And it happened again today. I found a really interesting and a really pretty girl on craigslist (easily long term gf quality), I invited her for a coffee after I guess way too many emails, we had a very engaging and interesting chat, and nothing more happened.

I think I was pre-friendzoned before she even met me. She seemed to have enjoyed her time with me, but I don't think she felt any attraction at all, and I didn't really know where to start building it. She's not a party girl, more a calm and perhaps even introverted type, so the whole conversation was not terribly energetic. Eye contact 50% of the time, pretty much zero kino.

Well, that one is pretty much lost, I'll stay in contact with her, as she would be a great addition to my social circle, but I'd hope this pattern won't continue indefinitely. Another try tomorrow with another craigslist girl (this one more extroverted and flirtatious but much less attractive, it's mostly training anyway).

Any helpful hints how to build some attraction in a scenario like that?

JSmooth has a whole thred dedicated to Online Dating... read thru his responces as he has addressed issues very similar to this a bunch of times.

Other than that, like you said a lot of this is just practice, but Kino in my experiance is super hard at coffee since your just sitting across from each other.

But sometimes unavoidable if your not in charge of the venue location...

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150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

Any ideas for casual and non-threateningly sounding venues that give better chances of escalation? Asking an online girl for "a coffee" seems to have much higher success rate than asking her for "a date", or for anything fancy I tried.

coffee, movie, dinner

these are standard answers... and usually not good for escalation, which is why they are traditionally not good day 2 venues.

Fun and original is what your going for... how bout mini golf? or a simple walk in the park, Lazer tag... hell i even have heard of one guy that would take girls shopping in the grocer...

with a bounce all ready planned if things are going well... i.e. attraction and kino are going well your getting a good vibe... ok NOW bounce to coffee or grabbing something to eat.

the trick is that your meeting someone your not sure of... so public non-threatning places are a must.. which is why coffee works well.

Some people you cant get around that... and will have to work with what you get. I would say the reverse then... if the vibe is good.. you can be like "hey, im almost done here... wanna head to (insert bounce)..." and get to a location thats not so traditional.

just a thought
Lucky[/quote]

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150 people are killed every year by Falling Coconuts.... 10 by Shark Attack.

I couldn't find any stats on death from approaching a woman.

You need more places to bounce to.

Here's my script:

1) Meet for starbucks in a mall.
2) Walk around the mall
3) Go in stores and try stuff on. Kino kino kino. You look good in that. That is an awesome candle holder! OMG look at those funny people!
4) Go to park. More sensual kino (if possible/practical), otherwise hold hands, etc.
5) Go to my place to see this awesome movie that I'd been building up even before #1 above.

Don't stay too long in one place. If you think things are getting boring, go somewhere else! That's why I like malls - it's a hundred stores under one roof. BTW, any time you need to get into the car to bounce - there's no need to tell her exactly where you're going. Talk about mystery and building suspense!

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"A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes." - Mohandas Gandhi