ONLINE DATING QUESTION ~ ASK J SMOOTH!!!



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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 1:05 am 
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I'm interested in your opinion on this

one thing I noticed recently with openers that are less canned and more personalised is writing two separate parts. the first one is related to the reason why you're sending a message. the second is something completely random and off the wall like "but I gotta know what's your favourite sandwich filling?"

for some reason I don't know exactly why, they'll frequently ignore the first bit and respond to the second but they've obviously read the first line and its gone in their head. It's like a free pass to their subconscious to set up an ideal about yourself!
Browolf,

I see your point with what you are saying. Most of the time the "reason" why you are sending the message is ignored. For me personally I don't like indirect game online such as "what is your favorite sandwich filling?" I mean all your actions from messaging a girl shows you are interested, so why bullshit and try to go indirect. But that is my personal view on the matter.

Some use and like indirect game online and that's ok. Again, I do agree with what you are saying that a lot of things girls naturally agree to subconciously allow you to get in their heads.

Jon

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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 4:46 pm 
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Website: http://www.online4love.com
aff sucks, to many fakes. try some alternatives


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 5:40 pm 
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ok, so i thought i would post my latest online sarge for review because the last couple went south as i was unable to sustain and communication died out.

the hb profile was pretty bland and didn't really say much other than she is a hair stylist and likes sports. the vibe i get from her is kind of acts young for her age 27 but with a 23 year olds personality which is good to me.

please critique and be honest.

h00: Do you do the booth rental thing or are you a staff/commission hair stylist? You could say I know a couple of stylists or hair artists as they like to refer to it. If you like LA sports then you must be enjoying life right now with the Lakers! How are the Kings games? I've never gone to one but it looks like a lot of fun.

HB: Hey....
I rent my chair out and Im in calabasas...
As for the Lakers... im kinda over them until the LAST game cuz i think its all fixed right now so Its not that much fun to watch! but thats just my opion!! what do i know? Hahah!!! Kings games are AWESOME! They are sooo fun!!! And i LOVE dodger games too!! So now that its dodger season I spend alot of time there!!! Alright I gotta go get ready to start my day! talk to you later

h00: Sweet!

It is kind of cool to meet someone who is an actual fan and doesn't go to the games just to be out of the house...I'm a Dodger fan too BUT when the CUBS come to town I usually go to that game. So if we ever go to a Dodgers Cubs game I will be sure to frisk you for any razors or shears you brought from the salon in case you want to stab, cut or decapitate me in any way!!! It'll be ON =)

My cousin lives in West Hills and I visit him a lot. Do you come down to LA often?

HB: I wouldnt sit next to someone who was rooting for the OTHER TEAM!!! who would?? LOL!! You would sit lik 5 seats away from me!!! Hahaha =) sorrry but .... ya know I cant do that to my team!! I dont go down to LA i drive thru it alot but I dont go there! =) ok im off to bed!!! ill talk to u soon! have a good nite

so, i'm not asking what to write at this point exactly, but i am asking advice on what direction to move it. i think that keeping on the sports thing is going to play itself out in the next email if i bring it up again but yet there isn't much in her profile to go off of. where would you take this?

kind of wierd but she did a "read deleted" on my messages too if that means anything.


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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 9:48 pm 
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Hey h00ligan,

I was reviewing what you wrote and I think you did a good job of gaining some intial comfort and rapport with her. However, if we don't do something to start building attraction soon we are going to end up her friend and not her boyfriend.

You are correct in realising this sports conversation is just about over. It's time to switch the subjects. You want to move to a subject in which you are going to be able to DHV yourself casually or without making it obvious.

For example, I might ask her how it was growing up for her. Then I might bridge and start talking about my really large family and use that conversational topic to DHV myself in multiple ways.

Bottom line is you need to start talking about you, and hitting those attraction switches so that you don't end up in the friend zone. I'm sure you won't have any problem doing that since she is very open to the conversation with you based on her wording and length of messages.

Good Luck :D

Jon

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PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2009 9:49 pm 
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aff sucks, to many fakes. try some alternatives
Thanks for the suggestion sir.

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PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2009 11:05 am 
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Hey JSmooth ;)

I didn't do too much online game but I'm getting into it and I wonder about midgame! Say, I open some girl indirectly, and after some conversation where I DHV, she opens up, writing longer texts, more detailed, etc. I treat that as IOI. But then I think, she is writing me lots of stuff about her, that I know will lead to LJBF if I went along with it. Well, of course I asked her for it lol, but how do I transition to more sexual talk when we are only talking about sports or animals? I think of starting a game routine at the end of my text, that will change the direction of the conversation to something more exciting. Or intentionally misinterpreting some of her sentences to use it for sexual annuenda.

But I think it might shock her if at first we only talk about normal stuff and then suddenly I change that style to a more sexual one! :?

TIA for help,
Hawk :D


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PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2009 1:35 pm 
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Hey JSmooth ;)

I didn't do too much online game but I'm getting into it and I wonder about midgame! Say, I open some girl indirectly, and after some conversation where I DHV, she opens up, writing longer texts, more detailed, etc. I treat that as IOI. But then I think, she is writing me lots of stuff about her, that I know will lead to LJBF if I went along with it. Well, of course I asked her for it lol, but how do I transition to more sexual talk when we are only talking about sports or animals? I think of starting a game routine at the end of my text, that will change the direction of the conversation to something more exciting. Or intentionally misinterpreting some of her sentences to use it for sexual annuenda.

But I think it might shock her if at first we only talk about normal stuff and then suddenly I change that style to a more sexual one! :?

TIA for help,
Hawk :D
Hawk,

Good Point! Realize this about online game it doesn't follow your normal pattern of Attraction then Comfort then Seduction or the M3 Model. It's more like...

Build Intial Rapport and Common Ground
-Insert DHV Spikes to start creating attraction where appropriate in conversation

Build a Connection and Trust
-Start escalating to move her from email to IM, IM to telephone, phone to date, etc.

Anyways, with that being said I still know what you are saying. I have posted a few IM conversations on the forum and if I can find a good one I'll put it in here. Kind of like you are saying I misinterpret things she is saying at first to see if she is warm to the idea of speaking on sexual terms.

Keep in mind women are very very sexual, much more than men are they just keep it to themselves. It's not that hard to do it. Once you get going on the conversation it's not that tough.

Jon

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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 9:50 am 
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Hey J ive been reading this forum im only on page 13 and i gotta say thank you so much for taking the time to do this man,
i hope you get an amazing wish granted or something cuz ur really helping alot of guys here doing this.

I know the topic is about online sarging but i was wondering maybe if you had a link or someone you could recommend that can help me.

need to know if im in the friendzone here or if i have the slightest chance..i know this girl worked with her for about
1yr we get along great constant banter, laughter, and kino (but i never escalated)...she just got a boyfriend 5 months ago and she tells him
about us and how we get along(hes jealous)...couple weeks ago she was complaining to me about how he has no manners
n doesnt get along with her parents..Today now she comes to me telling me about her ex and how she found out hes with some1 new,
then!right after she tells me to flex my muscles so she can feel my biceps???...
now im wondering if she is complaning to get a reaction from me or she just needs a friends opinion??

I keep looking for these pupils that are supposed to dilate if a girl likes you but im not really seeing any results,
no hair play, no head tilts with puppy dog eyes...im just lost with all this body language & reading women period

Please Help!


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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 7:08 pm 
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Hey J ive been reading this forum im only on page 13 and i gotta say thank you so much for taking the time to do this man,
i hope you get an amazing wish granted or something cuz ur really helping alot of guys here doing this.

I know the topic is about online sarging but i was wondering maybe if you had a link or someone you could recommend that can help me.

need to know if im in the friendzone here or if i have the slightest chance..i know this girl worked with her for about
1yr we get along great constant banter, laughter, and kino (but i never escalated)...she just got a boyfriend 5 months ago and she tells him
about us and how we get along(hes jealous)...couple weeks ago she was complaining to me about how he has no manners
n doesnt get along with her parents..Today now she comes to me telling me about her ex and how she found out hes with some1 new,
then!right after she tells me to flex my muscles so she can feel my biceps???...
now im wondering if she is complaning to get a reaction from me or she just needs a friends opinion??

I keep looking for these pupils that are supposed to dilate if a girl likes you but im not really seeing any results,
no hair play, no head tilts with puppy dog eyes...im just lost with all this body language & reading women period

Please Help!
Slayerz,

Hey man, you are welcome! I appreciate your compliments and maybe I will get some cool wish granted...or get like a genie. :)

Reading through this I see that you are a really good guy friend to this girl. You guys have a great relationship of being able to trust each other and be that shoulder to cry on type of thing. You have been in this type of relationship for a year. She has already listed you as a friend some time ago. It's probably going to stay there.

Now I'm not saying she isn't attracted to you. However, you know that you being status as a friend will keep many women from escalating and loosing a good friend. With anything like this there is a few things you can do.

A.) Leave the relationship as is, and enjoy having a nice girl to hang out with.

B.) Tell her how you feel and see what happens. This will be an awkward conversation and she is going to ask you, "Why?" you feel this way. It's not really a fair question but I garuantee you that is what she will say. This could go either way but to me has less chance for success.

C.) Lastly, when you are in a happy feel good moment with her start to escalate things physically with kino and push towards kissing. If it happens then great, or she'll tell you something about being friends. You can always blame it on the moment, but this has the greatest chance for success.

Jon

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PostPosted: Sun May 31, 2009 8:13 pm 
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Just recently added a girl I used to talk to in facebook. Haven't seen/talked for about 3 years. Want to get back to talk to her and go out.. Do you have any suggestions??


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 5:26 am 
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Jsmooth,


I have been sending messages back and forth between this girl on myspace. Maybe about 6 or 7 total of about 2-3 paragraphs a message. I have gone and tried to build comfort and attraction. I tried getting her number and arranging a meet but she shot me down saying she was too busy and that alot of guys message her on myspace looking for one thing. I have tried again to arrange a meeting but she just ignored that part of the message.

What more can I do to build comfort and attraction? I feel like im starting to fall in the friends zone. Should I be persistent or change strategies?


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 2:35 pm 
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Just recently added a girl I used to talk to in facebook. Haven't seen/talked for about 3 years. Want to get back to talk to her and go out.. Do you have any suggestions??
TrueGameBro,

Can you provide me some details of what was going on before you didn't talk for 3 years. Were you dating? Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Friends? Ever kiss? Party Together? Etc. Help me with knowing what the dynamic was before.

In some cases it won't matter much and in others it will make a huge difference. I can help you either way, I just need the information to avoid potential land mines.

Jon

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:10 pm 
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Jsmooth,


I have been sending messages back and forth between this girl on myspace. Maybe about 6 or 7 total of about 2-3 paragraphs a message. I have gone and tried to build comfort and attraction. I tried getting her number and arranging a meet but she shot me down saying she was too busy and that alot of guys message her on myspace looking for one thing. I have tried again to arrange a meeting but she just ignored that part of the message.

What more can I do to build comfort and attraction? I feel like im starting to fall in the friends zone. Should I be persistent or change strategies?
Luchini,

That is interesting that she won't provide you with her contact information. Now some women have to be gradually escalated to getting the number where it's just the next logical step. Kind of like with kino where you start touching, hold hand, and kissing is the next step, it's not big deal. Some times you have to slowly escalate her comfort levels, like going from email to IM, then from a few good IM session to her #, and then of course to a date.

The other thing when working online game like this is you have to seperate yourself from the other idiots that contacted her. Much like you do in field when you work you are the exception to the rule.

I think we are going to need to change strategies at this point. It would help if you could post the conversations between the two of you so that I can better assist you. If you don't wish to post them here you can always Private Message me with that information.

Jon

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 9:11 pm 
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Quote:
Just recently added a girl I used to talk to in facebook. Haven't seen/talked for about 3 years. Want to get back to talk to her and go out.. Do you have any suggestions??
TrueGameBro,

Can you provide me some details of what was going on before you didn't talk for 3 years. Were you dating? Boyfriend/Girlfriend? Friends? Ever kiss? Party Together? Etc. Help me with knowing what the dynamic was before.

In some cases it won't matter much and in others it will make a huge difference. I can help you either way, I just need the information to avoid potential land mines.

Jon
We were basically friends and it was really relaxed; meaning not a jst friends zone but also not 100% tension. I didn't even know pickup and wasn't even that attracted, however, she looks GREAT now. I just wanted to know how restart the talking and arrange a date (facebook). As we had a previous connection I think it'd be pretty easy to get the numbers. But I definetly wanted to get your input. :D
Thanks btw


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 12:04 am 
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We were basically friends and it was really relaxed; meaning not a jst friends zone but also not 100% tension. I didn't even know pickup and wasn't even that attracted, however, she looks GREAT now. I just wanted to know how restart the talking and arrange a date (facebook). As we had a previous connection I think it'd be pretty easy to get the numbers. But I definetly wanted to get your input. :D
Thanks btw
TrueGameBro,

I wouldn't waste a lot of time trying catching up because you do want this to lead a date but some of that is going to happen. I would be fairly direct in my message to her in showing some interest. In this situation I would say something to the effect of, "Wow, it's been a long time hasn't it? I am curious about you. What have you been up to all this time?"

As you are exchanging messages back and forth you are going to inevitably catch up talking about what's been going over the past few years. While you are doing that remember to work to create attraction. We are starting off fresh. Remember your Attraction Spikes: Pre-selection, Leader of Men, Protector of Loves Ones, Non-Needy Behaviour, etc. Make sure to incorporate some of these things in your messages back to her to subconciously work to build attraction with her before you try to escalate to get her Phone Number.

We want to work to establish not only some rapport with her but also attraction! From there you work to meet her for a date and get her phone number. Pesonally, I like jumping on Instant Messenger because it's an easy thing to get her to do. Then you can type at her in a real time manner and from there it will be easier to ask her for the date and #.

Good Luck,

Jon

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