So - this is the first of many weekly field reports I shall be writing...

Field Report #1

A couple of weeks ago, on Saturday night, in a lively bar with a band I was initially approached by an average looking guy as I walked across the dance floor. I was smiling and he caught my eye and asked if I was laughing at his tank top because his friends found his outfit offensive. I laughed and said “well it’s not particularly youthful” he maintained eye contact and smiled in a friendly and approachable manner. “But feel the quality of the fabric” he said – motioning for me touch his chest. In suggesting this contact in a casual way it brought us closer together physically and emotionally in a very short space of time it felt mildly intimate for a second. He turned to his friends (demonstrating he was a popular likeable guy) and said
“Look at this girl, shes got amazing style and she likes my top” ( girls LOVE it when you compliment their outfits – or even take an interest) – In introducing his friends he made it look like he wasn’t targeting me souly it seemed like he was intent on having a fun and sociable evening and pulling girls was not a priority. He turned to my friend to include her and carried on the same theme. At no point did he offer to buy us a drink or make us feel pressured to stay with his group of friends. He kept the conversation light and amusing. It didn’t feel like he was directly flirting with us. He became excited when a particular song played and pulled us both and his friend onto the dance floor. He was fun and outgoing and it was entertaining. He indicated other girls on the dance floor that he found attractive which made him seem as though he wasn’t directly flirting with us, but giving us the impression that he liked women. He was complimentary about these girls in a non sexual way, I like it when men talk nicely about other women it makes you believe they are nice guys and you can imagine them talking about you like that. He then pointed to a girl in a short dress and low cut top and said she “wants me” - this made him seem confident and desirable. He smiled at her and she came over to dance with him. He danced with her for a few seconds whilst maintaining eye contact with me and making a comedy terrified face. He then mouthed “save me” and held out his hand. I pulled him away and in doing this he made me fell like we were co conspirators it felt like we were working together it almost made me feel like I’d won. Within only a small amount of time he built up a friendship. The rest of the evening carried on in this way. At the end of the night he asked my friend and I to come back to his hotel with him and his friend. I said we had to catch a bus. He seemed very disappointed and almost angry, he said “I won’t try anything, I value your friendship too much, and I am hurt that you would suggest that I would.” My friend was very keen to return, she said “I believe he’s genuine, I think they’re nice guys – if they were going to try anything they would have done it by now.” They had built up this level of trust through the evening and she was sold. I told her to take a number and see them again in a more neutral setting than their hotel room. The fact he became slightly moody gave me a bad feeling. We said goodbye and walked away. As we walked to wards the bus, I heard footsteps behind. They appeared and picked us up and threw us over their shoulders, it was fun and light and my friend was keen to go along with this but I stood my ground. This tactic worked on her but I felt at this point it was too much. When a girl says no don’t try and pursue it. It’s unattractive and after a while can become quite scary. Fear is the absolute last emotion you want to induce in a woman.

Field Report #2


A couple of months ago - it was after work on a Friday night and I was waiting for a train at a busy underground station reading a book. I was sat on the bench next to a well dressed guy. The train had been delayed for twenty minutes and the platform was quickly filling up. The display starting flashing and read next train in five minutes. The guy caught my eye and started to speak. I thought he was going to say “ so what are you reading” – I hate it when guys ask this because you know they don’t really have any interest at all. It feels fake and it usually makes for awkward uncomfortable conversation as they try and feign enthusiasm. Infact what he said was “ we need to formulate a plan, otherwise there is no way you and I are getting on this train, we need to work together and play to our strengths, what can you bring to the table” I liked they way he referred to us as ‘we’ it was instantly bonding and I liked his creativity. I said “ I am the hardest girl in my town, I can fight whilst you push through” We continued to discuss this in character until the train arrived. The train drew in to the platform and the commuters started to edge towards the doors there was so many people it was actually very claustrophobic and there was a rising sense of panic as people desperate to get home pushed forward. He escalated the sense of drama and I liked how he assumed the heroic role. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the doors. I started to lose hope of actually getting on and shouted “ I’m too weak – save yourself ” He squeezed my hand and shouted theatrically into the crowd “ I wont leave without you, we are in this together we’re a team. I wont lose you again” he fought his way on and as the doors started to bleep and close he dragged me up on to the train. Ridiculous as it sounds the whole experience was hugely bonding and the sense of drama heightened his attractiveness. I liked how he referred to us and we. I liked his sense of fun and adventure in such a boring setting. He gave me his number and I thought about calling him.

Field Report #3

This Saturday nights approaches…. I was apprehended by a fairly young, well dressed guy in a busy night club as I stood alone waiting for my friend. He made immediate physical contact, grabbing my arm (too familiar) he told me it was his birthday and he would like a birthday kiss. I quite liked his confidence. I said “I may consider giving you a birthday kiss on the cheek if you give me a slice of homemade birthday cake” ( Note to boys: most girls genuinely like cake – they like eating it and they like talking about it) – I would have LOVED it if he had made some comment about baking a cake, perhaps describe it, ( this is because it would show that he is not afraid to admit to doing really unmasculine things like baking and it makes him seem more approachable, it conjures up a slightly silly image – he could have mentioned wearing a pinny or something ridiculous – it shows he is happy to mildly poke fun at himself. Girls like men that can cook they like hearing about cooking and ingredients and taste, they love it if men talk passionately about food, plus if they cook cakes that would be amazing!!. Alternatively he could have mentioned childhood birthday cakes or talked about blowing out the candles and making a wish. There are so many avenues of unstandard small talk he could have explored. Girls like a bit of Imagination. In fact what happened was… he ignored this comment and said
“so whats your name” – Because I wasn’t finding him fun and was slightly annoyed that he didn’t acknowledge my comment I told him my real name cause I couldn’t be bothered to make something up. I was ready to leave. He said “I’m (can’t remember his name – that’s a bad sign) and I play football for Watford, I am a centre back (or something like that) you might recognise my picture from the local paper. ( note to boys: SOME girls like football – It would be stereotypical to suggest that all girls hate football quite a few can muster up some enthusiasm for big England games once every ( three??) years but on the whole its not a selling point. I felt that by introducing this into the conversation at such an early point he was trying too hard and trying to assert himself. I felt that it wasn’t necessary. I said “Oh right I have to go now” He said “you are very beautiful Lauren (I sort of liked how he remembered my name - girls like it when you use their name) – Please can I have your number.” I told him I didn’t own a mobile phone. He said “I will give you my number then” and I said I couldn’t possibly take it. I have nowhere to put it. He should have stopped when I told him I didn’t have a phone. It made him look a bit desperate. I think if he had not been so quick to escalate the situation to number (retrieval?) within 1 minute - I would have been more susceptible… If I wasn’t seeing someone…..

i really like this. great to see from a female perspective.

i can see my own mistakes such as "what are you reading, those boring types of questions"

keep em coming

What do you do when a girl mentions she has a boyfriend?

Hey Lauren,

Loving your work here! looking forward to this weekends post...!

P.S. Stay away from the Watford footballers...they are rubbish and cant cook!

Keep 'em coming!

CHLLXX

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My right hand used to be my best friend...

Field Report #4

Last weekend I was waiting at the bar to buy a drink ( personally I hate it when you are queuing at a bar and the guy next to you catches the barpersons attention and then goes” yes please serve this girl next” – it makes me cringe, guys think they are being chivalrous and helpful, when it fact it makes you feel a bit pathetic, I can get the barpersons attention myself!) a guy barged passed me and ordered before me. He then turned to me and said “I’m sorry I’ve just pushed in haven’t I?” I said "yes you have and I am extremely angry” He laughed and said “how can I ever make this up to you” I liked that he was confident and didn’t care. I said “ Hmm, well you could buy my friend and I a drink” ( most of what I have read suggests that guys shouldn’t offer to buy girls drinks – however I actually don’t mind – this is because I’m a cheapskate- lots of girls are cheapskates) He brought my friend and I a drink and then he walked off. I liked that he didn’t use this as a way of pursuing us further. It made him seem genuine. Later on in the evening he complimented us on our terrible dancing. His friend then came over to speak to us. He was massively drunk and couldn’t string a sentence together. The first guy said “ you wouldn’t believe it but he actually runs a hugely successful car hire company” We didn’t really acknowledge this and so he continued “ although his business isn’t as successful as mine, I run a chain of large hair salons” By bringing in details about his wealth so quickly it seemed like he was showing off. In truth I was mildly impressed, but not enough to want to carry on the conversation. He then mentioned his wife worked in the salon and talked briefly about his children. This diffused the situation for me and I instantly lost attraction. A lot of material I have read suggests that if a guy says he has a girlfriend it will make him more attractive to women. Because it shows he is desirable and can communicate with women. I disagree. As soon as a guy mentions he has a current girlfriend any decent girl will instantly back off, I think this is because most girls imagine what they would feel like in that girls shoes. What girls do like though is match making, if a guy says I like this girl, what should I do.. That’s a different story. Girls LOVE that. Returning to the report, he then kept up the conversation, even after mentioning his wife. He then tried to escalate the sexual element of the conversation by complimenting my friend and I. He then said “so, do you want a lift home in my DB7 or my Porsche?” I add “how did you manage to drive 2 cars down here?” Again, on the whole girls aren’t that impressed by cars. I saw a piece in the paper that said given the choice of exactly the same man in a nice car and a rubbish car she will always pick the guy in the good car and I would say this is true, but during a pick up set I don’t think its relevant. He asked for my number and I declined.

your field reports give us rather interesting and valuable insight! Thanks for your effort.

However, it would be easier on the eye if you were to break up your posts into paragraphs

Something like what I always do. Obviously not after every line but yeah... I'm sure you get what I mean.

Btw may I ask, what different impressions do you form if a guy approaches you whilst sober/tipsy/dead drunk?

Field Report #5

I was sat outside a traditional park, in the Wimbledon Village sunshine with TonyT and Jimmy Jambone.

As we chatted, an elderly gentleman asked if I would look after his bike whilst he bought a drink. He told me I could ring his bell, and told me not to steal it as he left the set.

I liked the humour and the eye contact he made. I watched as he moved toward the pub smiling socially and confidently to all the other drinkers, having a brief chat to another set.

When he returned he sat at our table like an old friend – it didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable, as I had looked after his bike and it felt we had already made a connection.

He spoke at length to the guys not specifically ignoring me, but making me feel like I wanted to get involved. He then focussed his attention on me. He asked me whether I liked riding and told interesting and varied stories about the adventures he has had on his bike. He made each story funny and entertaining focussing on his youthfulness and sense of fun – making him seem ageless.

He turned to the guys and asked them about riding. My friend mentioned that he has had several bikes stolen and then said “hmmm….infact, I recognise that bike….” The 80 year old laughed good humouredly then said calmly, “yeah…funny…good one” in a mildly patronising, but not offensive manner, trying to assert himself as the alpha male.

He continued to talk to the guys, highlighting the fact that he was single and subtly identifying the relationship between us all. He complimented me in a roundabout way and had relevant and genuinely interesting stories related to each topic we discussed – each highlighting his intelligence and humour.

He didn’t stay so long as to feel uncomfortable – 20 minutes – and as he left, he placed a paperclip in my hand , and said “something to remember me by”.
He ended by saying hopefully Ill see you riding round here. We then turned to each other and started going through all the pick up techniques he used, even at the age of 80, we were certain he had read The Mystery Method.

heheh love these also I gotta come see Jimmy and the guys soon has been aaaages. Keep them coming

Wow, does that 80 year old guy give private coaching? I'm impressed.

Very good read. Thanks!

Psh naaaah, The 80 year old guy was a natural. I can only imagine him at his prime lol.

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I'll rise to the top yet. Just watch me.

That old guy was a pro.


I want more! Seems like these were posted a while ago though