Very similar to what's going on in another thread right now (tried to link it but for some reason the link won't display), but I didn't wanna be rude and piggyback on someone else's show.

I met this girl last fall and for whatever reason went completely AFC when I got her on a date. Got FIRMLY friend-boxed, but over time we became close, and now she's one of my best friends. There's a lot of comfort and trust there, and when I stopped trying with her and accepted the friendship, I stopped treating her like "a girl" and started being myself, aka awesome. I bullshit with her, run into her when I'm out on dates, bitch about girls I'm sleeping with, joke with her like she's one of my guy friends, etc... She's seeing me differently.

Few months go by, she starts flirting, and I'm getting all these IOIs. Big, big, huge ones. I knew she wanted it but I was refusing to make the first move, given that she shot me down once before, and also because I value our friendship so much now that I was really scared of rocking the boat.

Last week she had an awful day and I went over at midnight to talk and help cheer her up. Plenty of kino, lots of massaging, I had her laughing the entire time, and there were several different good opportunities to kiss her, and I just kept thinking, "What if this fucks up the friendship?" and I lamed out. But when I was about to go really late that night, she hugged me for a long time and I just thought "Well, why not" and I kissed her. No buildup, no flirty remarks, no touching her face or anything, just came out of the hug and went for it. No good. She was totally unexpecting. It was BAD timing, and after I'd let so many good times pass. And it was SO awkward. She didn't really respond but she didn't pull away. It was...so not cool. She didn't seem thrown in the slightest after, but I left feeling real odd about the whole thing, especially because I have always gotten extremely high compliments on my kissing and that was the first time I've ever walked away from one feeling like I'd turned in crappy work.

It wasn't mentioned again for days, and tonight we were texting and I said I was sorry I kissed her, and she said, "As long as we don't have to have a big conversation about it, it's fine. Don't worry about it." I felt the best approach (for both the friendship AND for paving toward a second shot) was defusing the whole thing with humor so it stops being a big deal, and we joke all the time about how big my ego is, so I went for laughs. This is what happened:

-Me: No, you don't understand. Whether or not you care one way or the other, my ego's pissed and I require a do-over cuz I've never given a bad kiss and it's bugging. Principle and personal record, you know?
-Her: I don't know...it was pretty awkward the first time. Maybe if you get me drunk and warn me first lol.
-Me: YEAH it was awkward. OMG, right? I actually laughed when I got in the car. Totally not my style. Now you see why I'm sorry!
-Her: LOL I was like WTF just happened?
-Me: You didn't seem thrown so of course I wasn't gonna be like "That sucked" but yeah, I dunno. I just kinda did it and then as soon as I started I thought "STOP!" but I'd already kinda gone forward, so I had to commit LMAO. I've never had awkward one before, so it was especially surprising for me.
-Her: Hahaha glad we're on the same page.
-Me: Yes we are! Know what? Know what?? That never happened. My ego can't accept it. In fact--I don't even know what this text is about. Let's get together soon and NOT talk about this LOL.
-Her: LMAO sounds great
-Me: Good. Now, call your fucking doctor in the morning about the scratchy throat you gave me!

We moved past that and talked about other stuff for a while, and seems like things are cool. I can't say yet whether things are different until we hang out in person and I see if the flirting's gone away, but since we actually talked and laughed about it and just kind of got rid of the awkward tension it brought, I don't feel the need to act any differently on my end.

My questions: Did I handle this okay? Am I right in thinking I managed to salvage her interest by not letting that kiss hang over us? How do I lay the groundwork for a second attempt? How soon is TOO soon, and how long should I wait?

from what I read, how the situation seems to be paning out etc..

I would just full on K-Close with the most amazing kiss next time you see her, and like imediatly, sweep her off her feet, dont even say hello, do ur best jobm full of confidence.

She's obvioulsy been wanting the kiss for ages, now u gave the bad one, she is more than willing to ignore it, but this is on the premise that next time u do it right and like u should.

Confidence over caution my friend!

The girl digs u clearly, u fucked up hard with ur kiss and she did a genuine thing by ignoring it and also stating she doesnt want to make a big deal out of it.

She would rather forget it and hope u can come up with the "magical kiss" goods...

I teach flawless kissing technique if u wanna know it lol

I've never gotten anything but big compliments on my kissing, but sure--I won't turn down more knowledge lol!

And you really think I should just do it immediately next time I see her, when she suggested I warn her lol? I feel like taking her by complete surprise with no buildup again is probably not good...

Haha, well I'm glad I'm not the only one this sort of crap happens to!

Goldeneye the funny thing is that I too have been told numerous times that I'm a great kisser. In fact almost always once I'm at that point with a girl, the rest is a guarantee, so my crappy K-close was quite disconcerting for me as well.

I don't think it was necessarily good that you apologized for the bad kiss, but the conversation you had afterward seemed right on the money. Some self deprecating humor and your aloof, laughing it off attitude were right on the money. I think I'll use a similar style in my next interaction with my girl.

The key for me is not to let my mess up effect my interactions and confidence level with her moving forward.

Good luck, and definitely let me know how it goes!

I never "warn" a girl im kissing her, the only build up to it is the fact shes in my company and she should be kino'd constantly, 3 IOI's max and I just go straight in.

I think a girl needs to b really dumb or really inexperienced if she freaks when u go to kiss her, that or shes really "not that into you"

Ive never asked to kiss a girl, I just pull them close, stare into their eyes, then at their lips, then at their eyes, if they look at my lips then I go in for the kiss...

Is that the flawless kissing technique? Cuz that's the general rule I usually go by. ...Which I roundly ignored this time, foolishly. Shame on me.

na thats not my perfect kiss technique.

perfect kiss is ten steps and will blow ur girls socks off.

I cud teach it to couples to have the perfect wedding kiss its that good.

Pm me if u want the steps etc

Okay, now I just don't know what's going on.

Because G and I are "just friends," I sometimes talk about whatever's going on with me and other girls, and she knows I'm hung up on this other chick, D. The other night, D calls me late and says she's hanging at a bar and seems to be dancing around something but not saying it outright. I don't spend much time on the call with her, and when we hang up, G texts saying she's at a bar and just saw D walk past. I text her back and say, "Invite me down there. I need to talk to her, but I wanna be able to say I didn't just show up looking for her." G sends a text back, but doesn't reply to the invite request.

I show up anyway. D's gone, so I hang with G and her friends. She smiles and touches me much more than usual, even though I piss her off with a couple of negs. We both go our separate ways, and she texts me later when she's getting into bed. I mention that she never did invite me down, and this happened.

G: I wasn't gonna ask you to come just so you could say hi for a second then spend the whole time flirting with D.
Me: Maybe I wasn't gonna do that. Maybe I really wanted to see you.
G: Then why didn't you say that?
Me: I dunno. I didn't feel like it. (I said this on purpose, because I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of having me commit to the statement.)
G: What does that mean?
Me: I don't know. I just didn't wanna say it. If you thought I was using you to get to D, why didn't you call me on it?
G: I don't know.
Me: Nice answer.
G: I would keep talking but I'm getting sleepy. This discussion is not over.

The next day we ended up talking a lot and the kiss came up again and she talked again about how awkward it was, and I casually said I thought we'd let that go. She said she was wondering why I did it, and by then I was really tired of going in circles so I told her I'm into her. I probably shouldn't have done that straight out, but oh well, I can't take it back now.

She said she can't decide how she feels about me, that she loves being around me and talking to me but sometimes she thinks there's something there and other times I make her feel worthless. Which I guess is fair because sometimes I'm gaming her and sometimes, because we're also good friends, when we're together for an extended period and I let my guard down, I stop gaming and am just in friend-mode or whatever. She said sometimes I'm really mean and hurt her feelings and piss her off, and she said my ego's too big, and it would break her. (And this is a girl with, IMO, a sizable ego of her own.) I told her I haven't entirely been myself because I'm not someone who lets people in. She said, "I just want you to be you." I said we'd see.

She said there couldn't be anything more than friendship "right now," but several things she said made it sound like she was still kind of interested and just waiting for a hook. She followed that with, "...And I'm not saying I'm interested or that I will be in the future, but I will not compete with other girls for you." I said, "I'm assuming you're talking about the other girls I'm seeing?" She said, "Yes. If I want to be with someone, I need to know that I'm the one he wants most, and I'm not gonna play second fiddle to other girls."

I told her I'd try to trust her enough to be myself more around her, but if she decides she wants me then it's on her to make it clear because I'm not putting myself out there a third time. She said, "If I decide I want something to happen, I'll let you know somehow." And I believe her when she says that; I don't think it was bullshit or anything.

That was yesterday. We talked a lot on different occasions today, and I was much more even-keeled with the exception of some minor negs. At many different points she said lots of things about being in her underwear, and feeling how smooth her legs are, and she joked about waking up with my face on her body, and me wanting her nipples. She also brought up the kiss a couple more times, and I didn't let it show but that's really starting to piss me off.

She also brought up two different guys, one she really wants to sleep with and one she's slept with many times; usually I do a good job of acting like I don't give a shit. She often tries to make me jealous, and I normally don't care, but tonight she was saying more pointed things that there was really no way to respond to, and it was like she was trying to get under my skin or something, I don't know. I started gently poking fun at her because she's not getting laid, and she laughs and says, "I'm not desperate yet. If I really needed it you know I could go out and get it," I suppose indicating that even in that scenario I would still not be called. I didn't feel the need to respond to that one because she knows I can go out and get it too. At the end of our last conversation she brought up the second guy again and I didn't feel like navigating bullshit so I was just like, "Well, I'm gonna go take care of some stuff. Bye," and she goes "Awwww, okay. Bye." WTF.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING ANYMORE. Is she trying to keep me on a string? Does she legitimately want me to be nicer and more genuine??--because I was when we met, and we all know that didn't work out. She didn't start responding until I started getting cocky and making her pissed and showing off my women. Now she says she wants me to be me and apparently doesn't want to feel like there's competition, but she's started throwing other guys at me left and right and certainly hasn't cut back on her ego or wisecracks.

I am at a loss. There's a festival going on tomorrow and we'd talked about her maybe hanging with me and my group, but now I feel like she'd just take the opportunity to flirt with one of my friends and let him pick her up, so she could see how I react, so I don't want her there with me at all. So where do I go? Obviously I need to surprise her again. Part of me wants to show up at her door in the afternoon with a flower and a time constraint and be smooth and tell her I'm just gonna go to the festival with my bros and hang for the evening, but I'm glad we could talk honestly and I appreciated the things she said and I'm thinking a lot about them, and drive her interest up and then leave. But part of me wants to just not call her at all tomorrow, go the festival and not think about her.

I feel like I've clearly gone VERY wrong somewhere. Where was my mistake, and can it be fixed now? Do I follow her request and tone down the ego and not give her such a hard time, or do I make myself a lot less available and throw the other girls in her face more? I've gotten calls from several, including one G's heard a lot about, and they all want to see me sometime over the next two days, and I can't wait to see all of them. And along with that, I also wanna use that to piss this girl off so bad she feels like she can't let anybody else have me. But now I'm starting to let my decisions be influenced by how much G's annoying me, so I don't know if I'm thinking with a clear head anymore. Help?