Hi Jon,

There was a discussion earlier about messaging girls older than you and you said that sometimes you just can't help it if they aren't interested in younger guys.

Since I'm only 21, I've got a ton of girls on my dating site which are older and I'm aiming at them, but I've bombed out several times both with cocky funny approach (busting her balls about something but in a playful way) and with a more serious, direct approach.

What approach do you recommend and is there any way to create attraction through the age barrier ?

Also, regarding your "direct" opener... won't the girl just see it as boring and not even check out your profile ? Happened to me... :S

I know you like in field examples so here it goes :

24 year old girl, smart, 8 by looks, likes art and does journalism, says she will delete short and boring messages

My opener:

Hej... Miss Pulitzer

Interesting... you write pretty mature, even attractive... for a person of our age

There is a thing about you I find intriguing

BUT

I have to ask you, when you say you are a PASSIONATE artist

Do you refer to solving a couple of crosswords and personality tests in Cosmo while you're skipping classes...

Or is there something more to it ?

Kiss for future Miss Pulitzer

Result : Didn't check my profile, no reply, 2 days


Another one: 24 year old, 10, looking for a normal, serious person to settle down with

I wrote something like... I admire your sense of values BUT... although I know you're probably disgusted by the amount of shallow and perverse messages you're getting... I'll still need you to smile more if we're going to hang out... Will you be able to do that ) ?

Result : Checked my pictures only, no reply

There are couple of more of those, but you get the picture.

Am I blowing up because of stupid openers or immature pictures or is it just their :"I don't want a younger guy" decision ?

Avber,

I can't really tell you anything that you don't already know about. Basically, the problem could be they don't like younger men. Maybe they don't like that you are negging them in your opener. I really can't tell. The problem with being online is it is a numbers game regardless of the spin we put on it. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

All we can do is keep pushing what gets us better results and ditch the rest. My opener mostly works for my personality type. Some people do best with direct openers and some do better with being a little more indirect and commenting on something in their profile. Bottom line is if you make an effort, and she likes you then she will respond.

Sounds like you are doing the best you can do, just take it in stride, and don't forget to keep working in field. Don't just rely on online stuff!

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey J

I was wondering if you could help me write a short DHV story for POF
I want to put this story on my porfile under First Date section, I have this
idea of a Bonnie and Clyde type of thing where i would say
"we would Steal a Brinks truck take it to the bank,
Rob the bank then perform a heist at a Casino and ride off in the sunset like Bonnie & Clyde"
My idea is not to sound criminal but just fun exciting
amazing badboyish n a little Crazy.
please help where you can and also lemme know if im
on the right track or WAY OFF with this idea.

Slayerz,

I can see where you are going with this and it sounds really fun, at the same time being playful. I like people who have a good imagination and can insert people into roleplaying which is a good method for building rapport with people. Also this just sounds pretty cool. It's standing out and being a little different like this that will help catch the girls eye.

I am completely free writing this so take it for what you want, but what about something like....

"Hello Bonnie, I'm Clyde! I think you and I can make history together. Let's have some FUN and knock off a armored car. You know I'm an adventurist like that. I'll trust you to be my getaway driver if you trust my leadership skills while I take the bank.

We will get away clean because of our perfect planning and head south. I know we will roll around in all the money we took. I can see us relaxing on a beach, drinking something fruity while just taking it easy. You'll have to help me keep the other girls away, because you know everyone loves a bad boy.

I figure we'll hide out there until the heat dies down and we go to Vegas to satisfy your shopping needs and my gambling habits. We'll be high rollers in the coolest hotels throwing money around and living the life! Just send me an email and we'll get started planning the heist..."

Hope that is what you had in mind and helps. You are DHV yourself in this to be an adventurist, leader, preselected, and of course a badboy type image, but at the same time being creative.

Great Idea

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

OMG!!!!!!!!

u took the little i gave you and turned it into some BADASS Movie trailer
dude ur truly gifted!! Can i use this??
Im still in shock! Thanks so much

Thanks again for this thread, i think youre doin a great job!

Heres the question. I've been into this online dating for a while, but not when it comes to Adult online sarging.
The site i've joined is all related to meeting discretly for sex and nothing more eventually (most of them).
The thing is i cant think of an opener that suites this kind of sites. I cant just open with: Hey, you look good! Wanna fuck?
But anyway i wanna open with something not to needy in a sexual way that creates attention i a playfull way or something.

Do you have any good openers or tips to this kind of dating sites?

Do you have any pointers for me, Mr. Smooth?

The board wouldn't let me post a link, so here goes copy paste:

Hey J sorry this might be kinda long but....

it seems nothing im doing is working on pof, when i write my own messages ive
found that the women read and delete, but when i put: "your an attractive girl, but beauty is common, what else do you have going for you other than your looks?" they read it but no response..now ive read that you said dont contact those prospects till a week later to not show needyness, should that be my next move followed by "playing hard to get already"?

also the about me that i wrote is more of things that i love to do and how i like to be treated not much of a Dhv ill post it hopefully u can point out some flaws thats preventing them from writing back. my photos i think are pretty great filled with me and women, me zipling, and in tropical locations. if this doesnt work im not sure wat else to do.

About me: I love to have a GREAT time no matter what im doing, to understand me you MUST have a sense of humor and a taste for adventure after all the world is my playground so if you think you can keep up you know what to do.

I LOVE Jetskiing, swimming in clear blue waters, snorkelling, biking, hiking, trying different foods, dancing, late night cruisin, rock climbing, basketball, softball, tennis, watching movies, UFC, jerk chicken and my INCREDIBLE friends who stand by my side and sparkplug my life =)

Am I missing something???

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Hey guys kinda new to this forum, actually this will be my first post. Im knew to this whole art form, luckily for me I already have some of the charecteristics of PUA, like good confidence and ice breakers and im not to desperate for girls which makes me somewhat of a challenge. Having said that I couple of months back i met this HB 8, who i think is a very smart and knowledgeable girl. I kinda gamed her C&F and then comforted her, I didnt pursue just kinda kept nudging we kissed and made out after our 3rd meeting and she told she has never felt so comfortable so quick with someone. She said she likes me and im sweet. We both were in college and now the semester has ended and she has gone home (international student) for the summer wont be back till August, we exchange msgs on facebook every 3 or 4 days, but sometimes she just doesnt reply, I act like i dont care and dont push the issue.
She does mention that she misses me and wishes that I was there and I just respond I feel the same way but never too excitedly.

Now here is the problem, I see her online on Facebook and wait for her to send me an IM on facebook but she never does she just goes offline, and i never try to msg because I wanna be a challenge and consider that im a good catch for her. So im confused because on one hand she messages me and tells me that she misses me and on the other hand she is online and never messages me, sometimes out of the blue she will text me and then....nothing for days.

I am confused as to how to handle this situation because I really seem to like her and cant wait to see her back next semester to game her in for sure, but still wanna keep some interest alive so that the restart wud be better. Also, how should I communicate with her online while she is gone???

I wud appreciate some advice since u guys are so much more experienced than me,
poet

Jsmooth...thanks in advance for putting all this time in...

This chick I've had a little contact with is a real cutie - this was my opener:

your profile is interesting - if you'd like to move into the realm of searching for emotional and / or intellectual compatibilty then...

She wrote back:
Thank you for your email. I decided to go ahead and clicked on your profile to make sure hadn't posted pictures... and there they were! Not that pictures are everything, but no picture can be something...

What do you teach? What age? And if it's everything, what are three things in the lot? What is your tattoo of?

I would love to find emotional and intellectual compatibility... very much. You have caught me at a match-weary point (just a comment) but I am open to the wonderful possibilities:-)

I answered her: Hi Sara!
you know, those two compatibilities are the most difficult of all compatibilities to come by ... Three things I teach: French, how to be a kind person (takes guts), and math. It is a French immersion program and I teach the French side to 4th and 5th graders...My tattoo is an angel. Did I miss anything? where did you live overseas? where did you work in the peace corps? (maybe those two answers are the same?) How awesome was the peace corps? Hope you had a fabulous day!

She didn't respond so three days later, I wrote:

Just a refresher for you: I write one, you write one, I write one, etc...

She wrote back: I am so sorry. It's been an "adjustment week" for me (that's what I have decided to title it, anyway) -- with a new job, new hours, and email issues. I am about to head out for a baby shower for the next few hours, but is there any chance you would be free to meet for a drink later today?

When I told her that I could probably make that happen in a response, she never got back in touch.

Q1: How am I doing? How many rules have I broken so far...
Q2: What next? I was thinking: "Hey, I'm really going to have to stay on top of you to make this work aren't I haha email is obviously not your strong suit, so here's my tel. number. Let's find a good dive bar and get that drink! (she said she loves dive bars in her profile)

After a terrible streak with both direct and C&F openers, I actually got one warm response, saying how it was the cutest thing she ever got. I followed up, she replied, with more IOI's.

(We talked about her passion for playing music, her fear of birds and insomnia)

Then I followed up with this:

Haha, the two us are the exact opposite. I sleep like a baby

I had the same dilemma when I was 9, should I play a musical instrument in the local orchestra or not, but I was love with basketball, so when I didn't study (and I studied a lot) I played ball with the older kids. I dreamed of being the captain of the Croatian national team and beating USA . While I was returning home, I saw the local orchestra playing at a wedding so I remembered you .

What was your favorite experience from your travels with the orchestra ? (I know you had a TON, and I sometimes envy my local orchestra because they saw America, and I never didn't )

Maybe the rooster just wanted to play ? Btw, did you ever think that if you write you don't like birds in your profile, none of those guys who'd like you to watch over their goose or feed their chickens will contact you. You're losing a lot of interesting people to talk to .

Perhaps you won't believe me, but it's not bad being a frog, those flies taste like chicken

You don't read fairtytales missy ? It's always about a princess

(I used a part of the princess opener and she asked me who turned me back from a frog)...

My question is...

Am I just trying too hard and thus becoming creepy ? My profile is rather long too, it's funny and optimistic but long... and everytime I start sending longer and funnier messages I don't get a reply so am I really creeping those girls out ?

This one was obviously giving me IOI's but something went wrong... Could you give me some advice how to get her talking to me again, what approach should I use not to act needy or weird ?

It's not that I'm relying solely on the Internet but... I've tried busting girls' balls in the first message, tried canned openers, tried your direct openers. 40% of them just ignore the message, 30% look at my pictures and ignore the message, 10% look at my entire profile and ignore the message, and those 20% that actually reply are all cold, one sentence responses which I tried expanding like you and other PUA's suggested, but it's like they just want to get rid of me and whatever I say, I hit a wall. This was the only one which was actually interested in talking and now I hit a wall again.

Sorry if I'm whiny but I've read through all the PUA stuff about online sarging and I understand it's a numbers game, but I've already used like 50% of women on the site with zero success. It's really become depressing

Am I screwing somewhere up with my pictures, with a too good profile or is it possible that all of these openers just don't work in Croatia and I end up looking like a needy weirdo ?

Slayerz,

Of course you can use this! I am glad that you like what I wrote, and truly hope that it helps you out man.

Jon

_________________
Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Caine,

Thank you.

This is a good question, and one I have thought of before but didn't come up with any conclusions since I didn't get on those sites much. Now that I need to think about it I'm just going to brain storm as I go a bit.

One idea that immediately comes to mind would be a role play type of response. Something where you basically launch her into roleplaying with your message. I might say, "I walk in your door wearing.....see you in the red cocktail dress making eyes at me. I charge over to you pinning you against the wall and kissing you. You don't want to escape my grip on you as I passionately kiss your neck making your body squirm..." This is just an example but you get the idea here.

The other thing I can think of is just being ultra direct. Instead of softening it up by putting the stuff in a role play flat out tell her what you want and what you are going to do to her "if and when" so to speak.

I am not really sure what else to suggest at this point without having field tested other stuff.

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Mac Dreezy,

Thank for posting I have a few things I think that can help you, but I'll tell you right now I don't teach guys how to just get laid. If that's what you end up using what I teach you for I can't controll that but I won't answer questions directly about it. It's a moral issue with myself, and it's kind of the cat calling the kettle black but I have to draw the line somewhere. With statements like...
This is why I say this...Anyways, with all that out of the way let's get to the meat of some of your questions. You are primarily using Facebook to meet and attract women online. I would highly recommend you checking out Whoopies thread in the Online Section that is dedicated to Facebook. I do more with dating sites than networking type websites. Whoopie's approach is very good and is good at yielding results.

When deciding between using in field or facebook always choose in person. Facebook is one of the coldest approaches you can have if you don't know someone already. Even so if you have a good contact like a number why regress back to talking online, call her up!

You asked if there were some smooth lines to get phone numbers. The answer is it really doesn't matter how you ask for her number. What does matter is before you ask is that she is comfortable with you. I mean she feels a "real" connection with you and knows you are "safe." Online typically I need anywhere from 30 min to a few hours of talking online to get the amount of comfort for her to easily give me the digits.

The thing about it is this. I can get numbers quicker if I wanted to. The problem is most of them will flake out or not convert to dates without a good amount of comfort built. She has to know she can hang with you and it not be weird, she has to know that you are safe to be around.

Hope that answers most of your questions,

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...