Hi guys,

first of all let me introduce myself really quick.. i'm fratss, i'm living in The Netherlands and i'm doing PUA stuff for a couple of years now..

I'm a professional ice speedskater and I've been in a relationship last year from januari until juli. It's a pretty complicated story and i need your guys help..

She is a speedskater too at a lower level, and i met her when i was in a weighttraining with our national team.. i recognized her and opened.. shit happened and I ended up with her in her hotel that night.. from that moment it was total magic and things went really well.. Because i had a lot of women in the past i knew she was different, i started with sorting out PUA stuff with the right reason to find the perfect girl for me... she felt like that perfect girl, so i was really happy.
In April i decided to make a really big sportscareer move. I left the national team and went to Los Angeles for 3 months.. I had to do this because this was the most logical way to make it to the Olympics next year in Vancouver. Those 3 months were physically really hard because i had to train for 6-8 hours a day.. all this training affected my mental brightness in a way that i didn't had the energy to talk to my friends, parents and my girlfriend.. sometimes i didn't mail her for more then a week and that really pissed her off.. It wasn't that i didn't wanted to mail her, but i just didn't had the energy to be busy with relation things...
By that time i was struggling with the fact that i decided to stay in LA for another 6 months after a 3 week comeback in Holland to get some old injuries checked in a Dutch hospital.

allright, after a lot of thinking I decided to break up with her, with the thoughts that i would save her a lot of pain, but she felt so much for me that i totally broke her heart.. i thought i didn't had a choice, because i was gonna be away for another 6 months and i thought that i it would be better to stop the relation at that moment while the relationship was relatively still young..
Let me be clear.. i didn't really want this, i wanted the best thing for her and i was convinced that a break up would save her a lot of trouble for the next 6 months.. i was wrong.

we had contact once in a while, but her pain was so big that she didn't wanted any contact anymore.. that sucked, but i understood.. so we didn't had contact for a couple of months.. then she told me that she had a new boyfriend (last week i found out that that wasn't a real boyfriend, she was messing with me in some kind of way to make me jalous i guess.. well it worked) and that really hurt! in the months of non contact, i realised already that i made a big mistake breaking up with her and now that she had a boyfriend it felt even more bad, but on the other side it made clear that i had to forget her and move on with what i was doing, my goal: training. I managed to i find myself a cute girl in LA beside training, but that relation was not serious at all because the connection was no way as good as with my ex gf. I realised more and more that what we had was something special..

After a while i got injured really bad, so i went back to holland a month earlyer than planned and i couldn't even care about training anymore, because i learned how to deal with bad injuries with mental training in the national team.., all i wanted was getting my girl back.. After a month in Holland i managed talk to her a little more, because she was pushing me away alll the time, it drove me crazy... Last week i found out things about her that really suprised me.. things about how she felt about me, the way she reacted to things (positively) in our relationship and with sex.. she opened her heart, at least that's how it felt... we talked alll night long from 9pm untill 7am. i was completely excited the day after beacuse i thought that i saved the relationship, but that next afternoon...

i was talking to her about a good friend of mine and then she slipped.. she told me: "yeahh well he's not such a good friend as you think". i found out that she slept with him, she did it, because she was still pissed at me for hurting her so much, she liked him, because he is a cool good looking guy and she just needed somebody else to forget me.. she wasn't thinking clear... my good friend didn't know about any of my feelings for her, because i never actually talked to him about it.. he really thought shit was over between us.. it's still no reason for him to fuck my ex girlfriend without asking me permission, and he felt really bad.. whatever, i don't even give a fuck about that... Ofcours the moment i found out my world collapsed and i didn't know what to do.. God bless the federation for having my good friend at a world cup in Germany at the moment i found out, because it saved him an ass whoop.. The worst feeling was the fact that the distance between me and my girl got unsurmountably big.. i wanted her back, i don't care that she had sex one time with a friend.. the thing we had was special, it's wayyy above that.

after the whole news part cooled down i told her honestly about how i feel for her, that my feelings are real and i apoligized for being naive and stupid for breaking up.. she didnt know how to react and what to do with my feeelings.. she is still mad and now she's telling me that it's too late now. It's too late because when she has contact with me, all those dark time feelings are coming out again and she can't deal with that feeling anymore.. she says that those dark times for her were so bad that she is seeing me as a different person now..

I didn't know what to do with this and i was completely messed up.. i couldnt sleep, eat last days, i couldnt go to school and the whole freaking day i feel like crying.. I couldn't cry in the past, but i definately learned that ..

i texted her a couple of times but there wasn't any improvement. i was so desperate that i talked to her best friend and she just mailed me the same story as my ex does.. that too much happened between us blablabla, that she didn't understand why i let her down so much by breaking up with her.. and i should probably give up, she had sympathy for my feelings though and she wasn't mean at all.. so i just responded with a dutch version of the story above and maybe she can talk with her.. but if this doesn't work i probably should give up..

i know the best advice is to get it out of my system, go out with friends and create a new mindstate... i know.. i should, i tried already, and arranged cool stuff to do with a couple of beautiful girls, but i just can't do it.. i feel terrible and i don't feel like hanging out with any other girl.. next saturday i'll go out with a freaking HB perfect model, but i just don't feel anything for it.. im not excited at all i can miss it, i hope this feeling will heal eventually..

i need your guys help... you guys are realistic, i need your opinon on this and if anybody has a tip, please let me know. I'm posting this because i can't think clearly i guess..

THANKS!

You broke up with her after being with her for 6 months... this is hard...

I can see why she got so mad at you friend. You both had a lot of time and
energy invested into this relationship.

It is true, you should not have broken up with her even though you were
gone to do all this training.

You might want to suck it up and talk to her...

Tell her that there is no way that you can see her just throwing away 6 months
of you two being together just because she got mad because you broke up
with her... that you did not know how long you were going to be away doing
all this training.

Let her know that you did not want to break her heart, but you felt like it
would be better for her if you two took a BREAK while you were at this
training thing. Tell her that you did not mean break up for good, just take
a break since you were going to be gone for so long.

Now, this might not change her mind, but it will have her thinking about
all this shit in the back of her mind.

You also said that you two still talk to each other in texts and shit too, right?

At least she has not totally stopped all communication with you... this is a
good sign. She might just want you to feel the pain that she felt when you
broke up with her. You need to suck up your pride and talk to her in person
and let her know that you fucked up... she is the one for you... if it comes
down to it... ask her to marry you...

NOTE: I know those of you out there reading this are probably saying,
"Oh this is total AFC bullshit..."

Let me clear it up for you... this guy is trying to save a relationship that
IS NOT totally dead yet. So for those of you who might just tell him to
move on and forget about her... let's just wait and see how things play out
in the next few days or so...

If things do not improve, then I will remove this "NOTE".. Thanks cats...

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wow thanks LEPRECHAUN for your reaction.

You got me thinking... I told her about how i feel for her after a long time of not talking about it. Unfortunately i had to do this on the phone and in a internet chatconversation... I wanted to tell her in person, but she just didn't let me.. everytime i asked her to get together somewhere to talk, she responded negative in a unsecure way: "like deep inside i want it to be like it was, but just to much shit happened and i just don't think it's a good idea to meet up..." even though she pushed me away with those words, it gave me some kind of hope, because she's absolutely not sure.. she's just sticking to her own rule of getting over me.. She knows SO well that IF we meet up to talk about it, things will be okay, she can't resist me, i'm a cool guy haha. She made this rule to protect herself, but she doesn't have to protect herself... i'm the best think that happened to her, but also the worst thing... i won't break her heart ever again.. So i think the biggest issue is meeting her.. how do I arrange a meeting with her?, she's snapped once by visiting me at a competition, but i was racing so i couldn't really talk to her, very clever.

now a week later i asked her if all this trouble i'm going through is worth it.. if it is a hopeless mission.... but she doesn't respond for 2 days already.. so i guess she doesn't know.. she's dealing with my feelings and her own right now and if i don't do something, i'm sure she will make the same decision again to push me away and i can start alll over... But i don't wanna start over anymore, it's just too hard, i don't wanna make her insecure and feel bad again by getting back into her life, but i need to, to fix this.. it hope it's worth it. but in some kind of way i think she's enjoying that i'm desperate for contact after all the things she's been through because of me.. on the other hand she feels sad, because she knows how it really feels and you can't wish that feeling to somebody.. Now she has the power to keep me feeling bad, of letting me feel what she has been through.

I only need that one conversation in person and everything will be alright, but using the reason that i wanna talk about how things went, i don't think that's gonna work anymore because she knows how i feel now.

About your note: yes, i know some guys are thinking immediately about AFC shit, but this is not right... let me try to explain to save you the trouble.. i dated hundreds of women and this girl just jumps out.. She is the girl that gives me that feeling, a feeling that should be the main goal for every pick up artist.. I got into this pua world with the reason to find the perfect girl for me.. meeting so many different girls that i could pick the right one and be with her.... she was that perfect girl for me, but now i screwed up!! there is no cure for this 'heartbreak', i'm affraid that this will take a long time to get over but i don't care.. I realize that there are many other girls that can be perfect for me, but right now i don't wanna think about that until i'm sure this is all over.

thank you thank you for whatever you are posting on this, i'll try to be a big contribution for this forum in the future.

Yeah, it sounds like if you two do meet up in person again and start talking
things out, they WILL get worked out. Seeing how you can only talk to her
on the phone, texts, or internet chat, at least the communication lines are
still open with you two. This is a positive sign. All hope is not lost.
What you should do is just find out where she is going to be or where she
is going to eat at, and just show up there, and act surprised that she is
also there in the same place as you are. If she gets nervous and tends to
shy away from you, then you know that she is not over you.

If you catch her looking over at you (sit behind her so you can see when
she turns around to look at you) just smile at her and look back at your
food or book or whatever you have that you can turn your attention to.

When the waitress comes over, send a drink to her (you buy it) along with
a little note on a napkin saying, "You know you love me and I love you, I
screwed up bad babe. I want to talk this over. You have hurt me like I did
not mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

Now I know this might sound AFCish, but if you are looking to salvage this
relationship (if she is THE ONE) then like I said before, you need to suck
up your pride and revert to being the romantic once again. Do what you
did that attracted her to you in the first place.
Yep, that is true... she is making you feel that pain that you placed on her
which you did not know it would affect her this hard. No one can predict
how hard a girl will take a break up.

You just need to sympathize with her.
If you don't wanna use the break up reason to talk to her, you could use
another reason to talk to her. Tell her that you got a call from your mom
or something, and that there is something going on back home and you
want to talk to someone about it because it is bringing you down.

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ok, this is fucked up and funny...

she is playing with me, i'm sure now....

it's completely midnight like 1.40 am.. she talks to me on SPAM chat and sends me those lovesongs..

she ignored me for a couple of days now and i switched the button. yesterday i was completely sure i was gonna move on, that mindset made me feel a little better, i even talked to girls again.. i don't know, she is messing with my head, but i'm not gonna give in anymore.. i made my point, i miss her, i love her and i'm sorry for what i did.. meeting her is impossible.. i'm not gonna beg her for getting back at me. I realize it's not attractive to do that and i'm gonna be more my old me again, the me that she liked: confident and alpha..

I had an experience very much like what you are going through. Wut am I saying. I'm still in that experience haha. She has a boyfriend now but from what I hear they dont seem all that into eachother. She's just the type of girl who always needs a boyfriend. I didn't express any anger which is so far driving her nuts. She wants me to get angry because it'll stroke her ego. She also naturally assumed that I was still into her. I was so pissed by this that I told her I only wanted to be her friend. This girl is crazy and completely self-centered but I still want her. Anyways Im playing the alpha/confident thing and I'm gonna see where it goes. I often have to fight the urge to not appologize and tell her how much I miss her. You're right. this is unattractive.

If she wasn't playing mind games with you, I'd say appologize and beg for her back if she's really that worth it. But because she is playing games, she doesnt deserve to get u back until u stop. of course thats just my opinion because I HATE it when they play these mindfuck games!

allright,

i just cut off contact with her for a couple of days, went out to party.. got back to the old me and dominated the fucking club and now i have a bunch of beautiful women texting me all day.. i feel much better and she feels that too.. i told her i went out three days in a row and she responded a little suprised (mostly because i'm a proffesional athlete).. now she is texting me that she misses the old times and a bunch of other horny text messages and it looks like i'm in control again... I can't believe i was so ignorant, love made me totally short minded, it felt good to feel bad about the break up, but i'm glad i pushed through and went out again.. now i'm healed

a little funny thing i'm feeling right now: A week ago, everytime i thought about her and the beautiful things we had, i felt really reallly sad... now i'm thinking back to those thing in another mindstate and I enjoy thinking about her again.. those good memories make me smile again instead of feeling sad.. I think that's another great thing about love.. i only have to think about her now and i'm happy and full of energy..

thanks for all the advice guys!

i want her back ofcours, but i'm gonna stay cool until she is totally mine again..
And when she is totally mine, i'll still be working on every girl on the street! (ofcours i'll stay loyal).. I love this shit, i feel that i'm becoming a skilled pua.. my only problem is being in the right vibe all the time. I mean 2 of the 3 days i feel great i'm completely relaxed and in a right vibe.. but then i always have an off-night.. that it just doesn't feel right.. i know this is not a big problem and when i have an off-day, i accept it and still approach, but i wanna push through more!

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The more symmetrical you are, the more orgasms you will give her.

Man I'm seriously a little jelous right now. You seem to have complete emotional control and your mind set is so solid. How did u reach this enlightenment? Koodos

fratss

Congratulations on stepping back into your old self. I am glad that we all here
on the <a href="">PUA Forum</a> could help you out.

As for the "off night"... don't put to much thought into it. Everyone has a time
when they feel like shit because of something going on in their life that makes
them not have the right "mindset" for going out and approaching girls... it's
not a big thing to worry about.

If you feel like this, just stay home and watch a movie or write down all your
successful pick-ups in a journal and just go over them and see what worked
on that type of girl, and what did not work on that girl...

Doing this (journal writing) can pick you back up if you do ever fall into that
"rut" you are talking about. You will be able to look in your journals and
read about how you accomplished something when you went out "that night"
and then you will start getting back into the right "mindset" if you do want
to go out that night.

_________________
| NLP eBooks etc | SEDUCTION eBooks etc |
| Sexual Decoder System (Yes, that one) **PDFs / Videos** |
I have reviewed A LOT of PUA books, videos, etc. I only upload the ones that have the best information.