Dude stop trying to rationalize that it wasn't that bad. If she thought she might be in love with this other guy your relationship was pretty bad off and probably was for a while before this ever happened.

I was in a similar situation as you a couple months back. The difference was that she moved back home (we lived together also) after she finished college and I stayed behind to finish school. We weren't seeing each other regularly and it made it easier after we broke up not seeing one another on a daily basis.

My advice for you is to next her and gftow. I made the mistake of calling her wanting to work things out. Don't make this mistake. It didn't work out and just ended up fucking me up even more. The only thing that helped me was meeting and FUCKING new women.

Also its good that you manned up and saw you weren't acting as a man should. I had to face that hard reality when I began thinking to myslef what the hell went wrong in my realtionship since I thought it was going so good. Anyways, take care and at the very least don't take her back too soon and don't see her regularly for a while if possible.

Aye Havooc,, so true.
Dude that is just the hard assed facts of life. I don't care what Eastern philosophy you adhere to, or how deep you can reach and see into yourself.

How to get over her?

As soon as you meet some woman you like better than her, you are fucking over her.

It's simple.

Cheers all

Thanks for the advice guys, i really do appreciate it.

Havocc, I do recognize how fucked up things were in our relationship now, and take full responsibility for the part my behavior played in what happened.

At the same, I'm not really trying to get over her at the moment, because she wants me back. She realized that the other guy (let's call him Steve) was totally not what she was looking for, and that the only reason she got with him is because I stopped doing the things I did in the beginning to attract her.

I know for a fact that I could go out and fuck whoever I want. My bar game has always been tight and since i've been with a SHB for the past 3ish years I understand them a lot more than before. In fact, I went sarging every time she went out to coffee with Steve, number closing each and every time.

The thing is, I still want to be with her. I don't think this cheating thing was entirely her fault. I drove her to it in many ways. Bottom line, she made a mistake, has apologized for it profusely, and is ready to invest in me again (she also finally admitted that she's bisexual recently, and wants to have a threesome now... turns out we also have the same taste in women ).

I just don't know man. I feel like I already have a lot invested in this relationship and I care for her a great deal. We have similar attitudes about life, spirituality, politics, and people. I feel like we're really compatible I just fell back into AFC-land for the past year and drove her away.

If it turns out I am wrong though, and she's taking me for a ride, I'll definitely come back to this thread and follow both of you guys' advice. It's quality and i agree 100% if you're trying to get over somebody.

Thanks again to everyone who posted on this thread. This forum has helped me more than anything else in my life lately - even close friends.

Just the Best,
VJ

It seems that a lot of people advocate "just ditch her and move on" more than I would like, personally. It's a very good concept, but at the extreme end you don't want to miss out on something good that just required you to grow a bit thicker skin, and you don't want to get into some cycle of running away from anything that's a problem.

Sounds like you and your girl are onto something good now, all the best for the future