I thought I'd post a few things that I posted a while back on a quite different forum (although I can't take credit for all of them). I think these can be useful as openers or mid-game...humor goes a long way. Add your own. Best said with either a mischievous smile or a totally straight face.

Getting on an elevator with an attractive woman: "Ready to go down?"

Heating preferences for a two-story house: "Cool upstairs and hot downstairs is ideal".

Complimenting a woman's culinary skill: "You're a good cook...I could eat your stuff all night."

Helping a woman move something up or down stairs: "Do you prefer to be on top or bottom?" ("Why don't you get on top, that should be better for you.")

Woman has an empty drink: "Can I fill you up?"

On washing your hands frequently: "I'm a little compulsive about keeping three things clean."

Computer-related: "You need a large hard-disk. Some things just can't be done with a floppy."

On needing a rigid pole for some purpose: "You can't play pool with a rope."

Struggling to get something into a package or bag: "It's a tight fit...can you help me get it in?"

A lady apologizes for a scheduling conflict: "Don't worry, we'll coincide sooner or later."

Taking turns at some game with a woman: "I go behind you, right?"

Sharing some hot food or drink: "I'm glad you like having something hot inside you".

An offer to help a woman: "Let's grab some dinner first, then we'll go to your house and work on your stuff."

Explaining a 4-stroke engine cycle to a woman: "Just think suck, squeeze, bang, blow."

Asking an attractive woman for cake or pie: "Could I have a piece?"

Woman apologizes for bumping into you: "No prob, you can bump me anytime."

While negotiating something with a woman: "I stand firm in my offer."

You say "excuse me" to a woman and she says "Oh, you're fine": "So are you."

Reaching an initial agreement with a woman: "We can bang out (or hammer out) the details in private."

Telling a woman she was missed while gone: "Things have been hard without you here."

About some story: "It's long but gets juicy at the end."

On sharing a bag of potato chips: "Would you like a few Lays?"

On being sweet-talked by a woman: "If you keep talking to me like that, you'll have me eating out of your lap."

On scheduling something with a woman: "Just let me know when you have an open slot."

To a woman who says she likes to be in control: "OK, OK, you can be on top."

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

On the kid's movie Wall-E: "Wall-E was fascinated by his robo-girlfriend's secret compartment." "Yes he was." "Aren't all of us men fascinated by a lady's secret compartment?"

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Hahaha, nice.

Pretty much all of them made me laugh. I'll try some out and let you know how I go.

Cheers!

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Who are YOU?!

That's the idea...get her laughing AND thinking about sex.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

lmao if i said some of that stuff around here id be caught for sexual harassment. that and eating out of your lap? why not just kiss her fucking feet while your at it?

A dude i know..while we were in mid set, this girl was digging through her purse, pulled out some large straws(like 2 feet long, some restaurant had them i guess) and the guy next to me said something along the lines of " you like the big ones ahey?" NO response, no smirk, no nothing from her...

ID say use these only if your sure, or its the right moment..or even dumb em down more...otherwise claim your handcuffs and picture on the post office wall for sex offender if you creep out some bitch.

Good point...it depends on what country you live in, that's a big one. I'm in the US...I can get away with stuff like this in public, at a bar, at a party, at come casual social gathering, etc. But even then, I think you have to guage the woman's personality...if she's already flirty, she'd probably get a kick out of it. About the only place I can't say stuff like this is at work...that would be asking for a sexual harassment lawsuit. You could of course say stuff like this to a woman you've already made out with or already had sex with. Saying it as an opener might be risky, but it depends on how your personality comes across. I'm usually seen as funny and outgoing, so I can get away with a few sexual innuendo's without getting into trouble.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Lol These are gold nice Gruuve.

I like EM but you can't use this before attraction otherwise you'll come across as creepy...don't bring up sex while opening.Use it after you get some IOI

After a long response from her:
"Wow, that was a mouthful."

After an explanation from her (or trying to justify herself):
"You really seem to be on top of things."

I posted those in another topic but it fits in here as well too.

On swimming, hot-tubbing, etc.: "You've got your swim attire right? I was born with mine."

Or "I always have my swim attire with me".

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

dude just gtfo... this is the natural forum, where we don't give a fuck about "possible repercussions" the minute you think instead of do, you're living out of the present moment.

besides, if your frame is straight... and your head is not controlling you there is no reason why you would get slammed for sexual harassment for being yourself... IF ANYTHING the CHICK will subconsciously connect the dots to interperet the double entendres as HER being the one thinking about sex, not you insinuating it... just be real, be straightforward, and put your balls on the line when you imply shit like this

Fuckin A Legz, even if you might not be totally comfortable saying shit like that, do it anyway. Eventually you will get familiar with it and the comfort will come. Just like the motto of the SAS: "Who dares, wins."

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

A totally accidental one slipped out of my mouth last night. A woman asked me "how is your love life?" I said "It's got it's ups and downs" before I even thought about it. She laughed, and I smiled after at her after I realized what I had implied.

Gruuve

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Divorced dude having a good life.

Haha genius.

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"My toughest opponent is always myself"
Musterion's Journal

I cannot believe I did this. Hahahaha

HBconn: Yea same, we're looking for something to get into
Slie: Would you know it, I am looking for someone to get into as well. (Hahahahaa, honestly that was the first thing that popped into my head, I wish i could have seen her reaction. I am still laughing about it)

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.