I might scare away a beautiful baby by going directly for the phone contact info, so I was thinking of this :


You had a case of the Monday blues I see - part of the great things about working with 9-11 year-olds is that Monday blues last about as long as it takes them to make you laugh!

Not sure what happened this weekend - must have gotten our signals crossed (I don't really want to acknowledge the fact I sent an email and just act like it's no big deal). match.com email is not our strong suit. mr.markxxx at gmail should do the trick. I've got grad school the next three nights, but let's find one of those dive bars this weekend and get that drink

I was thinking of instead of the email "email is obviously not our strong suit - here's my telephone number..."

I was thinking I could give her both, but that might come off as needy or whatever...thanks in advance brother...

Robin the Martian,

I am glad to check this out for you and give you my opinion.
I like the idea of roleplaying and the fact that you are using some false disqualifiers and things to display confidence. I'm not sure about the line "I will be your new lover." but other than that it's a great start.
I have to stop and ask something at this point. Are you writing your profile this way because you think that is what will work in getting you women or because you are truly like this? Are you truly this confident in yourself and your abilities with women? The problem I see if we are trying to "fake it until we make it" is the issue of congruence.

The type of person to respond to something like this is going to be able to see through you very quickly. If you aren't congruent with who you advertise to be in your profile it's going to be over very fast. If you aren't that person then no big deal we'll reword this to your strengths.
I really like this part and the vampire analogy. It's good that you mention Twilight as it's very popular with a lot of people and will win you some brownie points.
You are straight forward and honest with what you want which is helpful.
You definitely accomplished your goal of coming across as cocky. There are some funny elements here and there. The problem I see here is it might be so over the top that you don't get a lot of responses on OKcupid. Many girls are on there for relationships that are a bit deeper than friends with benefits. The way you have disqualified yourself you are pushing for 9s and 10s to message you, and I can understand that.

However. again its going to be hard to know if you crossed that line from cocky funny to just plain arrogant. Online it's really easy to do because people don't see how you are they can only read it. I would post it your way for about a week and if you aren't seeing results then we should tone it back.

Jon[/i]

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Alisterio,

Again, I think you are reading the situation well. You obviously seem to have a good cold read on the situation and I share that with you. I believe the disarming and easy way to get the date is going to be to send a message like this and give her your number.

You're in the right frame of mind on this.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Mostly to say that I don't treat myself too seriously.
My FBs tell me I come across as very confident and very funny. I'm exaggerating in a profile, and my intention was that it came out as obviously not meant to be taken too seriously. I'm not sure if this "look at me I'm so sexy baby, I know you want me :-p" approach is really that great, it definitely does work with some women and comes quite naturally to me.

I think I often seem more funny than cocky, so perhaps I tried to push it too much in the cocky direction.
Well, I'm going to message girls, I know girls don't actively look for profiles much. I need to work on my messages, it seems that about half of the girls that went as far as looking at my profile messaged me back, but most didn't go that far, so the current problem is somewhere else.

I see the vibe you're getting from my profile isn't exactly what I intended it to be, so I'll try adjusting it.

Thanks again for your feedback.

This was my reply to Sara yesterday.:

Hi again...You had a case of the Monday blues I see... one of the great things about working with 9-11 year-olds is that those last about as long as it takes them to make you laugh!

Not sure what happened this weekend - must have gotten our signals crossed. Email is obviously not our strong suit here's my number 703.268.8054 I've got grad school the next two nights, but let's find one of those dive bars this weekend and get that drink-I'm ready to celebrate. Signed a contract on a house in DC today! woohoo!
------

we'll see where that goes. I just realized I didn't really give her a time when she could call me and told her I was busy the next two nights so I imagine being the hottie she is, she'll wait this out...anyway...

my real question was: I saw a post that you left (or at least I thought you left) detailing two different ways to open. One of them was something along the lines of "You probably don't even remember half the stuff you wrote..."

ring a bell? if so, where is that post? I can't find it.

Hey I have a question,

Do you wait a certain timeframe before replying to emails? I know the 3 day rule with getting numbers but what about emails? I have a blackberry so I can reply back as fast as they can send them. I usually wait at least 5 hours before replying. You think I should wait days or what?


Thanks for the help,

Spence

JSmooth / Jon (I wasn't sure which one is appropiate so I've covered all bases by going for both!),

I'm loving this thread - major kudos for taking the time out to do it.

Anyways with the very much sincere flattery over hopefully I can fire you a question you don't mind answering.

First off my name is Dom and I'm 25, English but I've just moved to Australia with my work for 3 years. Due to the fact I don't have a massive social circle over here yet, although I'm already making solid headway in that respect and its not a major concern for me, I thought I'd give internet dating a go as a simple way to (hopefully) meet some decent birds.

My main issue with the internet dating is how I come across on the profile, there after I'm not especially worried. On the picture front I'm not massively concerned as I have a professional photo of me from work and looks have never been a major issue for me plus I've got loads of other cool photos so that's fine, its just the content or more specifically who I'm after.

Half the reason I signed up for internet dating is because I'm a bit bored of meeting girls who look pretty enough but I have nothing in common with. So I thought I'd try and portray that across and was just wondering how you think I'm doing particularly whether I sound like a bit too much of a tool. So here goes

Thanks in advance

Dom

About me:

It's been proven that every human's genes are 99.9% identical, so don't even think about looking at my profile and thinking 'I don't think I've got much in common with him'; science has long since proven that's just not true.

However, if you're really concerned about that 0.1% then here's some fun facts about me:-

- I treat everyday as a schoolday and try to learn something new each day. I always try and have a hobby that involves learning to do something new I'm currently on a photography course so I can take awe-inspiring photos as I like pretending I'm a creative mind.
- Most of the time you'll probably find me reading books, listening to music or doing something music related; I've spent the last year teaching myself to play the guitar and think nothing beats a night out than the SPAM you get at a good gig.
- I try and take every opportunity available to me and keep the what could go wrong thoughts to a minimum. Because of this I've worked in 4 continents although I've had to go overseas on my own which means missing my family and friends but I've seen so many more cool things than if I was sat on the couch that I don't regret it.
- I make sure I go out on the weekends with my friends especially if there's singstar involved; I'm willing to take up any challenge out there but you'll need to bring your A game if you want to beat me at Complicated;
- I look after myself by cooking from fresh most nights (my Grandad was a baker so there's some cooking pedigree in me!) and I also play loads of soccer. I can balance the ball on my neck and take my t-shirt with the ball still there - one day this skill is going to save my life. maybe.
- I like a bit of an adventure - I've just got into scuba diving, it's really weird, quite scary but its the closest I'm ever going to get to going to another world

- And finally a pointless random fact - I've played a San Francisco police officer in a Bollywood movie.


What I'm Looking For

I've got a wide variety of friends some are really arty and cool in their interests and really into travelling, music, art and (god bless them) can be too cool for school or anything mainstream (sport, pop, crap tele) and then I've got some who just love to party, have never read a book in their life and will sit and happily sit around watching MTV all day and plenty of friends in between.

I think I fall somewhere in the middle, I try not to dismiss anything just because its either a bit weird and different or just because everybody likes it and I want to be different.

I'd like to meet someone who's the same, who's into their cultural stuff like gigs, films, going out and seeing the world, taking photos of men with 80's mullets whilst they're not looking, but who also doesn't dismiss something just because its not especially cool or if its sporty.

If you fit that bill in return I'll make you laugh or smile approximately every 7.8s, teach you how to make great pastry and introduce you to loads of cool music.

Saying that if you wear converse or floral dresses, message me anywhere as there is no accounting for good taste in my book.

P.S.

The first para came from the link below although I reworded it so noone will find it on google I think every PUA should have a read of this page to see some absolutley hilarious personals from London:-

Oooh my link doesn't work as I don't have enough posts if you do wnat to see it just say, here's my favourite:-

My last husband was a loser. If you’re not a loser please reply. Woman, 40. Incredibly simple criteria.

Alisterio,

With about 3,600 posts it rings a bell but I wouldn't know the first place to start looking. I very well may be somewhere on this thread, I'm just not sure where. After a while it all starts to blend together.

One idea though is to basically use your own opener while mentioning something that is in her profile. This is what most of the online experts say. I agree with this to a point that if you pick someone really important to her then it'll work. But how do we know what's important to her and what is something she forgot that she wrote.

Hence, why I said, "You probably don't remember half the stuff you wrote on here, but I was really intrigued when you said...." I have used this a few ways so I apologize if its not exact to what I had before. I am constantly experimenting with ways to open online.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...