Critique my PoF About Me: feedback appreciated!



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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:33 am 
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Website: http://www.theseattlelair.com/
I've been sending out emails and getting responses. Just started a few days ago, so I don't know how many of the emails will lead to get togethers, and in the meanwhile I would like to polish my profile...

Feel free to criticize or make suggestions.

Thanks!

About Me:
Quote:
I know we haven't met, but I think we should stop seeing each other...

Unless of course...
You think you can handle a man who's confident, successful, and doesn't apologize for who he is or what he wants?

If you answered yes, you get a goldfish sticker!

I'm the guy your friends will hopefully never hear you describe as "a nice guy". Flexible, and versatile... you can dress me up and make your girl friends jealous, or put me in flip-flops and take me on a vacation to Hawaii. I have a tendency to be c0cky, always in a playful way, and you will learn to love it!

What I'm looking for is someone who's attractive, intelligent and can make me laugh as much as I make her laugh; someone who lives a healthy, active lifestyle both physically and emotionally; a girl who feels at home in the spotlight of a classy dance floor just as much as on the back of my motorbike when crossing over the permitted speed limit; a woman who is in tune with her body, and can feel the music when dancing. If you like to Salsa or Tango, I want to hear about it!

I don't like smokers or women whose life ambition is to be Paris Hilton or appear in a girls-gone-wild video (don’t act like you’ve never heard of it!)

If you are fun, adventurous, and up to the challenge... then I'd like to meet you


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 10:52 am 
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"hopefully" seems a bit incongruent


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 1:43 pm 
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Website: http://www.theseattlelair.com/
Good catch thanks!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 2:19 pm 
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Nemtaro,

This is good man. You have conveyed your personality well, some of your interests, and what you are after in a woman very well. You have stayed congruent throughout the profile, and with a few good pics, and a good headline you have a great profile!

I would even recommend using this on places like Craigslist in the "Women Looking for Men" section and places like that. Most men just put a few sentences. When I wrote stuff like this I got a lot of responses. True I had to filter out some of the uglies but that is part of it, and why we require them to send a pic.

AWESOME WORK! 8)

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PostPosted: Wed Mar 11, 2009 3:14 pm 
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Thanks man!
Craigslist, here we come :)


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 11:57 pm 
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Craigslist? Hmmmm

Did you say craigslist? I'm almost certain that you did. Please correct me if I'm wrong,,, because I certainly may be wrong,, but isn't craiglsist for skankers? Isn't it totally lame?

Let me know. Because I am very interested.

I use POF, plenty of fish. It's free, well made and has plenty of quality ladies in my area.

Let me know bro,,, maybe you know something I don't.

Nice profile.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:17 am 
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Website: http://www.theseattlelair.com/
I used to live in the San Francisco bay area for a while, and many of the guys at the SFLair have tried CL personals out, and based on their FRs I'd say... yes, there are some good quality girls on there. It depends highly in your area, and always ask for recent pictures :)


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:20 am 
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seems try hard in my honest opinion

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:09 pm 
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Quote:
seems try hard in my honest opinion
Thanks for the comment. Any specific phrases or sections that make it try hard?

Any better example profiles you might have around to share?


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 11:03 pm 
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mostly just the parts where you are qualifying yourself as something you think they want....

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