I’m trying to decide how to proceed w/ this situation. Given that I’m really oblivious to a girl that is into me unless she openly admits it and it’s hard to find time to hang out.

I met this girl, girl X, at work about 2 years back and never really thought much of her. As I’ve started to get to know her, I’ve grown a liking to her (obviously). After a while of texting back and forth, about 8 months ago, I decided to call her and ask her to hang out. While asking her out on the phone I immediately get boyfriend vibes by her words & hesitation in saying yes. But she, in fact, agreed to go out.

Everything went ok but I decided to leave it alone from her hesitation earlier on the phone; even when she said she DIDN’T have a bf. We continued to text back and forth for the next few months and then I finally asked her friend from work what her deal was (boyfriend, etc. etc.). Her friend explained to me that she did in fact have a bf at the time of us going out, but she just broke up w/ him a week prior (to this particular conversation) and that maybe it’d be a good idea to ask her out again (apparently her bf cheated and treated her like crap; yada yada.. u’ve probably heard it all before)...

I waited a little for the break-up to blow over and finally asked her out again about 2 1/2 months ago. She agreed & ended up flaking, but called me to apologize and said she had a Dr Appt. (in my head I called BS and figured whatever, she probably isn’t interested as before and left it alone AGAIN). 2-3 weeks later she calls me up asking if I’d accompany her to the ballet w/ her mom and her mom’s date. Unfortunately I had to work & asked if maybe I could take her out another time; she says ok. She ends up meeting at my place for the date we had a pretty good time at a game-room/restaurant type deal with a lot of interaction. I demonstrated as much kino as I could but didn’t end up K-Closing at the end. I wanted to seem as uneager as possible and maybe leave her wanting more (possibly a mistake). When she left I asked her to call me when she gets home (never ended up inviting her in…mistake??). She ends up texting me when she got home and asked when my b’day was and if I had a gf (obviously no, duh!) and I considered these as major IOIs (??maybe??).

Since then, our schedules changed a little bit and I haven’t been able to find time to get together w/ her in the past month or two. We work almost opposite schedules now (no common days off / she works day time and I work afternoons).

What’s my play?? Will this downtime affect any attraction she has for me?? Mind you, we still text almost every other day.

Some other factors (notable info / possible IOI):

-The whole time w/ this girl I’ve been messing w/ other girls (that I don’t like as much as her, but I’m around them more than her). Plus, I act more PUA w/ girls that I DON’T like and find myself not wanting to screw up when I’m w/ the girl in question.

-My schedule is changing in July so we will both have weekends off then.

-She goes to Saturday school at 8am and I play basketball every sat morning. I joking said to her a couple weeks back: “now you can wake me up every Saturday so I can go play basketball”. She’s been texting me almost every sat at 8am making sure I’m awake since then (IOI’s ??).

-I agreed to hang out w/ another girl from work next Monday (only because she begged me and we’re friends). Should I mention this to her to gain more attraction? Or will it only hurt my chances??

-I asked her out a couple weeks ago to go bar hopping w/ me for a friends’ b’day, but she declined because she thought it would be awkward for her around a bunch of my friends for the 1st time. Is this natural??

-This girl seems to hang out w/ and talk w/ more guys than girls in her free time and it kind of makes me feel iffy at times about her actual interest in me.

Help!

it just sounds like this girls lacks confidence (possibly from her last relationship?) its alot easier for girls to win over guys because in alot of ways we're much less judgemental that girls are (key word: alot, not all). i remember a great line from the game where style talks about girls dressing up to impress other girls; guys already have their imaginations. perhaps she is a victem of ugly duckling syndrome? not all girls are like that (think the confident tom boy type) but im simply adding that to her not wanting to go out with all your friends.

i'd almost say thats a fair assumption. When I first met her she was extremely shy and i'd say in the last year or so she's started to look really really beautiful than before.

Everytime i'd ask to pick her up she always insisted on meeting me at my place or the place of the meeting. But i know she mentioned approximately where she lives and I know its in a bad neighborhood. Could that have any effect??

Any other ideas/comments/thoughts?

if its really a sketchy neighborhood, of course it could..kinda like how in high school i didnt want my gf coming around if my parents were around or my room was messy. she might not want you to think less of her, or not come around again. once you build up enough trust and confidence i dont think she'll have anymore qualms about you visiting her.

on the other questions....YES you should have invited her in, but without sexual overtones and a time constraint (i have to get up early tomorrow morning but I wanna show you the new kitten pictures...some bs like that) and most of those do sound like IOIs. im just an rAFC so i cant tell you exactly what to do to get this girl, sorry man, other than make sure you dont get into the friend zone; take her out with a solid group some time, just dont buy her dinner, and use all the routines throughout this forum...demonstrate value, CF, kino etc. do a lot of push and pull and see how she reacts

*and write back here a detailed summary of the night for critique and suggestions

I think the fact your still talking and texting or whatever after 8 months is a pretty good sign bud. She obviously thinks your worth the wait. I could be wrong (someone flag me if I am) but I dont think men and women would be calling/texting eachother every other day for that long (especially with some breaks) if they wanted to be just mates. Shes into you. I think you were right to leave it a couple of weeks. I think subconciously you were testing her, to see if she would make the effort to get back in contact with you again. She passed the test. Like someone else said, from the little I know about her, I can kind of get the vibe that shes not the most confident of girls or definatly not the most forth- right. I do think that even she will have a time limit on her though, kind of like when she thinks to herself, is anything going to happen?

You've waited for too long my friend. Go and get your lady

no offense, but lots of guys have friends that are girls that they call or text on a daily basis

that being said, go get em tiger

Haha yeah I suppose! Well Im a newbie to all of this so happy to be corrected

But yeah I think this guys situation is pretty positive, think shes there for the taking!

Update:

So the above referenced HB's friend has just let me know that the HB has gotten back w/ her abusive ex-bf!! While I do talk to her friend, the HB does not know that I knew she was in this relationship previously and doesnt know that I now know that she has gotten back w/ him. The HB's friend also does not approve of her going back w/ him.

Is it game over? or should I still proceed w/ trying to PU this HB?

My only reasoning to proceed is that I don't think she would ever tell me about the bf. She didnt before when we first starting hanging out and never mentioned it throughout her relationship or the original break-up.

Is there any way to go about this? ps. I still talk to plenty of HB 6-7's in the process so its not the end of the world for me

I say go caveman style on this. Invite her to come watch a movie and just kiss her. No nervous waiting for the right moment AFC stuff, as soon as you see her i would just go in for the kill. If i'm wrong what's the worst that can happen?