I've made the amateur mistake of getting too excited about a girl too fast. I snapped out of it fairly quickly and think I still have her in the game, but if I don't throw a wrench in this one NOW, she'll be gone soon. I've made that oh-so-common mistake of focusing on how I've felt about her, and not on making her attracted to me - so I need some expert attractors to hook a brother up.

I've secured a date with her in a couple of days, and want to know what it is I can do to not sound like a complete jerk but let her know:

-I'm actively dating other girls
-I'm busy in life and going somewhere - with or without her
-Regardless of my excessive effort, too many invites, and "wussy" attitude, she's the one who hasn't "caught me"!

I think you get the point. She has been in control of this thing, and I need to sway the scales ASAP. I've got to make a big turn around, and this encounter coming up is crucial. I'm not interested to hear its too late, or I'm screwed, or any of that nay-saying either. Give me what you've got.

First off,,, I suggest you fess up and say what exactly you did. Did you get too clingy? Too needy? Call too much? Say too much?

That would help.

Then this part


You want to let her know all this stuff on one date? If things are getting screwed up and and you lay the line on her about all the other women you are seeing, don't you think that might really piss her off?

Here's what i would say. Chill you ass out on this. You have a date, so you are in. That's a good place to be. Don't fuck the date up and try to play catch up. You'll bomb.

If you really know what you are doing and you got off-track from being the calm, cool, collected guy she is looking for. Then just be that great guy at the date and forget about the past . Charm her fucking panties off at the date. Get her hot and wanting you more. Then sort of wrap things up leaving her wanting more.

But that "more" is you, not lammer strategies and lines.

Seriously, just get your shit together and enjoy the date.

Cheers Brotha!

Thanks nightrider, thats just the sort of thing I need to hear.

I screwed up by calling too much and inviting her to do way too much with me. It finally hit when she agreed to come to a casual group get-together, then 2 hours after it was over sent me the "Oh, I got back later than I thought, I hope your night was fun!" text - instead of a phone call, sincere apology, etc. Ya know the kind of feeling that makes you think - "if she was into me, should would make time."

Maybe I'm a little to skeptical and hard on her, but that triggered a review of the relationship up until this point and I realized I did some other no-no's. Mentioning or inviting on a next date on a current date, contacting her almost every day, etc. I try to be VERY aware of how a girl is feeling though, so its conceivable that I jumped to some conclusions.

But what do you say? I need a turn around. I feel like if I don't create some heavy attraction, she'll slip through my fingers...chew me out if thats what it takes, help set my mind straight!

I bet you she really digs you just the way you are. You know the mistakes you made, so just forget about them and adjust. Here's a couple tips.

WHen you're dating her, don't let her get too deep into your mind. Try to keep a little distance there. You don't have to date other women, but at least look at them and think "Hmmm, maybe I ought to dump my gal and bang this one". Just to keep you brain from getting too needy. Make sure you are the one saying you got to go when you talk on the phone. Wrap the conversation up at a high point, not a dull point. That way she will remember you for that good feeling.

Don't text too much and when you do, just make sure it's really witty and funny. Oh and let her sit and wait for your responses. Ok? Let her wait a while. Then hit her with some good shit.

At the date, start off on a high energy fun note. Keep it positive and her smiling. Get real close to her and get her to smile,,,, then pull away and "hey, I'm not that easy". Compliment and then take it back. Say you changed your mind about it. Come up with one story that show's you have value, but be discrete. Make sure it doesn't look like a brag. C/F humor.

Dress well, be. Good posture, confidence.

Whatever.

You see,,, all those things and others are fun things for you and her. They don't invlove hurting her feelings or belittleing her in any way.

Here's the big picture. WOmen are looking for guys who have more value than they have themselves. Do you get that? Not rock stars, but at least just a step up from who they think they are. Think about that. It's everything.

So be suttle, cool and show value in a casual way. Remember in your mind, you are the deal, you are the catch. Here's a mindset reminder,,, tease her a bit like you would a little brat sister. That will give the mindset. But it must be fun. If she laughes and punches you, you are on the right track.

Oh yeah,,, one last thing. And this is a bit of a guess. Since you messed up a bit, you may have been demoted a bit on the seduction scale. That means, you may be back to square one on the touchy/feely stuff. So think of it, like with a girl you just met. Keep your distance till she shows some IOI's. That's your green light to put your hand on her shoulder or touch her arm etc. If you get ahead of her, you may show that you don't get it.

A guess on that.



Cheers,

Yo first of all sounds like this chick is really hot in your book, Might be good to rethink what is really hot in your book? Is she really that attractive to have you acting the way your acting? Just keep in your head that now is the time for a turning point, to put a 180 things, to be different, to keep her guessing at your next move/keep her interested. Might be what shes waiting for to see in you.

Its not too late brah, Id go with exactly what night rider said: about keeping it light, ending things on a high note etc etc. All the moves and control of things should be on your watch not hers.


Now its a descent trick I think, I've arranged to do something later on in the week while on a date with a chick but 100% of the time I never contact or make plans to go through with what i previously established...sort of shakes things up a bit, to show her that I am in fact busy/tied up... And that way if she is in fact interested you'll hear from her the next time you speak "What happened for such and such, I thought we were suppose to get together?".

The only thing that really fucks you up in this business is being way too needy/clingy. You can slack elsewhere or have a few holes in your game but being clingy or needy will end your shit quicker than you know. Many a times I've heard from girls that meet some dude for lunch or something simple, and the guy is already blowing up her phone 24/7. Casual hang out does not equal instant relationship...your still working your way up the ladder.

I went through a situation just like yours bearing similar mistakes as yours..here is what i did(this was back in the training days so excuse the lack of details):
-Changed up my attitude quick, she was not on the top of my list... I broke a date like 20minutes before it was to be had. Instantly changed things there, wish i had the context as all i can remember was she was in total disbelief of what happened. *Do not do this with a serious date, especially if the chick had to call off work or something of that nature* -besides you can consider it done then if she made a move like that....
-Next time I hung out with her, I really tried to bring my A-game. Things were back in business. I kino'd a few times and she later returned contact.(especially when I teased her).

^^^ I still continue to be not-readily-available