We all want to protect ourselves.
My own reason was that I systematically got hurt from failing to match people's expectations. I used to blame it on the girls for a long time.

Eventually, I decided to take responsibility for my feelings and stop running away from who I was. As opposed of trying to behave like my mother had always told me to. Which in turn, had always made me fail to captivate people. Never been happier.
Of course you are!

Evo-you talked about cooking...well one thing I can say, you probably know already...but cooking for a girl...(unless she is anorexic!), is a BIG turn on!

I have been cooked for a few times and it's almost like a kind of foreplay! A man who can cook...very sexy

I'm not flirting with you (don't worry!), just trying to tell you guys who may not know this, that it is a very good thing if you can cook and do so for a girl you like...doesn't even have to be a flashy meal!

North- totally agree, we all have to take responsibility for our own lives..I used to blame guys for hurting me, but now I know I let them and stayed in situations with guys that were bad for my self esteem...so now I know better and feel better for it, I can make choices about what I do and who with and I think sadly that some girls aren't that aware.

x

Oh I know! lol. Believe me, I know I have excellent cooking skills (I have and am currently teaching a friend of mine) and I know how it feels for the heat to rush over me in a kitchen while sautee'ing something. Personally though, I like to bake and make pastries with women. Unfortunately, in the beginning of the baking phases it takes an exact and firm hand (Which tons of women love to my suprise!)... but later on when you have things finished and your just layering your chocolate bavarian cream and your puff pastry you can have fun and play around.

With cooking it is all about the little things that make it fun. Such as teaching a woman how to crack an egg one-handed or showing her different ways to pipe on frostings ect... Anyone can cook a recipe. You gotta know what your doing to have fun (well have fun AND get it to come out good.)

Anyway... blah..

Something else that I found out that is excellent, Dancing. Take up atleast 1 form. Whether it be Ballroom or Swing or Salsa... take up one type of dancing because you can use it almost anywhere. And women equate Dancing to sex. Oh and all of it is a great form of kino.

*WARNING - Booty dancing is NOT a form of dance it is just a form of Kino. WARNING*

That is all lol.

P.S. Just remember Red... don't even hint at stuff like that cause half of us ARE here because we are socially inept.

Lol...bloody hell, you really do sound like you know what you're doing in a kitchen...good skills!

I think alot of guys could learn that...I think food and food preparation, like you described, is very sensual and erotic.

And dancing...OH YES!!! A man who can dance is sexy sexy sexy!
And exactly right, not just grinding up against a girl in a hot sweaty fashion! Proper dancing, shows you have rhythm and style...shows confidence. Alot of guys say they don't like to dance and many people in relationships seem to have this, they go somewhere like a club/party/wedding/whatever and the male partner doesn't want to dance...if you can dance, with or without a girl, it's very attractive.

Love it, yes, you do know the score!

I know. I'm hip, I'm cool. I drink coffee.

But outside of knowing how to Swing dance and being able to make a pear frangipane, I am the perverbial "babe in the woods".

I have a nasty bad case of AA and when I get around a HB I talk like I was an auctioneer and then if that seems to be going bad I do really stupid stuff. Like in this post (day2-troubles-vt5649.html). Dear god I screw it up quick lol.

But yeah, atleast I go down in flames like a gasoline soaked King Kong with a lighter fetish.

So, your here in the Self-help section for guys, why don't you help out! Go and give advice from the woman's point of view. The woman's point of view that isn't clouded with all that "Oh this is a buncha crap". We really will listen. Especially in the fashion section.

Like as follows:
I live in a smallIsh town and I am a guy... I have heard from a billion different sources that I should get 1 pair of really nice jeans. YOu know, the kind that are actually fitted to me and the correct cut. Not just a new pair of Wranglers. A pair that may cost me over 100$'s. I need to know what cut does what and what jeans come in what cuts and if i am Actually supposed to get them fitted. Where am I supposed to get these jeans? Do I need to drive 4 hours to the nearest REAL town to get them? Ect. Feed me advice woman!

EvoJ

I did venture to the Myspace queries on here, offered some feedback but no one has commented yet...I will take a look, am a bit nervous that guys may tell me to bugger off!

I can't speak for all girls..and I'm not an HB10 so not sure I can relate to how they think, but I can say what i think from my own knowledge and experiences.
I guess those who want to know more will listen, those who think they don't need help will tell me to get out!

Relax. You have mentioned this a couple of times in multiple messages. Look at it this way, if guys tell you to shove off because you are giving them advice everyone here will look at them crossways. Who better to give advice! But be aware you will get neg'ed a billion times a day as the hundreds of new guys a day come on and see a girl here.

So once again, Relax... we aren't women lol


And where is my jeans advice?!

and fashion wise...I say don't do black shoes with blue jeans..always brown/tan/trainers

Don't wear satin shirts (too girly for me!).
I could list loads of stuff I know my friends and I prefer, but it seems the peacocking thing is something alot of PUAs like. I personally am not into guys wearing garish clothes, but I know Mystery has alot fo joy with it lol

I like a guy to look like he is clean (hygiene wise!), short hair or shaved/bald...prefer no facial hair, am not really into facial piercings...don't mind ears pierced and a nice stud. I am not into designer labels all over the place, just looking nice and cool or smart, depending on where they are. Not a fan of chinos and all that!

When it comes to cut of jeans...just don't do the baggy, showing your pants like a teenager thing! It's sexy to be able to see a man's bum and thighs...doesn't mean wear them skin tight, but a nice cut, not flashy is good.

I have a thing for guys arms...so showing or drawing attention to them is nice. Not into guys wearing sunglasses indoors, looks posey and pretentious (like you think you're too cool for school).

Don't trust a man who talks to you but won't look you in the eye! Ooops, no sorry, that's for girls! lol

x

Thanks for what you said...yeah, you aren't women, they can be bitchy, but men can too! I saw comments on a picture on here and boys can be MEAN! lol

Just teasing.
I don't mind being negged, I find it kinda funny when it's done well, it's a skill to neg well I think.

Further to the jeans advice, well jeans are something one tends to wear often (am in mine now!) and so I would say, go get a nice pair, a pair you FEEL you look good in...if you feel it, you probably do look good in them. And that's what it's about with clothing surely? That it makes you feel good...therefore, act more confident.
The cost is irrelevant I find, so many shops sell jeans these days, you don't have to get designer pairs and spend loads, but as I say, I would say to avoid baggy jeans, too pale blue ones and too high waisted ones!

Does that help?
xx

But what about the specific cuts of jeans? Like what is boot-cut for or Pipeline or .... ect...

I mean, please explain what they are AND what they do for the body. Because they each do different things. I just don't know what it is.

Remember, we are guys... we don't know any of this stuff you are taught from freakin birth. (Like the shoes thing.. I am CURRENTLY wearing black shoes with my jeans.. lmao.. )

And Remember, peacocking isn't about silk shirts and a hat that is 20 ft tall with blinking read lights that says "Watch me pull a rabbit outa my pants". It is just about having a woman notice you in a crowded room. Isn't there any fashion or clothing advice that you can give along the lines of "It always attracts my eyes right off but then I realize it just looks good!"



WTF is a Chino?

What about sunglasses on the top of the head while inside as a "Place to put them"?

You said that arms are a nice thing for you.. what about :
Watches
Bracelets
Man-rings
Arm-bands
Wife-beaters (the shirt )
Tattoo's
Tans


Ect..

there are so many things that I am sure all of us would love to know.

YAR!

*This is an edit because we are posting 2 posts ahead of each other lmao..*

YES that does help! and anything extra like what was in this post is appeciated.

Oh and was the picture the one with the Guy and the two girls and the poor body language? Cause that one is for educational purposes only! That wasn't any person on here it was just to teach correct and poor bodylanguage.

And it is time for me to go for the day so Cya tomorrow everyone

Hmmm, I'm only 21! I feel like a youngin' in here.

On the subject of dancing, I totally agree. Girls love dancing, it's something they all like to do and they can all relate to. I've been break dancing for about a year (which means I'm still a total noob in that type of dance. Breaking takes a very long time to learn and get good at). I'm thinking about taking Ballroom Dancing for one of my college Wellness courses this year. Definitely a winner.

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"No good deed goes unpunished" -Rick H

Lol...no, there was a picture of a guy, a bit overweight..and he was surrounded by girls, then all the guys were commenting on rating each girl and they didn't come off that well...poor girls probably have no idea their pic is posted on this site! They look young, like students..

OK...clothes wise etc...

Tans are good...sexy...but do NOT go orange..ickedy ick! Any guy who looks like he spent two hours getting ready just can look too vain.

Things I notice are nice teeth...clean and white (NOT Ross in Friends dazzling white as per one episode!).
Suits are sexy...but depends where you are, can look out of place ...if wearing a suit, a nice white shirt goes a long way...simple, sexy, effective!

Standing out in a crowd...this would do it for me...not many British guys, unless coming out after work, go out in suits!
Chinos are I think like slacks there?? Pale beige baggy-ish trousers, bit too prim and preppy (I'm using American slang like I know what it all means lmao!).

No offence about the black shoes with blue jeans thing, but I think tan shoes look much better and darker blue jeans are good.

I like men wearing a necklace or bracelet...chunky silver...just classy and tasteful...not a medallion! lmao

A nice watch is noticeable as men's watches are more chunky than girls and it adds to the masculine thing...
Cuts of jeans...well years ago I worked in a jeans shop (YEARS AGO!) and I think drain pipe are too slim in the leg, can make a slim guy look skinny...bootcut are nice, they sit well over boots and shoes/trainers.

Straight leg is probably best...tan shoes...not lace ups, sexy.

I keep thinking what would make a guy stand out in a crowd...I think walking in with head held high, not drunk, smart and cool, nice hair and a big smile is good...you know I keep saying it, but smiling really does seem to be a huge sign of confidence and sexiness.

Men always say they don't want a girl to look moody and sulky, and are more likley to go for the girls having a laugh...same with men I think.

Arm bands...hmmm, not sure, what do you mean by them? I'm picturing swimming armbands! lmao

Tattoos can be very sexy (I like alot)...as long as not racist/anti-semitic/Nazi/I love Mum kind of tatts! lol

I'll add more soon....

Breakdancing is very sexy and impressive, but it's good to know how to dance WITH a girl too...breakdancing is an impressive dance but more like a sport you do alone with people watching...girls like it, but they can only stand and watch...if you can move well on a dance floor, a girl will want to dance with you, up close to you, be seen dancing with someone who knows how to twirl her around without knocking her out! lol

Salsa is a good one...sexy dance and fun too, can easily be done in a club without looking out of place unlike Ballroom more traditional dances.

Back up to the sunglasses on head thing...hmmm...personally i would say at night time...NOOOO! But in the day, yes can look OK, place to put them...

When an attractive girl meets me halfway or there abouts, I consider it intelligent and it gives me that little bit of intel I need to properly access the situation and how I should handle it. Sure it takes an incredibly confident woman to do so, and these are quite rare when dealing with strangers in public.

But it beats the hell out of just throwing yourself at every attractive women that comes along, and the beating your ego takes.

Most women judge me as a dick first, person second. And I'm just the opposite in reality. Contrary to popular belief all men are not the same. And I find this throws a lot of women off. Especially the younger, less experienced ones. It can make for a confusing situation especially without a certain amount of commonality which has always been difficult for me in my line of work. Of course most women date within their social circle, which is very limiting indeed. I understand they do this for safety reasons.

I like nothing less than to feel like I'm forcing my attention or affections onto a woman. And nothing worse for guy than sticking your foot in the door, and getting it suddenly slammed in your face because 'creepy' is the label strangers, or everyone outside her social network automatically acquires.

This led me to shy away from approaching women for years. After all, I'm a man not a therapist and I'm in no position to solve all of her problems for her, the ironies of her upbringing or misconceptions about the opposite sex. Of course this is a two way street.

It can be a very confusing enterprise. Where the roles have become very confused.

Guys are usually poor at reading signals. Signals that to another woman are rather obvious.

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