Tony T (Sarge School) and myself went out for a beer locally on Monday.

We started off in a pretty cool little bar that I had never been to which had a 2 for 1 on cocktails and was playing rock music from the 80s and 90s which made a nice change. Considering it was a Monday night the bar actually started to fill up with a number of females and even though the plan wasn’t to go out sarging, the sight of cleavage seemed to flick the PUA switch inside us to the on position.

TT went off to the gents and I noticed a 3 set of young chav guys with the tallest one looking like he was psyching himself up for something and I quickly realised he was preparing himself to make a play for two blondes sitting on the sofa at the other end of the bar (who I’d noticed had been looking over at us earlier). My wingman comes back and I point out this pending chav approach and we both watch on with interest as the guy struts over there with some confidence. To his credit he must of stayed in set for about 3-4 mins before literally doing star jumps and rolly pollies all the way back to his mates (ok, slight exaggeration but the guy seemed jublilant that some fairly attractive young girls showed some interest in him). He had his mobile in his hand and was suggesting a number close to his disciples. Wow good work – or was it? A few minutes later TT suggested we go over to the girls and find out what actually happened.

So I opened by asking if they could make us feel like the previous guy who approached them as we noticed him leaving them doing cartwheels and dancing all the way back to his mates. They laughed and then informed us that he had come over giving them a routine about how he is in the army and asked them where they were off too next and could he have their number. They told him they weren’t going anywhere after and that no he couldn’t get a number. So the guys reaction to his mates was for show! We stayed in set for a few minutes and left them on a high.

Then came the highlight of the evening:
So we walked into Weatherspoons and quickly realized there weren’t too many options, just a few scraps here and there and an ok’ish barmaid but TT did notice a couple of girls, on their way outside for a cigarette....

He then had the genius idea to dress himself in all the clothes they had left behind at their table! So, with me spurring him on, there he was quickly putting the jacket on, followed by the scarf, followed by the gloves – he then sat down at their table waiting for them to return and started reading their paper as if nothing was unusual. I was sitting at the table next to him trying not to piss myself with laughter.

So, after what seemed like an eternity the girls came in through the entrance and headed towards the table. TT’s back was to them so I gave him a heads up and told him it was showtime and we are both anticipating their reaction hoping it wasn’t going to be hostile and that they would see the funny side of it. The girls reach the table but continue walking past and sit down at the other end of the pub! So who’s clothes was TT wearing then??

To his right there were two chavs at the fruit machine looking over at him in a pissed off manner which is when the penny dropped – they weren’t girls clothes he was wearing, they were chavs getup!
TT noticed the anger building in their faces and quickly acted to diffuse the potential volatile clash. “let me explain....” he said whilst we were both trying not to piss ourselves laughing. He then went on to explain what we were upto and somehow managed to avoid an unsightly confrontation.

After this I noticed a 3 set of girls tucked away in the corner so pointed them out to TT and I went in for the opener. I decided to use a relationship opener which then setup a nice opening for my wing to come in. We stayed in the set for about 10 mins before I made the call to eject. They were very young and it was hard work making a decent connection even though they seemed to enjoy our attention. However always good practice.

The final act was my going for the number close of the young barmaid. TT and I were toying with her earlier on in the evening and thought I’d attempt the close. She had only been working there for a few days and her hawk eye boss (who looked about 12) did not like her talking to us....

Anyway, told her we should hook up and to give me her number then her fucking boss steps in and says “she’s not allowed to give her number out”. She then whispers to come back next week and she’ll give it to me then.

In summary an entertaining evening and considering the plan was to go out and just have one beer,we got some good practice in and put a few smiles on the local talent’s faces.

~gravitas~

Dude, you missed out LOADS of mischief we got up to...
We opened EVERY set in the cocktail bar. And the set in the pub was a 7 set, I think. Fun and busy evening....
Nice write up

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Sarge School Instructor