Id like to get yalls outside advice on a friend of mine. Its hard to see things clearly when you are in the middle of something. Any and all advice will be much appreciated on the situation!!!

I let this guy move into my one bedroom apartment around four weeks ago. The dude is on steroids. He already has issues with anger management and this has only made the issue much worse.


This guy see’s a friendship as value exchange. If he gives me some advice I am OBLIGED to give him much back. I saw this the very first time I hung out with him he demanded I do things for him. To me this takes away from the gratitude of the situation. I LOVE To give to people, but I HATE to feel like people are TAKING from me or FORCING me to do something. My automatic reaction is to resist it.



This guy resorts to abuse of the mental kind, as well as threats of violence. I am called stupid on a daily basis. This is also subcommunicated to me regularly as well through voice tone and facial expressions.

I feel it is hard to communicate with this guy, because if I want to tell him something he always seems to change it around to where he is right, and ignores my point of view, and once I get frustrated with this and don’t want to talk to him, he thinks im being a pussy. He has a LOT of double standards as well, where if he does something its ok, but If I do it to him not only is it no ok but he BLOWS UP! This guy is a scary person because he is very manipulative. I have never, nor do I think I will ever meet someone who can manipulate others as well as him, it astounds me. He’s like a Hitler without power. It is hard to know whether anything he says is true. He manipulates all that are closest to him. He is a sociopathic/antisocial/narcissistic personality. He will destroy others for the smallest gain. His daily literature consists of 33 strategies of war and 48 laws of power.


I want to write this as truthfully as possible so as to resolve the problem out of my life fully, and not have it continue on with other people if there is something that I am doing wrong.


This guy and I have been friends for three years. He has always stated that our friendship is not “equal.” He has said that he feels he has given me talks and advice about women and my parents and that he doesn’t feel appreciated enough.


Today he tried to get me to do tasks in the house and when I told him I had class in ten minutes and had to leave right now he got upset, as if I’m doing something wrong by going to class?

He also left his keys at the gym, and losing his things is something he does on a very regular basis. When I went to the gym to pick them up for him, the people scanned them and his membership had been over for months, and when I came back with his keys he got mad at me and said it was all my fault, even though he was the one that is habitually forgetful.

He has this thing where he will put you down, and then when your state is down he will complain that you are bringing his state down, and that it takes away his energy, even though that wouldn’t happen in the first place if he didn’t put me down. Then he will say to get over it its in the past, but he still does it again within the next 24 hrs, so it is never really in the past.

Thoughts?

Wow... Have you read the articles on this page? It's all about YOUR frame! Not his! If he is putting you down, simply ignore it or brush him off.

Did you notice that in your entire post, he is basically controlling you? You even know this on a conscious level. So why are you letting him manipulate you? You have to establish your idea of friendship and if he doesn't agree well that is just too damn bad. Tell him that you believe that you love to be generous but you hate it when people try to take advantage of it.

If he ever calls you stupid, put him on the spot and ask him why he is calling you stupid. If you have a justified reason for doing what you're doing, again, ignore him OR explain yourself.

If you believe that you're truly right then how can he change it around to where he is right? You definitely have to give an example of this. Unless you are wrong, you have to control your frame.

Do you believe his manipulation is natural or conscious? In other words, do you think he knows that he is manipulating people? Because if he knows that he manipulating people then you should call him out and say "Why are you trying to manipulate me?" If he doesn't know he is manipulating people then it is just who is he but nonetheless you have to control your frame so that he will respect you as a friend or else just simply stop being his friend.

If you fear for your life because he's threatening you, either go to the gym and work out or leave right away. You know that he is a horrible friend so why the hell are you still friends with him? You know what? You should basically start looking for another place in the area and find a new roommate. This is ridiculous. It seems like you're living in a constant state of anxiety.

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Why is the Rhum gone?!

33 Laws of War and 48 Laws of Power are basically books on manipulation. Sure, its in a nicer form, but thats all they really are. So not only is this guy already a manipulator, but he's trying to get better at it! The only thing you can do with someone like that is ignore them. If you dont acknowledge his rants then they have no power over you. You can even take it one step further and on top of ignoring, when he makes a comment about something you should do, think of something simple that not only does he already know HE needs to do it, but you're telling him to do it. Kind of like developing a behavioral ladder of compliance. Like, if he drops his keys, be like, hey man you dropped your keys. He knows he dropped his keys, but now you're telling him to pick them up in a round about way. And what is he gonna do, leave his keys on the floor? He could, but he would look stupid and stubborn doing it just cause you mentioned that he dropped them. You get the idea.

But frankly, this guy seems like a real jackass. You'd be better of just ditching him and either kicking him out or moving out. Besides, what happens if this guy tries to act this way when you bring a girl home? Or out at the club when you're trying to open a set? Seriously, he doesnt seem like a friend at all to me...

this guy is a dick...hes not your friend...kick him out...if he refuses, have him arrested...

the thing is...alot of people take crap cuz they're afraid of the confrontation...they want to be loved...they can't stand the thought of someone hating them...

you need to be okay with the idea of him hating you...and kick him out on his ass...

its similar with women...i don't think you can ever have good game until your okay with the thought of a woman not liking you...thus demonstrating that you can do without her...

First of all i would find another place. Second i would take a talk with him. A serious talk, and start calling him stupid. You can ignore him, you can fear him, but if you will live with him, you're dead. Start being much more aggressive, stare into his eyes and say no, when he says something to do for you. I don't think he's gonna beat you, cause he fears others so much, that he pushes shit on someone who's not so strongfin. So 2 ways: 1. Another mate 2. Show you're alfa here