I was telling some in the chat room. To make this short and simple. There's two co-workers that work together (Dan which is single and Leah which has a bf). She and I get along great. We laugh at silly shit, talk about anything. However, talking her to previously and she told me she wouldn't consider Dan as boyfriend material, and not even a friend. She told me she likes when she get's along with him and it makes it easier to work with.

However, last night he was checking her out looking down her shirt. I always get this funny sensations that something's going on. If it's not my dick then it can't be dan's dick. LOL! JK.

She doesnt' believe in cheating - she thinks it's disgusting. I don't see any IOI's coming from her but from Dan yes. Dan hasn't told me he doesn't like her or does like her.

While watching Dan and Leah talk in the office while I was chatting with her. I noticed Dan would constantly throw different perspectives and it seemed like she didn't like most of what he was saying.

One point of the night, he was talking about Martial Arts and breaking bones and such. He clocked out and after he left - she told me she didn't like hearing that stuff. So we picked up the convo and laughed at some things about movies and such. I teased her alot which she laughed at.

This funny feeling I get is in my stomach, and some thoughts come in. I'm working it out with my therapist but still - it's like I can't take her word for it. This problem has been getting in the way sometimes.

What i observe from Dan - is that maybe he tries to hard by trying to impress her. I know it's not of my business but she only get's fucked by her boyfriend every month she sees him - he lives in Tennessee and he's in Illinois.

Right now, they're gone - she told me they'll be gone doing some earings for the apartment, going to pick up some clients and such.

This feeling get's me anxious, angry at times and I want to trust her but somehow maybe I can't.

On the side note - I see what women done like cheating with me on their boyfriends and it makes me more kinda untrustful. You know?

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krkkkrkrwwwwwhat?

EDIT: I don't know, I read your post, and for some reason it didn't flow. I don't understand what you were trying to convey or what is really going on. So i'm going to take a quick shot at and you let me know if my interpretation is right.

Basically girl has a boyfriend. Dan at work is trying to hit on her with no avail. She enjoys talking to you.


that's as far as i got...


shed some light.

What do you mean what? LOL!

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I get what you are saying:

You and girl are friends
Girl has BF
Guy likes girl
Girl doesnt like guy
You think there is something going on between guy and girl

However, what exactly is the point?

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Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

No, it's a strange feeling I get about them. It could be just mistruist - because i've got with women that have cheaten on their boyfriends with me. I wanna fuck this chick - so alot of it probably has to do with SHE'S MINE and YOU CAN'T HAVE HER- kinda thing.

She and i can't even date - there's alot of psychosis that's involved as well. I was talking to my therapist the other day and basically he said that if I like a woman and she's near a man and they're just taking - it builds up anxiety and then when it get's to a certain point it bursts out in anger.

In my mind -there has to be a reason why I'm getting pissy. Right now, When it's just her and I talking I"m fine. However, when Dan and her are in the office that's when I get goofy. I know it's part of insecurity - but if you been with women that cheated on their boyfriends with you - sure it'll be great but then would you trust women enough? Like if she cheated on her boyfriend with me it's fine but not with dan. Goofy I know - very goofy. I'm goofy so that's where you got that whole picture.

I guess the point is - should I take her word for it and my hunch is being silly. I know like so what if their fucking. But I want her - I don't want him to have her. Since I'm a client - I can't have her so it's almost impossible to have her and I think this is why it's driving me nuts. I wanna fuck her brains out so bad but can't - she'll get in trouble and I could lose my apartment. Somethings you man not understand fully, which is okay too! I fell fro therapists all the time since the 7 years I've been here. However, this time it's not an obsession which I hope it's not because other girls I'll fantasize about as well.

Thanks for your support guys! Maybe it's just my thoughts that are telling me that something's wrong but when there's not. Maybe I sense dan's interest - but there is the "WHAT IF" concept. Yesterday I was thinking to myself, "Well is the world going to collapse if she likes him...no!" So, i don't know why I care so much.

Alright monsters thanks!

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A scarcity mindset.


That's what's giving you the strange feelings because you feel like someone is gonna take the girl that you like away from you.

Don't trust it, or act on it.

It's a DLV

I think you're jealous.

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Are you actually looking to get with this girl stealth? Or are you just a big spectator?

Here's what you need to do, believe her about what she says about dan, unless a few "grey area" moments come about. If he does not have her phone number, thats that right there. But if he does, go to step 2, has he actually had a date or met up with her outside of work. IF not then Why are you worried about it. You obviously are higher up on the ladder with her then he is so what is the deal?

I was in a goofy instance like yours, although things were obvious where the girl was seemingly ultra flirty, but because of knowing the facts I knew the real truth(mainly from actually getting down 1 on 1 with her). Of course she would be nice/friendly to other guys, even flirty showing some obvious IOI's, but the fact was she tested the piss out of these guys and none of them passed the tests. She literally had this guy wound around her finger, and anytime she wanted him to do something or act a certain way, shed flip some Ioi's and the guy would squirm in his seat... SHE WOULD make guys her pawn...surprised your chick leah isnt using dan to get him to serve her.

"She and i can't even date - there's alot of psychosis that's involved as well. I was talking to my therapist the other day and basically he said that if I like a woman and she's near a man and they're just taking - it builds up anxiety and then when it get's to a certain point it bursts out in anger. "

^^^ And telling yourself you cannot date is another good way to screw up your mindset pal. Is there some serious consequences that will arise if you take her out on a date on your own time? Will you lose your job? Be locked up in jail? Can't see whats holding you back here..unless im missing something. I understand the job environment can put a stall on things but that is why you need to grab her phone number and take it on your own turf....

You hit on a lot of good points, man! The reason why I can't date her is because I'm a client or patient of this organization. Even though i live in my own apartment and she works inside my apartment complex it'll be obvious. She and I did talk about if staff and a client had sex together. she asked would it feel akward - I said no that I'll love it. I didn't tell her that I had sex with a staff before then she'll be more curious what happened. She does share personal things like her interests, her childhood, etc.. I do touch her on the arm, and the back but I'm so tempted to slap her ass. I gotta make sure the trust is there though and she won't tell because if she does of course she'll be fired, have the state on her ass for fucking a client or patient. The person I fucked the last time almost gone threw in jail and I had to meet with a undercover detective and a woman which was communicating to the detective behind a glass mirror. I wasn't stupid I waved at the mirror knowing they'll see me. However, there wasn't enough to charge the staff with and they decided to drop the charges.

I think when I feel a girl likes me and she's talking to another guy like Youth Riot said I get jealous. However, like you said I'm more on the ladder than Dan is.

Also, Leah isn't like your girl. She doesn't have dan bending backwards - dan already bends over backwards for anyone but lately has been an asshole. He waved to me today and I just walked by. I know by questioning her motives and such is putting me lower and making me look insecure. However, tonight when we talk we'll be laughing again and such. Dan doesn't work tomorrow so Ii told Leah that we'll watch a movie with some of the clients.

Someone said it head on which I feel that someone is gonna take a girl that I like away. Which is probably the cause of my anxiety and anger because the fear of losing someone that I think that likes me - you know?

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