Changing my social circle



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 6:17 pm 
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Well, before I was even into pick-up I had the idea to redo my social circle back in high school. The way I got "in" with a "higher social circle" was sort of a shoe-in. Here is kind of how it happened:

When I went to high school, I knew nearly nobody in that school (my class was about 616 people, so relatively big). I made friends with quite a few people, but it took me my whole freshmen year to realize they weren't quite the "popular kids". I decided, just for the experience of school, that I wanted to be in the "popular group", but I didn't know how to go about it.

My sophomore year of high school, this gorgeous girl moved in about three doors down from me. After a few months, she had made friends with the popular girls. I finally grew a pair and decided to start talking to her at the bus stop. One day in class, a random girl ame up to me and asked if my name was Vegas. I said yes it was and she said "Oh, so you're the cute boy XXXXXXX is always talking about?"

Eventually XXXXXX and I started dating and I was introduced to her friends and the guys she was hanging out with. This was the "popular group". She moved away a year later and we broke up on mutual terms, but I kept her friends and ended my high school career in the "popular group"

It had both it's pros and cons. On the Pro side, you meet some people you would have never thought to talk to or hang out with. To this day, some of the those guys I met are my closest friends. In high school, the popular kids seem to be the attractive ones, so you become used to being around desired girls. The Cons: I lost some good friends who claimed "You changed!" or "Oh, so now you're to cool for us?".

I will say however, being in this group gave me a sense of confidence and cockiness that I still have today.

Best advice for going "up" in social groups is to be relaxed and have a sense of humor. Humor is your best friend, always. You know a girl in that circle, so use her to get there. Make her laugh and always have a good time and she'll start talking about you. Like it was sugested earlier, take her somewhere with some of your friends and make it memorable for her... obviously I don't mean try to impress her. If she has a blast with you, she will probably talk about her experiences/adventures with you to her friends and you will get status through her.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 1:53 pm 
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Thanks alot guys.. your help means a lot to me :)

I know its not going to be easy but I will try and the thing is I know a LOT of people in college, you know as your walking you'll say "alright mate" "how you doing?" just to random people you know, this gives you a lot of social proof.

I turned round and said to HB I might come chill with you guys more often your pretty koool ;) and then she said well my friends always make new people feel welcome. So thats good :)


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:35 am 
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You want to find confident and self-secure friends... as a teenager.

Seriously, as a teenager you can Chill or Stress.
If you stay on top of your situation people will notice you, and if you're social people will get to know you.
The more people you know, or more precisely the more people that know you, or want to know you, the more attractive you'll be in a Social School Setting.

(At least that's my Theory.)

Just model the Alpha-dogs, not their looks but their ways of thought, their word-view, their Frame... or similar metaphors.
And do your own shit.

You'll find the friends that suit you best as you socialize more.
And Jocks.... not to shit on your cake, but are you sure these are the ones you want to be your social circle ?

I mean; what is it you really want from your social circle ?

think about it.
What is it you're seeking to change here ?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2009 6:01 pm 
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I hear ya man I am in a similar situation now. All my friends that have been my friends for so long have been getting into drugs n shit.. Best to make new ones in a bad situation
I'm in that exact situation. Since I joined the wrestling team my circle (basically the punk/rebel crowd) has become more distant from me. Ive become more interested in exercise and i quit smoking cigs, smoking weed, dipping, basically everything bad for you except for the occasional beer. Since I stopped doing all that weve become distant and I dont really kick it with them anymore. They still come to school fucked up, skip lunch to get fucked up, and then get fucked up after school. And I just dont want to be near that anymore so I mostly just kick it with friends from the wrestling team (which are mostly freshman but I dont really give a fuck I only have 2 months of high school left lol) and I'm about to date a girl from the basketball team whos one of the hottest girls in my grade but not neccesarily one of the most popluar because of her BA attitude lol.

I am trying to kick it with another senior wrestler whos the strong silent type. Hes in with all the cool kids because he was on the football team and he placed 8th in states. I just dont know how to get him to want to chill.. its weird lol :?


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