how to know if a girl is looking for sex or a relationship



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PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 3:32 am 
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i have been in some dates where it went well, i was confident made no mistakes, everything was fine, but they lost interest the next time we talk or meet again. I get in some dates they are expecting something whether its sex or a long relationship, I just cant tell which feelings they are trying to portray.


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PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 8:48 am 
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well if the girl is just looking for sex, then she will most likely put out on the first date, or definatly on the second date for sure. Also, as a general rule I have, if the girl texts/calls strickly after 10ish, then she probably just wants sex.

on the otherhand, if she seemes to be taking it easy (like, she wont sleep with you right away) and agrees to second or third dates, texts/calls during the day "just to say hi"or something along those lines, then she most likely is looking for a relationship. however if she is looking for a relationship but seems to loose interest, it was probably because she saw no future (or no mistery for that matter). Try to make your self sound super interesting but without giving too much away. Make her want to see you again to find out more about you. Also, practice your story telling abilities and always have a few pre selected (somewhat rehearsed) stories ready for your dates. and remember the cat string theory. Dangle that string or you'll bore her.

Hope that helped.

-Zeus

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PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 10:39 am 
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I would aim for sex either way, the worst that can happen is she will say I am not ready or I don't want to be just a ONS so will answer the question for you.

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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2009 12:27 am 
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I would aim for sex either way, the worst that can happen is she will say I am not ready or I don't want to be just a ONS so will answer the question for you.
Agreed. I don't see any problem starting a relationship with sex, it just creates further investment on her behalf and you don't have to fear that she'll think too badly of you, because she's also getting you more invested as well, so it works well for both parties.


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2009 12:47 am 
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well if the girl is just looking for sex, then she will most likely put out on the first date, or definatly on the second date for sure. Also, as a general rule I have, if the girl texts/calls strickly after 10ish, then she probably just wants sex.

on the otherhand, if she seemes to be taking it easy (like, she wont sleep with you right away) and agrees to second or third dates, texts/calls during the day "just to say hi"or something along those lines, then she most likely is looking for a relationship. however if she is looking for a relationship but seems to loose interest, it was probably because she saw no future (or no mistery for that matter). Try to make your self sound super interesting but without giving too much away. Make her want to see you again to find out more about you. Also, practice your story telling abilities and always have a few pre selected (somewhat rehearsed) stories ready for your dates. and remember the cat string theory. Dangle that string or you'll bore her.

Hope that helped.

-Zeus
Or you can just ask. :wink: :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2009 12:57 am 
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i have been in some dates where it went well, i was confident made no mistakes, everything was fine, but they lost interest the next time we talk or meet again. I get in some dates they are expecting something whether its sex or a long relationship, I just cant tell which feelings they are trying to portray.

Honestly... she will conform to whatever frame you put her in. It is actually your job as a man to lead the interaction and direct her to where you want it to go.

These girls probably lost interest because you came off like you didn't know what you wanted. That is an unattractive quality in a man.

She does control the speed at which sex occurs but you can always test the waters by pinging with sexual comments and setting up sexual frames that will make her more comfortable.


S


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PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2009 4:57 am 
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Quote:
i have been in some dates where it went well, i was confident made no mistakes, everything was fine, but they lost interest the next time we talk or meet again. I get in some dates they are expecting something whether its sex or a long relationship, I just cant tell which feelings they are trying to portray.

Honestly... she will conform to whatever frame you put her in. It is actually your job as a man to lead the interaction and direct her to where you want it to go.

These girls probably lost interest because you came off like you didn't know what you wanted. That is an unattractive quality in a man.

She does control the speed at which sex occurs but you can always test the waters by pinging with sexual comments and setting up sexual frames that will make her more comfortable.


S
That's wicked advice, totally pay attention to this because I've forgotten to keep a solid intent when I'm starting a relationship with a girl and it always flounders. I'm definitely gonna remember to keep that in mind next time I'm playing it too cool and don't have set intentions.


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