Hi All,

I desperately need help, as there is one girl on the Planet Earth who drives me crazy. I lost my sleep, appetite, i am missing work, i am miserable and very tired of playing mind games. Please help.
FYI, I am 33yo Cacausian and had as many female playmates as hairs on my head, playing them the way I alwyas wanted. What happened to me now I do not know. Cant handle this "horse" Please please please help either (or better both):
a) Erase her from my mind
b) Make her want me

Details:
She is gorgeous 27yo girl. I met her at work and took my risk to escalate the relationship from being nice and sweet to the next level. I knew she was separated from her husband with one 3yo child living with her. I am going through divorce myself, however at work everyone knows that I am a married guy and everything is fine in my family life. She was under the same impression. I had to disclose the fact I am separated as she was hesitating to deal with me. We work under the same roof in a big company but almost do not interact with me on daily base.

Within next 1 month I had 5 dates with her and on three ocassions have had very bright and colourfull sex with her enjoying the games and the act for many hours. I gave her the best I could and I am under the impression she liked it very much. She always were meeting me very very late (past midnight) when the kid was with her mother reasoning such lateness by having family members coming for a visit, some family problems, being busy with sister in law, etc.

One day she suddenly sent me a message asking me to stop sending her any messages. A day later she called explaining that she is coming back to her husband in an attempt to reconcile. While she did not like the idea of coming back, according to her she was forced by the family members to do so for the best interest of the child. She was asking me what we going to do and my answer was that we have to cease the relationship as I am not intending to ruin her family life and wellbeing of the kid. She silently agreed and we end the conversation with the mutual inderstanding that "we are done here"

At work she was giving me sweet looks and smiles. I felt like she wants to see me and talk to me. I was ignoring but remained friendly. She initiated "Miss you very much" messages type and I was replying. We've had two phone conversations in one of which she stated "That I would like to be good wife for the family and good mother for the kid, but willing to be a bad girl for myself at least once in a while" One day I ve sent an message asking her to meet and she answered "I will call you for that" So, she is the one who is dealing cards. I said to myself - fair enough, she is busy, family, has to cover her ass I wont insist being passive waiting for her to contact me first.

That was the relationship we've had for the last few weeks. However last week she missed few days from work and I saw on MSN that she was in touch/having chats with another guy from her previous job. I had an apportunity later in a very sleek manner to tell that I miss our MSN chats and she replied that she is not being on MSN as she is busy with the kid and family. So, she lied and this is the fact. The worst part is that the day we\ve had this conversation that we have to severe relationship is just one day far from the day when she connected and started to MSN chat with this dude from her previous job.

The most recent events"
MON/TUE - I was not at work and was receiving SMS from her how she misses me asking when she is going to see me.
WED - She was sending crazy messages to me how she misses me. She was giving smiles and innocent looks along with few compliments. I've sent few sweet messages back and have to admit that they were a bit desperate
THUR- I took the lead telling her to show up at XX time at XXplace. She immediately replied excusing herself for not being able to come but came up with the willingness to see me on SAT. I agreed and replied with the exact address where she would have to show up to see me. I was under the impression we have a deal.
FRI - At work - almost no interaction. No messages. I already knew she is going to flake on this date. Later FRI evening - I am getting a nicely worded message with no excuses/rescheduling that due to the family problems we wont have a date on SAT. My reply" Sorry to hear that hopefully nothing serious. Take care"

SAT - Today - I am desperate and miserable. I have holes to fill, but I want hers.

I do not understand wither she is sincerely having family difficulties and thus being unable to meet me or she fooling around with another guy(s) keeping me as plan B and being smart not to offend me directly as we work in the same company.

My mind cant think clearly. Please help.

First off I got to say that this lady is playing u big time, seems u gave her the opportunity to play the leading role and accept her flaking on you. in actual fact I believe she playing tricks with your mind.

If I were u;

1. I will stop being over sweet to her
2. Neg her.
3. Do not accept if she try's to reschedule an appointment with u. let her know u got other things to do as well.
4. Take some time to reply to her messages.
5. Make an appointment and flake on her.
6. Don't schedule an appointment more than 5 hours ahead.

Goodluck buddy.

Yes, I guess she does play me. My EGO can't let it go Too bad English is not my native language to play her the way I want.

What would be my answer (if any) after she flaked on me the way I explained above? Remain positive and charming without saying a word when I see her? How can I "poke" her on that?

If u fixed a date with her and she flaked on u, u could say(with a charming smile).

" Look, when I fixed a date with someone and he/she flaked on me, I let them fix the next date, so call me when u fix the next date if I'm free I would'nt say no"

Just act as if its not a big deal, if u run into her just talk about neutral subject, act as if u've gotten over her and into more interesting things better than her.
Use the time constraint to get off the phone with her, the bottom line is let her know u are busy.

if she send u sweet and seductive messages, reply with " wow, I wonder when u gonna match up your talk with action, I guess when we are 66, right?"(challenge).

If she fix a date days or more than 24hours ahead tell her u can't make it ( give her some social excuses like meeting up with friends, party, dinner with a female friend etc to create some jealousy) and decide when u feel u have the time to meet her and must be less than 24hrs.

Goodluck pal.

One thing to add to all that, always be doing something interesting/great whenever you phone/text her. "Hey, I'm getting a massage and I'll be done in a couple of hours. I'll call you when I'm done." ~ than mabey call after 5 hours.
When she sets the appointment, bump it ahead or behind an hour or two because your gonna be doing something interesting without her and you need to schedule her around your life. She is gaming you SPAM. She's treating you as an AFC because you are letting her. She snaps her fingers and you jump. If you're really interested in this girl, get busier and busier as time passes. Show her that you are growing away from her and truely be prepared to walk. You may find out that you want to walk if you really do all the interesting stuff. She MAY some running back and if not, cut her loose. She might have problems with the hubby in three months (she left him once) and call you, then run your best game. Don't let her get the upper hand or I'd bet money you'll run into these same problems again.
Truthfully, it would be a lot less work to go find another HB and start all over. I know your nuts over her, but I think you've got to cut her loose either to win her over or move on. Good luck with all that.

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Just looking to improve...always looking to improve...

Thanks guys, really appreciate your words...This helps my mind stay sharp and clear. I am completely fkkked up by this girl

Funny thing I did 78 of them since 18 of them and barely had any troubles playing, but guess this one is a true player. How come I am so weak I do not know

Thinkin to get it another shout on tomorrow, after she flaked on me today. Bad ass - no excuses, no rescheduling - she drives me nuts....

I am dead serious few days ago I've started to take pills to keep me calmed down...Giving up I think is not an option. I wanna make her nothing but #78

Well, its mid day Sunday, no communication from her. Just logged on MSN and saw her sitting there under "INVISIBLE STEALTH" option for me assuming I do not see that she is "INVISIBLE" for me

As soon as I signed IN, few seconds later she SIGNED OUT... Dont know how I am gonna look at her tomorrow at work... Tough to hide emotions on my face

Today (still Sunday)

SHE: Hey how are u. Miss u right now so much. Hope to c u tmorrow.
ME: Who is this?
SHE did NOT reply having plenty of time to do so.

TOMORROW SHE: Knowing her she will approach 99% in some way to inquire about this weird message received from my phone as a reply to her message.
TOMORROW ME: Never got any messages from you Sunday.
TOMORROW SHE: Will try to clarify the issue
TOMORROW ME: Same position - did not get any messages from you Sunday.
TOMORROW SHE will have to crank her brain as of what the heck is all this and who was a person replied her with "Who is this?" message if it was not me.

Too obvious????

massive case of one-itis, move on and go after someone else

well you obviously want option b) so lets think about that first: she has a child so to have her as your partner you would have to play daddy for that kid - given she lets you. there is no other way. BUT id recomment not doing that because if shes fuckin TWO guys aside from her broken on and off relationship then it simply isnt possible to have one with that woman.
go for a) think of her as a slut, realize that there is just no way this could work out.

massive case of one itis.
don´´t go anywhere near her if possible.
go out and sarge other hotties.

No woman has a right to make you lose your sleep or well being for her.

No way, don´t go there, dont do it.

Press eject button. This type of syndrome can really screw your head up.

Just sarge other babes and you will be fine. ok??

Just my two cents.

Appreciate your words. After your inspirations and some gold stuff from this web site in 2 days I make her miserable needy girl seeking my attention and answering my txt within minutes.

As of now again ball in her court and she is once again having diffuculties to handle my tight text. I followed the advices above and did neg her, delayed replying, not seeking visuals and most importantly showing me chatting with other hotties at work. Same time I am Mr, Charm & Mr. Busy and guess she is under the impression I've got some other chicks around me outside work (dont think this is very good). Just gotta be careful not to OVERplay and leave some room for sweet text She keeps sending me BS like she misses me/thinking about me, blah blah blah.

2 Questions left so far:

1. While we did well by putting her down to earth and raising my value, still how do I get her surely into the bed for the weekend?
2. Guideline/borderline not to overplay and not get her pissed - as we work together and I obviously like to keep my paycheque coming

First of all, I dont understand the reason you worked yourself in the situation being played by her. After all, you f*cked her multiple times. Taking back control should be easy for you. Don't be needy, do not always answer her msg's and phone immediately, keep negging but be careful not to overplay. Most important, make sure she gets the impression that you are gaming other women as well, again do not overplay. Make yourself appear busy.

As far as the weekend is concerned, given the fact that she sends all these sweet msg's, you may go for it. Make sure that you are not available to her on both Friday and Saturday. Propose a day and time and if she takes the bait, cool. Otherwise, you shouldn't bother to invite her the next day when she is available. Leave it for the next weekend or another time. Setting yourself the goal to f*ck her on particular moment makes you appear needy. So just play it cool and try to get her doing a bit of more work. More fun for you and surprisingly enough it increases the odds of f*cking her again.

Here it goes:

Yesterday night she sent me an email saying howshe misses me and looking forward to chill with me this weekend. I replied with the delay how busy am I and while I would like to see her I already made plans for the weekend. I said that I might be able to "sqeeze" her in my weekend but no clear answer/time.

So she came up with the several time windows to let me choose. I did not reply yet. She also mentioned that she is going to see her family (she is from Brazil) and before going for two weeks she would like "to get it all in advance"

So, either again she shit-testing me or I am up to a sweet weekend. Have no balls to flake on her

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81 and keep counting!

Several time windows for you to choose? If she has specifically mentioned a few particular days and time for you to choose, great! You should choose the one that suits you best. Apparently, you were baiting her and she seems to take the bait. So, that's great for you.

She will keep shit testing you, you just need to game her back until she becomes a good girl. Stick to your game and don't get too emotional or too excited. Keep cool and keep control, no matter what. Even you don't see her before she takes of to Brazil, she will be back and knowing you are that unneedy guy who f*c*d her and who is not prepared to take her crap. Big chance she will be doing her best to set up a date with, not the other way around.

You mention that you two phone-txt-msg and hang on MSN Messenger on a regular basis. When phone messaging, make sure to cut her away after 1-2 messages. When she again sends a message, don't reply when there is not a specific question that she is asking. If she asks a specific question, reply with a 2-5 hour delay. As far as you are concerned, do not ask a lot of questions, rather tease her a little bit. Keep her in anticipation. If she takes the bait she will be trying to keep the phone game going. This leads naturally into a date! When on Messenger, make sure to take off first; you end the conversation, not her.

And relieve yourself a little bit by gaming some other women. This will allow for a better game with this Brazil lady.