Best I usually come up with after sex is: "Zzzzzzzzzzz..."

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"Do not follow to where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail"
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh shit! By reading this thread you will start to actually <i>think</i> about what to say after sex during the sex...

Unless you realize that you don't need to, and usually shouldn't say anything right after sex. You might feel like blurting out some average temporarily sexually releived chump shit (and I'm sure most of us have at some point).

Depending on the situation, just wait until:

A: an abundance of cuddlenapping
B: getting dressed quickly
C: tucking in your snakes on a plane, exiting the lavatory and taking your seats in the mile high club...

has occured so that normal conversation resumes.

"so why is this rubber thing leaking out of the end...."

"u did say you were on the pill yeah"

"that was......um.....well......different"

"So how much do I owe you..?"

"next time can we do it with the lights off?"

comforting is good after if u want her to be your gf
i personally like to joke around after cuz who doesnt like laughing
unless im tired as fuck and just want to sleep
but ill say things like "oh shit, was i suppose to put a condom on?"
obviously you say that you are kidding but things like that really make them laugh

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just have fun and you will never be dissapointed

it really does depend on the situation,

gf - what my girl coins snuggling, the act of laying their, exhausted, still panting and breathing heavily, sweating and with no desire to move unless its into an even more close proximity to ur partner

lover - ok so ur bit on the side par se, I would normally after sex, finish with me on top, kiss her on the forehead, then just ask if I can use shower. Your lover knows she isnt there for an emotional bond, just the animalistic chemical reaction of sexual attraction. If you have a lover who doesnt know she just a lover then ur doing it wrong. You should be able to get up and go after sex and it not be a problem. Sumtimes I stay over so it will be drinking anf smoking after and then pretty much at it all night anyway. Then the after sex comment in morning wud come from her "where do you want a life to?"

o.n.s - I usually do my job and ask for a cab number, occasionally taking her number at same time if I can be arsed.

potential gf - pillowtalk, lay cuddling, but not as close and passionate as snuggling (as above) chat a bit of CnF bout how amazing u were in bed etc suggesting meeting again for sum more of the same

bad shag - get up and just leave

really good shag - compliment her technique, especially if she good as head or summin. Tell her that she cud spend all day doing it for you, see if u can get her to. I have...

the shag that time forgot - when u wake up hummin and there sum girl in ur bed, or vice versa ur in her bed. In this situation, if I cant even remember having sex with her, I kinda hopin she was as wasted as me. I normally get up, use the facilities, i.e. shower, make sure coffee, watch sum tv.
I like to hang around until they get up and gauge their responses, these are the best moments life has to offer. When a girl walks into her front room and ur sitting there with nice cup of coffee, few slices of toast, with soccer am on tv and in her dressing gown n slippers, nothing beats it.
That will teach her for getting so crazy drunk next time lol.

booty caller - yes callers, I actually have couple of girls who ring me late at night for a post bar/club shag... If they come over steaming then I let them stay but if they drove here, they can drive away from here all the same lol.

your sister/mum - run and leave the country.....now!!!!!

Give her a 20 then say thanks and say the doors over there....

you can do this in one of two ways.
as a joke - be serious whilst waiting for the reaction... might be risky but if you got a dry sense of humour that she 'gets' she'll prob let you off after. or, the other way is not as a joke and just for a laugh, see what happens...
prob best to do that one whe you dont wanna see them again lol.

If ANYONE actually does this then PLEASE tell us what happened!

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P a s h
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Oh, or, an alternative to the above from a diff perspective, add up all the moves you did on her, what she did to you and give her the grand total. i.e.

basic sex - 500
head - 100
forplay @ 20/min - 20

total = 620

then, as apu from the simpsons would say - thankyou, cum again!

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P a s h
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"Hey, sooo... uhm, you're clean right?" Haha! I'm totally kidding, never say that!

Dependent upon who the girl is, how she knows you and what she defines you as there are a lot of different routes. For now, I'll go with the one night stand route as this is the most fun and common. I'm assuming if you're wondering what non-AFC thing to say after - this would be the realm we're working with. Let's try to make it analogous to something we all know - Football. You're Terrel Owens, you just scored and all of a sudden you decide to eat some popcorn and pull out a sharpie. That great play you just had is now completely negated by the ridiculous effort and display afterwards. In contrast, how bout the guy who scores, flicks the ball to the refs and plays it like he has been there before? Which one is perceived better? This should be the same approach with the girl. She just SLEPT with you, likely not dating you and knows you're gonna go do the same thing with a different girl next weekend. She doesn't wanna feel like a piece of meat. At this point, don't overthink and keep trying to one up her. You will always have the one up. Of course, don't let your game down; however, don't overthink it. You can get away without saying a word, rolling over kissing her cheek or hopping in the shower, but make it clear to her to play it calm. You're the man, don't put her down. Frankly, she'll respect you more for it too.

Haha, its funny cuz its true
Because its just that........funny.

Ask her if she normally screams that much; Tell her she was pronouncing your name wrong; Ask her if she wants a signed photo to go with the experience of a lifetime

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You're in the presence of a living legend! Where do I begin? Well... it started with the dancing... that's how the trouble always starts...

hahahah that was pure gold man

NLP post-sex is effective, induce good feelings to reinforce the behaviour.
The (text edited out by moderator for the follow violation: mentioning, condoning, or promoting the use of one or more forbidden patterns) is an example. Perhaps unethical, but it shows the effectiveness of NLP in that situation.

- Memento

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"Love is three quarters curiosity." ~Casanova
Hominem Unius Libri Timeo



Diploma in Clinical Hypnosis -- GHR & NHS

This is turning into a bad case of not respecting the woman you just slept with. Why would you wanna say anything even remotely ressembling a neg or anything negative to a girl who just gave you exactly what you wanted? You won! Reward her for it so that she will do it again...