I'm ShadowFire

I'm 22. I have some trouble with women. I do assert myself and I'm VERY comfortable with beautiful women and I nearly always bring a smile along with me that's 100% genuine.

I'm not sure what the trouble is. Hoping somebody can help.

I'm not into the club scene. Too many question mark type of women in there as far as trust is concerned for me.

I am also cynical to women in general since alot of the women I try to make something happen with won't go past being friends with me.

That is why I am cynical to them mentally.

Wrong mindset. You're pre-judging the women before you even get in there.
If the women don't want to go past being friends with you, it's what you're doing wrong, not what the women are doing wrong.

You need to change your mindset if you're going to have any luck.

If you're new to this scene, read the following:

The Game - Neil Strauss
The Mystery Method - Mystery
Double Your Dating - David DeAngelo

But you have to drop your negativity or you will never pick up.

- Dex

Well I'm kinna wanting to learn about places that are outside of clubs so that I don't feel like I have to "pre-judge".

As far as the cynicism. I put it out of my mind when I talk to women. My objective in that situation is to just enjoy a conversation with somebody I've never met before so cynicism is out the window.

The only time it comes up is when I'm in my room alone and having to think about all the crap I have to put up with in life cuz I'm powerless to change this or that.

If that makes any sense to you then thats how it plays out.

I'm currently watching "the pick-up artist" and taking "notes" as he goes through teaching things.

Sometimes I watch it twice to make sure I got everything down.

I'm sure there's much more in his book. I like how he explains things vs. DeAngelo which momentarily sorta turned me into an asshole which I didn't like.

However thats MY experience with his teachings.

I watch that pick-up artist thing, and I laugh. Most of the stuff there, doesn't seem like they are teaching it.

For example, in the 1st episode they reveal what an "Avatar" is.
Apparently, you have the avatar is your image, you, yourself, how do you handle it?

So far, they show a comparison of similar avatars. between 2 fat guys. One of them "used" his image correctly, while the other didn't do diddly squat.

What happen to,
"How to use this Avatar?"
"Cause and Effects?"
"When, Where, Why, What?"

Also, you have to lose negativity. If you can't lose that, your chances of crashing goes so much higher than scoring, and the more you crash, the more negativity you will gain. The idea is "To not let that Get to you", if you can overcome that, you can most definitely score.

If you have that in mind, then you will have to get pass the 2nd part. Do not be stupid. This mean, learn if you fail. The more you analyze how you fail, the more likely you succeed. "What can't kill me, makes me stronger" right?!

Yeah see I read more into that. As part of who I am I look into everything with what seems to be a microscope.

I know they never said much on how to assemble a correct avatar. But I also compaired everything to the pickup artists that were there to what the other guys assembled.

How did dude look compaired to this artist or that one (I compaired them against all of them actually)? What looks similar? what looks different? What might be the psychological response from such an item worn and why? Those are the questions I asked to really dig into it.

I am going to get his mp3 though. It's 20 bucks but alot cheaper than the book brand new.

Powerless to change it? Pfft, whatever. Next time you're brooding in your room, try writing down what it is that you want to change. Then write down where you want to change it to. Then write down how you're going to do it.

Once you feel like you've got a purpose - that you're getting closer to a goal - you'll feel more positive + will lose the cynicism without even thinking about it.

Cool. I know you said you're reading into it more than what they say on the show, but please keep in mind that the explanations of everything in the show are VERY superficial. The peacocking explanation was terrible.

If you don't want to spend money on books, there is plenty of information available for free out there on the Internet. I'm pretty sure the newbie FAQ contains some good links.

- Dex