Whassup guys. I'm new to the whole gaming thing, but I understand the most basic of principles - even though I am not at the level of being able to utilize them all consistently.

I met a girl through work about half a year ago. We don't work together in the same office, but we often have to do business together. I guess you could say I am higher in terms of job positions, but not sure if that is all that relevant.

The first night I met her was at a work function and seeing as we were the only folks there of a similar age, we spent the whole night chatting shit and having a laugh. There were, in retrospect, definite IOIs there, but when I walked her home, I had the whole 'we work together' thing at the back of my mind and didn't make a move: I was thinking "Is she just being nice because she needs to be?", "What if I tried to K-close and had misread it then everybody in my professional life thinks I'm some sort of sleaze?"...

Anyway, we have kept in touch and have been out together a fair few times since then. I'd say we maybe go out as a group (her friends plus my friends - even though we are the only common bond) once or twice a month, but we speak on work e-mail every other day pretty much.

Last night she came round to mine with some friends and we had some drinks then went out. Even though there were loads of us in the club, we ended up staying together the whole night. But the thing is, there has never been any kino at all and it seems a little awkward to force it. Likewise, because of how we started out (ie professionally) there has never been any kind of relationship/dating/sex chat. For the record, for the first three or four times we went out she had a boyfriend, but 1) he never came with her when she was meeting me, and 2) she never mentioned him ever - I only knew he existed because her friend mentioned it in passing to my friend. Coincedence? I don't know.

The lack of kino thing is an issue in the club because usually I can escalate through dancing, but holding her hands would seem really out of place I think. Maybe I am imagining it, but it just doesn't seem natural.

Anyway, at the end of the night, I walked her home again and we had a hug and said our goodbyes. That was when I should have gone for it obviously and I was ready, but it never happened. As we separated from the hug, we just ended up kind of saying goodbye. I even (lamely) had a second hug after speaking for a bit longer and held the hug to try and gauge where we were, but still no window to kiss. As I pulled back to look her in the eye, she pulled back too and, quick as you like, we were disentangled. It wasn't like she was pulling away, but she wasn't lingering in. Maybe I need to work on my hugging technique - any tips?

I thought maybe I'd fucked it, but she has since text (just general text saying she was hungover) and I have replied. I go on holiday next week and want to get it out before I go as that way there is time for shit to settle if it hits the fans and if it goes well, then we can build some tension through e-mail.

How should I go about escalating this bearing in mind there is no - comfortable - kino? How should I make it known where I stand before I go on vacation?

Your help is greatly appreciated as I seek some solution.
SCQ

It looks like she sees you guys as friends, she probably has a thing or she probably doesn't. You can directly ask her that only if you know for 100% that she's interested in you for certain (or you wouldn't write it in here)

You've mentioned you've had some laughs over drinks and outing; were you cocky and funny? Did you flirt? Odds are that you didn't cause you said you started off professionally.
The best way to know if a girl is interested in you is by kino check and body language, try and get into her comfort zone and when you know you're in it, go kiss her! It can be invariably awkward if you were too formal a gentleman for the escalation.

A kiss can work without kino and escalation (like they picture it in the movies ) only if there's a downright mutual attraction.

The only thing you could do now is to gradually start teasing her on her job subject, act a little cocky, have fun, pat her on the back when you compliment her (don't compliment her too often - its ok for once/twice) let your arms brush, bump her on her shoulders when she says something and you didn't find it funny, put your arms around her shoulders for a few seconds and see if she objects or stays stiff (if not, then you know you can proceed with a dragged kino)... Chances are that she'd pat/touch you on the back to show you something or like that.

Well, the above is just an depiction on how it would work very naturally. When you still see a lot of IOIs coming it means she likes you

Beware: If she liked you and you were too much of a Goody Goody guy who's scared to death to touch her, strong chances are that she'll LJBF you!

You are obviously in a tricky situation having to maintain a professional relationship with her. So that you aren't seen as a sleaze, you need her to chase you.

If you are getting IOIs, even subtle ones, then this should work. Just smile easily and say something like 'It's just as well we work together, otherwise you would so be in trouble around me'.

You propose the idea, and then take it away. You are creating a fake barrier for her to overcome. And if she is interested, she will plough straight through it, and start making excuses about why you should be together.

Hattip: This isn't my theory, I read a longer, more lucid post on it somewhere recently, but I'm not sure where. If I find it I will let you know.

Blisterinheat: Thanks dude. I like your style.

We went out again tonight for drinks and I made a move to try and k-close at the end of the night. It didn't quite come off (basically I got a short kiss on the lips, but that was it) but I still went to bed happy. I at least grabbed my balls and tried and that is surely a good step. The fear and anxiety is so much worse than the actual reality. It's actually quite inspirational.

I will keep you posted on how this progresses.
Thanks again, man.