Hey guys,

I guess I'd be classified as an AFC, but have been slowly changing my ways and realizing that I can no longer rely on chicks coming to me like I did in my younger days. (I'm 24)

Anyway, decided to join POF this week and sent out a few generic messages, one read deleted by a HB8.5, another read with no response, and the rest still unread.

So I put together a favorites list and decided to take my time working through it. The first is a cute little 7.5, who had a scrunched up mean face on in her profile pic. with the caption "My face RIGHT before I punch you in the mouth". She was the only one to favorite me back, so decided to message her when I noticed that she changed her main pic.

"I haven't been able to help noticing you mean mugging me every time I log onto this crazy website. It looks as if you've changed your tone though, and are now looking a little friendlier... Which means I must have won whatever type of internet scuffle we were in, and am no longer in danger of being punched in the mouth.

So I figured I'd say hi."

Her response:
"that's what you think
i kinda lure you in first and then BAM, popped in the mouth.

how are you?"

Me:
"I'm doing pretty well... Although a little green, as I'm brand new to this thing. Do you meet my mom now, or am I supposed to send you one of these cute emoticons on the right first?

How about you? 'Do you come here often?' "

She responded to the first in 2min, I responded in 10, then didn't get anything back.

I tried to keep it light and goofy, but feel like the 'do you come here often' thing at the end might have been off putting.

Recoverable or let this one go?

What up AFCism, I'm gonna try to break this down for you based on the system I've been using at POF. I hope other people come in and throw their thoughts down too because I'm just one guy
When you say generic message do you mean that you used the same one for each girl or that you sent out like a, "Oh you're gorgeous" type message like every other guy messaging her? Using the same message for every girl is fine as long as it's cool and unique. It's also important to use a subject line that catches her attention as girls can receive dozens of messages a day. There are some good examples of openers in the forum here, such as the Mirror Opener and "Perfect Internet Game (Whoa)".

I don't favorite girls before I message them. I think this is giving your power away and they might think you're too scared to just message them.
I like it! This is totally my style. That being said, the part about you having seen her face on the site so many times sends out the message that you're not a man of action. It's like if you walk up to a girl in a bar and say, "I've been trying to work up the courage to talk to you all night." I'm not saying it won't work in certain circumstances, but it's a bad habit.
She's playing along, seems interested
IF she is intending to not reply (she might just be waiting to e-mail you back), I think you showed too much interest here. This is a tricky subject because in online game you're always showing some interest right off the bat just by messaging her,
but the talk about meeting your mom, even in a joking tone, was probably a little bit too far. There is also what some people might call a "DLV" (demonstration of lower value) in your opening line, "I'm pretty well BUT I'm also nervous and new to this".

Instead of responding logically to her question of "how are you?", it may have been a better idea to be more exciting and funny by responding to her message with something like: "Oh man I didn't realize you were so violent, I'm not sure I can even risk talking to you anymore/you're the type of girl my mom warned me about/etc/etc". This serves the dual purpose of keeping the energy high and disqualifying her as not your type which removes the issue of showing too much interest too soon.
Time isn't always everything online. I have had girls read my opener and then sit on it for a week before e-mailing me back. She could just be taking her time getting back to you.

If she responds you're doing fine but if she doesn't I'd just abandon the thread. Spend the time sending messages to 5-10 other girls instead!

Hey dude, thanks for the play by play. I totally agree with you, but wasn't even close to thinking this way when I responded. I knew the opener was solid, and figured I'd keep being kinda goofy and sort of indirectly make fun of both of us for being on a dating site, but your route I think would probably have been a much better way to go. There is definitely a hint of 'OK, what is supposed to happen now? Let's hurry this along' in my response, even if it was in a joking matter.

If she does wind up responding I should be able to get back on track pretty easily I think. I checked out the 'Perfect Internet Game' and a few others and took a lot from them.

Your feedback on my response is exactly what I was looking for. I'll mail a few new girls over the next couple days and try to fix those errors.

Thanks again.

AFCism

I think you lost a lot of points here. WHen you say you're brand new,,, it lowering your value. She's been around the block, and with her profile, likes to play. You admit you are green.

That's more of a tactic you would use on someone who is either very shy or also very new.

The whole flow of your messages was great at first then fizzeled off. So make sure you don't respond till you have something really cool or fun to say.

POF is a numbers game. Don't focus in too much on any one lady. They get 50 messages a day.