Here's the deal....

I have a long distance girlfriend that tells me she loves me (I believe her). But she has this male "friend" at work that she likes to go out with, go-karting, 1-to-1 dinner, coffee, etc, etc. She tells me she hasn't slept with him (I believe her) and that she never would (I believe that too). Only that he is a good friend.

Assuming what I believe is true, who would consider this to be cheating on me?

Cheating is the act of being unfaithful and betraying someone.

I train PUA's in field and lead by example, I flirt, I socialise and I # close girls constantly, elevate kino.... my girlfriend DOES NOT consider this cheating, she considers it part of my career and part of what makes me me.

If you DO think that all the above things are cheating then they are cheating because she is betraying the faith u put in her, if ur faith was that she would only spend 1on1 m-f time with u then she has betrayed that.

Cheating is where u draw the line as a couple, one persons cheating is anothers good time.

Its down to u n ur woman x

I agree with Zikki...cheating has to be defined by you and her as a couple. Some might say cheating is physical contact with another person, others its an emotional connection.

If it bothers you then you need to let her know.

_________________
"To Give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift" -Prefontaine

Not a PUA just a girl offering my opinions/advice

Thanks guys.
It does, and I did, in no uncertain terms. It was a bad fight, I lost it, and said stuff I really didn't mean. Haven't called her for 2 weeks, neither has she called me.

Thanks again.

long distance is hard mate, id have to have multiple relationships to deal with the space.

If i cant hit it with convenience then I wont bother with it

Haha if my gf told me this I would prob kick her to the curb! Guys dont hang out with girls one on one just to hang out....you should now that by now man! she might not be cheat.....YET! this guy wants to sleep with her and she is either knows and is leading him on, or like most women is dumb and thinks "we are just friends".

If it was me I would tell her "It me or him" if she knows you dont like it then she should stop...tell her to put her self in your shoes and if she cant do that then end things.

This is good advice if you are prepared to walk away from the relationship. You had better be truly prepared for that before you lay down an ultimatum like this though.

In my experience, when a girl is deciding to hang out one on one with a guy like this, she definitely enjoys his company, be it "friendly" or not, which is obviously not good for you.

Nevertheless, even if it is more than friendly, she's most likely going to deny it completely, and she'll probably mean it. Girls aren't even aware how much they are into a guy sometimes, especially when they're in a relationship with someone else. It's really weird - sometimes they just live in denial, even to themselves.

At any rate, here's what I think you should do: A) Lay down the ultimatum and mean it, which I'd say gives you about a 95% chance of ending the relationship, or B) Start talking to/hanging out with other girls, and make sure ur LDR knows about it - subtly of course.

Nothing heightens a girl's appreciation of you like a little friendly competition. Just call up some old girl friend (note the space) or acquaintance of yours and tell her to meet you for coffee and talk about a class you have together or something mundane. Just play it totally cool.

If you are serious about keeping this girl and don't want to lose her to the new guy (which seems to be the case), I'd say this is your best bet for achieving what you want. Then, next time you talk to her, don't bring up her and the new guy AT ALL. Just say something along the lines of, "hey babe, I hope you don't mind but I had/am going to have coffee with this girl from X class/club/whatever. I just wanted to let you know before I went/that I went so you know I'm not doing anything shady. Anyways..." then just completely change the subject.

If she doesn't go along with the subject change and starts asking about the girl, you know you've got her back. Whatever you do, don't lose your cool about it. If she doesn't respond to it, don't push the issue. If she flips out, just play it cool and be like "I just assumed it was cool since we both have friends of the opposite sex and stuff, u know, like u and that one guy."

I can't emphasize enough how important it is for you to not let your emotions get the better of you here. It sounds like the situation is pretty volatile for you right now and she's probably having doubts about sticking with you - that's just my hunch based on what you wrote above.

Either way man, you should always have some girl friends on the side. I learned that the hard way. Girls value you much, much more when other girls like you. It sounds manipulative but its just a fact of life.

Best of luck man.

Quality advice here!

I decided to let her go. Despite being an amazing fuck, she just ain't worth the heartache.

sum times its best to ditch and burn

things have a habbit of working out if they supposed to

What can be considered as cheating really depends on the person. Some people don't consider flirting and what have you cheating. While others do. So you have to ask your self do you consider what she is doing cheat? The fact that you asked it says you most probably don't consider it cheating. But with her spending so much time with one guy, I can't help but be a bit curious.

this is excellent advice.

sometimes things are hard to believe when you are in the situation yourself, and you love the girl. this is why you have to step outside the box and really look at the situation from a neutral point of view.

Agree, good advice!

This HB started life as my fuck buddy. We live 3000 miles apart, I'm in London, she's in NYC. I visit NY 2, maybe 3 times a month. You could call it a perfect "arrangement". Thing is, as I got to know her better I became more and more attached, though I always denied I was in love! Still, moving from cold fuck buddy to someone I liked alot was still no bad thing. I could handle the distance.

But when she hooks up with this "friend" from work it became too much. As others on this thread have said and demonstrated, it really comes down to personal opinion as to whether this is cheating or not. Personally I see it as cheating, she doesn't.

If I could speand more time in NY, or her in London, it would be different, but that's not going to happen. She's gone, history, NEXT....

F closed a girl from work last Wednesday - that helped! Only another 9 to go before I'm well and truly over her