I understand, I saw the structure there and went for it anyways and have now exchanged a few emails with this person. I was able to locate extra pics of her and put her at hb6.5.

i might be stuck in a rutt here though. we were talking music and i told her i was a fan of a certain band when i am really not so much. i know a little about the band but maybe not enough to keep it going much longer. how do i spin off this. the latest email to me goes something like this:

"Do you really like Jan3s Add1ction that much? I have a couple of tickets but dont know anyone that wants to go. If i bring people i want them to enjoy the music, not just be into me"

I could go somewhere with this, and I'm feeling a number close coming up soon. but i'm afraid conversation may stray to music and this band i dont have too much knowledge of. should i just start googling, that will delay my response. hmm... what to do.

Just be honest with her. If you don't know much about the band tell her. I would drag it out because she'll figure it out eventually anyways.

"I would tell her, you know they're a good band. To be honest I don't know a ton about them though. I agree that you should take someone with you that will enjoy the concert.

That reminds me of the time....(change subjects)"

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

ok, did the honest thing and went with a variation of your suggestion. thank you JSmooth!

i rolled off into me going to other types of concerts to show i like to be active in that area, then rolled off again by hinting a dive bar idea.

hb6.5 response to that:
"i only do dives if im not driving. live is always better because of the experience...if its a good one. but really when it comes to my heart..its all about house music. i feel it..it makes driving the best part of my day..and i have a lot of fun."

her responses seems kind of flat, dunno if i am losing my connection with her here. Note that her responses are usually flat so it could be just how she talks. i usually ask her a question but don't get a question from her in return. BUT, she keeps responding in a timely manner each time. i'm starting to lose patience and ready to just ask for her number on the next email and if she doesn't give it to me then just cut my losses because it seems i'm just spinning my wheels here. I may suggest going to an event this weekend and if she is interested to leave me her number(of course i'll word it nicely) What do you guys think?

Good idea to keep escalating. It is possible based on her resonse that we are loosing a bit of rapport with her. Escalating solves this one way or the other. Either she will commit to seeing you or she won't.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

dunno whats up this week i don't normally have interactions with 3 girls online in any given week but this is good.

ok, new scenario for me now. I sent one email to this HB8.5 on wednesday. She responds early last night with a pretty positive email. i see her response a few hours later and click on her profile but it is gone ("this user is not available") so... i go ahead and hit the reply button anyways.

I send her an email and said her profile was missing and went with some humor but I didnt put too much wordsmith into the body of the email because I wasn't sure she was ever going to receive it. so i send it and say something like "hope you haven't been vanished by a magician" along with the body of my email (was that AFC of me?)

Now, i see her profile is back up and edited so maybe it was offline for that reason. So i feel like i might have dropped the ball on this one. Would it be AFC of me to get back to her on Sunday if I don't hear from her or should i just wait out a little bit. this chick is pretty money so i dont want it to end so soon.

Also, when is a good time to reply? Immediately if you are online, wait a day, wait a few hours. what are the reply timeframes? or is it situational.

Thank you all, you have been great thus far.

Go ahead an follow up with her on Sunday if you need to. That is just being proactive.

You can reply as fast as you want. It really doesn't matter that much, waiting is generally not a good idea online.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

Great News Everyone!

I have some really exciting news for all of you. On Saturday June 6th, I will be hosting a one time super inexpensive workshop hear in Nashville. One of the biggest complaints from guys I talk to is that they can't afford any structured Workshop because of the tough times. With most guru's charging in the thousands or hundreds I can understand.

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If you don't sign up in advance I can't garauntee you a seat. I always encourage walk-ins, but I have a feeling we are going to run out of seats quickly.

I am really excited about to offer this to you all, and I hope to see you there.

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

You've been great JSmooth...

I would totally rock this workshop if it wasn't so far away anyone local to you should absolutely check it out.

hey jsmooth.. i posted this a week ago and i was told to come to you!

so i went back home for the spring break and i saw this girl from back in high school. actually saw her alot and even till now we still talk over aim or fb, video chat, and especially texting. so the situation is i probably eventually want this HB to be my girlfriend..

she talks alot about future plans when i do come around town and where shes going to college next which will be somewhat close. the online deal is all the same, exchanging music, etc. etc. but she does subtly mention sex every now and then sometimes by blatantly saying it or sending me those online test (where they calculate how pure you are and shit). any advice on gaming long distance?

shes real good at push pull.. how should i take this on?

This is a little different since this mostly deals with what we call "one itis" in that you are pretty much stuck on this one girl. I actually don't know a lot to tell you because she's already made up her mind about you.

You see in all the time that she has known you and all the time that you have interacted with her you have been doing things that pretty much put you firmly in the friend zone. Even though she might talk about sex or send you those tests it is not a lot to go on by itself.

When you are trying to break out of the friend zone with girls I typically recommend that during your next few physical interactions that you amp up the kino escalation and also start putting in the attraction spikes. Since you have comfort we are trying to rebuild attraction to equal a dating relationship. Then when we think we have attraction built we can escalate physically to see if we get the old "Let's just be friends speech" or she allows it to escalate.

Since you are long distance you can't escalate physically and only mentally. You can certainly start using push/pull tactics, DHV spikes, and being more non-needy still I think you'd be better off finding a new girl. I know that is not what you want to hear. However, you can start fresh with a clean slate and do things right with someone new which is much easier.

Good luck on your journey,

Jon

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

ill put your advice to work.. thanks dude

You are welcome.

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

I just joined this dating site plenty of fish, so I'm new at sarging online. I noticed a whole lot of women put that they're looking for a "NICE GUY"? They're not, right?

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"-Emerson

Depends on your definition of a nice guy. But I know what you mean. No they don't want a nice guy. "most women" really don't know exactly what they want, then again same thing with most men. I have had really good girl friends of mine tell me they want a nice guy. Yet, they keep ending up with guys that are complete jerks. You just can't explain it right...or can you.

That is one thing about the power of attraction that people have a hard time realizing. When you are attracted to someone you just can't help it. Hence, "Attraction is not a choice." The power of attraction is more powerful than logic, reasoning, or even past experiences. Either she is attracted to you or she won't be.

Luckily, you know already or have access to the knowledge to make her attracted to you.

~Jon~

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Been around the world twice, Talked to everyone once...

What up J

What are some tactics you use for getting girls who send short/closed replies to open up? ie. you message a girl and she responds with boring one-line answers. Obviously there is some interest there or she'd just read+delete.