The gist of what I wanted to convey with this story is right here:
Quote:
I thought I had to be an example to my friends that you don't have to take a bunch of crap from women. I thought I had to punish her for disrespecting me in such a vulgar way. And by the time I came around to the idea that maybe, just maybe, none of that shit matters and what's important is being with the person you're madly in love with, she had finally given up on me and found somebody new. This is how ego can crush you.
Once you develop yourself to a certain point in this "game," there comes a time (and usually a special woman along with it) where it's not only appropriate but necessary to shed the rules and principals that governed your interactions with the opposite sex and defined your reality in terms of attracting them. Those rules and principals eventually become cumbersome and limiting rather than helpful, and the point of my original post was to make others aware of this fact so they could recognize that time when it came.
In the absence of the chat, I've been scrounging around the internet for other things to occupy my time at work. While doing so, I stumbled upon a note I wrote on Facebook about a year and a half ago discussing a similar topic. Though my perspective has changed a little since I wrote this, many of the points are still valid to the discussion. Give it a read if you want:
Quote:
Throughout history the underlying premise of mankind's greatest love stories has always been one of sacrifice. From Romeo and Juliet in Shakespeare's time to the love stories embraced by our generation such as The Notebook, the best of the genre always involves the main characters finding their "one true love" and thereafter sacrificing something (or everything) important to them in order to keep it, often overcoming ridiculous odds to do so. These characters seem to participate in this exchange without hesitation, never doubting that what they are doing is completely justified by the feelings they have for the object of their affection. The message is clear and it resonates with any person who has a soul: complete, true love is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and nothing, including your dignity or honor, is above parting with in the name of holding on to it.
It is in this regard that I am reminded of the often-used cliche "life imitates art," because if that statement holds true it follows that the same principals espoused by these great love stories should also apply to our relationships here in the real world. As anyone who's ever thought they were in love but wound up alone can tell you, that is most certainly not the case.
The truth is that, while all anyone really wants is to have a relationship so fulfilling and faultless that both parties have no inhibitions in terms of the lengths they will go to preserve it, those who are willing to surrender their dignity in order to do so once they have that relationship are very few indeed, if they exist at all. Our pride lends credence to the belief that any attempt to reclaim love after the relationship comes to an end makes us look pathetic and weak; the irony therein being that it is actually evidence of great strength and conviction. But we cannot sleep with our ego. It won't comfort us when we are down; it will not fill the place in our hearts reserved for that "special someone." It wouldn't even exist if we didn't permit it to. So are we really to believe that forfeiting this useless idea in return for the love of that one special person isn't a worthwhile exchange?
I would ask anyone who reads this to take an honest look at their romantic history. How many times have you thought you had a good thing with someone, only to have the relationship end for whatever reason, and then never speak to them again? And in the aftermath of those relationships, how many times did you silently hope that they would call you, or come over, or do anything to prove that the time you spent together wasn't just in your head--that those blissful events and feelings you remember actually existed for both of you?
The tragic conclusion of this note is painfully clear: your former significant other was almost certainly hoping for the same thing from you and if only one of you had done it, the useless dignity you yielded to do so may well have produced an experience worthy of becoming the basis for the next great love story.
The bottom line is, at the end of the day nobody (including you) is going to care whether you "stuck to your guns" and "taught that girl a lesson" or not. These things only exist because you allow your ego to dictate them to your mind.
All that should truly matter in your world should be who or what makes you happy. Don't let your ego scare you out of hanging on to it.
Your boy,
870
CHAT
just gotta sort out that 1%.
