Ok, i have a bit of a conundrum here. I am 17 years old and i am engaged to an hb8. The problem is, im starting to finally develop the PUA mindset that if this relationship doesnt work, i can always find another one. The problem is, im 17 and i have all this potential to let my PUA skills prosper and i feel like im stuck in this one relationship letting my skills become stagnant. But i don't want to lose what i have, i really do love her. And i don't really like the idea of cheating, but is there anyway i can keep both, or is there better solution to my situation?

Bone

No, you're just afraid of losing what you have. There's a difference between love and scarcity mentality.

then define love for me. I define it as giving some1 the power to destroy you but trusting them not to. I may be wrong but its my love for her thats kept me from doing anything and will continue to keep me from doing anything.

Love is way beyond PUA. PUA is pretty much about B-A-N-G-I-N'. Most on here seem opposed to it. That is where my form of PUA differs from theirs. I have been compared to a beautiful rose that takes all that is given to it and leaves much joy for those who come across it. That has nothing to do with my looks which are astounding (to say the least). No, it is because when you are in my presence you feel love. Love is all around. That is love. So I suggest that you work on being love rather than looking for love. Write that down. BE LOVE.

Remember, quit looking for love. BE LOVE. It works. Nobody gives you love - You ARE LOVE. Destroy your ego and your emptiness becomes LOVE! So, I leave you with my song. From me to you. The greatest pop sensation of the 90's - The Swiss Guru of Love - DJ Bobo.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lsT-80QMWA[/youtube]

PUA isn't against love. Just Love is a pretty much nonexistant thing in and of itself.



Basically, do what makes you happy. If this 'love' makes you happy, stick with it. Pickup can help keep the relationship strong. If this 'love' isn't making you happy, then drop it and move on.

PU is about honesty, not just with others but with yourself.

_________________
Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

you’re fast becoming a currency in my PUA transactions!

just want to add that love is not the absence of hate and it’s even more ironic that PUA has nothing to do with hate but is about being a better, fun person that engages easily with people

Repeated for the truth.

You're clearly not ready to understand, so there's really no point in trying to explain it to you.

It's your desperation and fear of losing what you have that has kept you from doing anything and will continue to keep you from doing anything.

at 17 I doubt you have had much chance to do anything, plus you aren't married yet and have doubts. Sounds like bad news to me.

AlsoI have been thinking about love recently and it reminds me of a quote (probably misquoted) "When people say life is hard, I ask compared to what?". The same applies for love the average guy cold approaches under ten times in his life so to find love in that many approaches/relationships seems unlikely. So yar I see PUA as a way to find the perfect(ish) match for me, in 59 approaches I have found 3 women I would like to get to know better.

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Troll the trolls
free book http://www.4shared.com/file/123140320/b ... ndows.html

I think love does exist...as a set of chemical reactions in the brain and body.

I've been in long term relationships and I've had one night stands, and I'll tell you this, I get the same feeling in my gut when there is reciprocal attraction between both parties involved. What does that mean? That means that my feeling of love fades when that feeling in my gut fades, which takes about, oh, depending on the situation, usually 3 to 4 months.

Part of the problem is that guys are hard wired to spread the seed, and the idea of marriage goes against the natural instinct to reproduce and secure posterity.

Don't get me wrong, I do believe the IDEA of love exists, I just don't think you'll find it at 17. I also think that pick up will help you find your idea of love, which is a women SO PERFECT that you don't really need another one. Don't let companionship settle you down...especially for an hb8.

There's a reason you want to be a PUA, so don't lie to yourself.

You want the 10's.

Breaker

It is almost impossible for a young male to BE LOVE. That is why girls your age all want much older guys. When you are a young male you are fighting. Constantly fighting. You are especially fighting the feminine part of you that is needed in order to BE LOVE. That is why many of you don't believe in the concept. Some of the earth's greatest men (Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, etc.) were very feminine. That doesn't mean they were gay (the typical gay man is extremely masculine), but it does mean that they were not aggressive and competitive. They were child-like in their innocence and purity. I suggest that more men go back to being children. That is when you feel the blossoming of love.

***Remember, my definition of masculine/feminine and child-like are a bit different than how most define them. Some cultures are very masculine. Some are not. It has nothing to do with sexual preference. One can be very much a child and be totally mature.

America is a VERY masculine culture. Even females in America are very aggressive and dominant. It is part of the culture. That is why females in America seem so loud and bossy compared to many other cultures. Traditional PUA is also VERY masculine. It is about dominating. It has nothing to do with getting girls. It is simply a form of dominance over others. I believe in a new form of PUA. A form of PUA where one does not dominate. Where one attracts by NOT being active.

I wont argue with you that there have been great thought leaders who were very docile... however I pose to you 2 questions:

How many/what quality of women did Jesus/Buddha/Mohammed get? To be honest I'm not familiar with the Qur'an however if you follow the stories told of the other 2 mens lives (which is also the only way we know to consider them child-like) the didn't have relationships or even sexual relations with ANY women.

Secondly the vast majority of these men influence happened AFTER their death...
If you want to become a great spiritual leader, then that is a fantastic goal... but why on earth would you be worried about dating then?

If you want to be a great spiritual leader, do away with all of your worldly possestions, resist the temptations of the flesh, love unconditionally and after you die your following may spread across the globe.

If your goal is not to be a great spiritual leader then perhaps modeling someone who has been successful at the things you wish to do with your life is the answer.

Expat I'm glad to see you've stepped away from bashing everything and have started offering advice along with your trolling... but as you convey your message that passive is best it may be wise to remember that passive and passive aggressive are not the same thing.

I would like your advice, not criticism. Why do you find it so hard to believe that i love her and am not simply afraid of losing her. I being with someone else would make her happy, i would let her go to be with that person. I would be upset, don't get me wrong but i would want her to be happy even if it wasnt with me. I don't like trying to prove my love for her to you guys, but i want you to see that there's a lot more between us then just fear of losing one another. I'm not having doubts, i'm just realizing my opportunity costs and wondering if i really have to leave them behind to be with her, which i will do, i was asking for another route that would leave less costs and more opportunity. Trying to get the best deal out of life and wondering if someone could think of a solution i didn't see. Thanks for the responses.

we know you don't love her because you're contemplating other women.


You believe in the fantasy of love, and thus convince yourself its real for you now.

The both of you still have growing up to do, so you aren't even gonna be the same in 5 years.

All 'LOVE' is is euphoria and familiarity. The fact you're looking into PUA skills in the first place means the euphoria is leaving, but the familiarity, plus your socially programmed idea of love are the only thing really holding you two together.

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Every Saint has a Past, Every Sinner has a Future

There are three kinds of love according to sexual psychology (Yes, I took a class):

Companionship

Puppy Dog/Sweet Love

Passionate Love

I'm sure someone more well informed can lay out the proper name for these, but I'm not in the mood to google it.

Now the collection of all three types of love combined into love is called Agape, and this is more or less where you would find the PERFECT mate.

The bottom line is that if you had AGAPE then you wouldn't even contemplate pickup. It sounds like your brand of love falls short of agape, and is one of the above types of love or a combination of any two. Obviously you see pickup as the chance to game girls that would fit in the Agape category of love.

Also, you're 17 man. I can't remember how many times I told myself and other people I was in love when I was your age, but looking back on it now, several years later, I realize that there is actually wisdom in age. You'll see.

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There's a reason you want to be a PUA, so don't lie to yourself.

You want the 10's.

Breaker