An alternative perspective on long term confidence building.

I came to the community a little over a year ago. Like many of you I wasn't satisfied with aspects of my life and wanted to learn how to be good with women.
However a few weeks in it became apparent that there was simply too much information for me to possibly take in. Rather there was too much that my limited experience could relate to. In addition I couldn't see a point in learning all these new things if they couldn't fix my underlying limiting beliefs.

My approach has been not to focus on game at all and instead pay attention to other areas of my life. I reason that if everything else is taken care of my game will develop organically.

From the ground up

I set myself some long term goals, things to achieve within the next 10 years.
these include:
- A one man show in New York and London
- 5 one man shows in Australia
-To be a published artist
-Travel Europe

Art is a very competitive area and in order to achieve these goals I will have to work extremely hard and consistently and have unshakable self confidence.

To help this I've taken the following steps
-Moved out of home, at 19 this is scary but invaluable
-Begun to cultivate a close circle of like minded friends
-Started a fine art degree
-updated my wardrobe

Passion and Progress

As expected there wasn't an immediate jump in my self confidence but now a year on I can see the change. Art is what I wake up for each morning. Being able to live my passion gives me a tremendous sense of calm and purpose.
Overall things are very good and even if there were no women in my life I would be happy with the way I am and what I'm doing. Thus I have a platform to work from.

Developing game

I love theories and learning for it's own sake and PUA material is no different to any other theory. Even without practical application it's interesting to read.
As I've grown and learned in field through trial and error I've come to understand more of the community material.

Opening has become much easier and my conversational skills have improved. I've found that if you are talking about something that you really care about people respond warmly. I've also developed the following core beliefs:
-The world and the people in it are fundamentally friendly unless given good reason not to be.
-If you plan well and work hard you can do anything you want.
-To be a virtuoso within the confines of your own talent is the greatest thing you can achieve.

In summary

You've heard the expression balls to the wall right? And I'm guessing you've all seen a guy at some point who has that je ne sais quoi, that aura of confidence and warmth. There's no one stopping you from being that man. Figure out what you want and just do it, from the ground up if need be but just do it. I'm not there yet, not by a long shot but the journey has been awesome to this point and I fully expect it to continue like this.
Oscar Wilde put it best when he said
"To live is the rarest thing in the world, most people exist, that is all"
Once you start living, REALLY living then interacting with people becomes a joy and you can enjoy living by no ones expectations save your own.

All the best with your own journey however you undertake it.

_________________
"Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative" - Oscar Wilde

It was like i was reading something i wrote.

All the best to you, brother.

_________________
Whether you think you can, or whether you think you cant, you are right.
H. Ford

Sculptor,,, that was a really cool and well thought out post. I hope things really work out for you. I can see that you are approaching this game from the "natural" point of view. And that's great because it's real. It takes longer, but the results are better and there is no acting involved.

Hey man,, the only thing I would say, is that's a cool thing you are doing. But at the same time, it doesn't mean you have to turn your back completely on all PUA techniques. For the approach, it's great to get a handle on yourself and any issues that may be slowing you down. But at the same time,,, why not spend a couple of times and just go out and talk to every single girl you see?

It's not particularly natural, but it does work to show that AA is bullshit we create.

Either way, take care bro!

This looks a lot like the way I'm heading down.

Making art the purpose of life, rather than just a job, will boost your work like hell.
Besides, people with a purpose are far beyond all the others when it comes to attractiveness etc.

It's a bit scary, at least to me, but it's also extremely liberating.


So, Good Luck,
Tell us when you reach your goals

I graduated as animation major, work now as a graphic design intern. I really like digital sculpting myself and character animation. Although those type of jobs are not around where I live. Once I'm ready to apply though, I think I will do alright, been studying up on anatomy. I didn't change my warddrobe in college, but than again I didn't really have a social life either. I was stuck inside animating most of the time.

it sounds like you realize the importance of a solid identity and how it plays an important role in gaming. Additionally, however, there are a LOT of beliefs that are considered "common knowledge" and accepted by our culture as a whole. many of these beliefs are never questioned, but severely impair our ability to reach anything close to a core confident self. Tyler Durden's Blueprint identifies many of these limiting beliefs and systematically gives a push in the right direction for a cure. It's 20hours of video, but I noticed severe changes within the first 2 weeks, and would highly recommend this to you. I was in a similiar position, though only 2 months into being an active member of the community. (about as long as it took to realize game is not all about pickup lines and there was a lot more in life to learn here). Once i digested all the information I noticed instant changes in my game and often refer back to this series and other sources which now i realize how they help my overall progress. check it out, and good luck.