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1) i have had bad experience in a england summer camp 2 years ago where im socially casted out. and at that time i was one of those "mainstream" people if im back in Hong Kong so i felt shocked.. caz i suck at english at that time and im afraid to talk to anyone.
2) i assume they will discriminate me as chinese
3) i assume they are the cooler people
4) i felt short in front of western guy (im 5'4 btw), even if i had AMOGed many asian tall guy back in Hong Kong.
5) i thought my english wasn't good enough to communicate with them with C&F.. and i have my speaking tone quite mono..
Let's give some other suggestions to these beliefs:
1)This may have more to do with the people at the summer camp, than you seem to realize. I'm guessing the age would have to be around 16, or something like it. (please correct me here, and give me the right age, if I'm off) Which makes this people with lower education, and more rigid Pack-rules.
Which means; anyone who stands out, is a freak. (this changes at Uni and higher education, as well as in most educated grown people. The roles are reversed.)
At that age, people adhere much more to social boundaries, as set by the Alpha male and Females of the school they come from, which mean; most likely, people will be wearing the same kind of clothes as the "coolest" kid, doing the same lingo.. Going with the flow, to not draw unwanted attention to themselves.
You standing out as Chinese, with different english than them, perhaps not even aware of their "inside" slang, etc. You will stand out, both through language, behavior and clothing.
At this level, one can go two ways, either, one proves to be a far better Alpha, and people start taking after your style, or you try to fit in and get pecked into the lowest value in that particular pecking-order.
(meaning anyone, but the absolute losers, will have a "right" to disapprove of you, because the "Alpha" disapprove of you.)
Now, at Uni, this is not so prominent, and if you don't show signs of submission due to your, currently, poorer skills in English, and instead show that you are confident, (you may still be humble if this is you, but please separate Humility and Insecurity., one can be good, the other is bad.) you'll soon find that people much more readily accept who you are, and may even be willing to follow your lead, providing you lead with a strong enough Frame.
I think I end question 1 there
now:
2) If you assume they will discriminate you, they will, most likely, pick up on these vibes.
Besides, if you continue with this idea;
Remember the story about the Farmer (an old Chinese tale)
Who one day discovered his money purse to be stolen, and he thought about who might have taken it, and deduced it must have been the neighbor boy, who visited earlier.
So every time the Farmer sees the boy, he sees more and more sketchy behavior from the boy. The boy doesn't look him in the eyes, and clearly feels uncomfortable under the Farmer's steady gaze.
Eventually the Farmer considers that, because of how the boy acts when he's around, he has proof the boy must be the thief.
And just as he is on his way to leave the house and confront the boy's Father to make an official accusation, his wife comes out from the bedroom saying "Look what I found behind the bed" and showed him the purse that had been "stolen".
Believing people discriminate you, you will find the signals to back up your theory.
And, most likely, the harder you look, the more "evidence" you will find.
Even if there is no truth to the matter, you will be able to convince yourself.
(in Psychology terms "what the Thinker thinks, the Prover proves")
I hope that gives you new perspective on 2.
3) again, this goes back to no.2.
If you believe them to be cooler, you'll find evidence to back up your belief.
However, this works both ways.
If you chose to believe that you are cool, you'll find the evidence to back it up.
I'm seriously impressed with Chinese people, and I mean that.
Chinese in itself has a lot of cool concepts, think about it; You know stuff most of the people there won't. Like the Chinese language, which is seriously complicated to those of us who haven't learned it through years of practice, like you have.
You practically come from a different reality, and you should be able to allow that to be a DHV,
People will be interested in you on the basis alone that you're "foreign".
Seriously; use this to your advantage.
This is one of those things that can be used to your advantage, or disadvantage, and it's all decided within you.
It's you who have to make the choice whether this is something that you'll allow to help you, or if you would rather want it to be an obstacle.
It's all inside your head, and people will be picking up the signals you send out.
So making sure you send out the signals that "being Chinese is the Best" (and if you want something to back this up, Taoism has some sexual techniques that doesn't exist in the "Western" world, which Australia is a part of. Learn this stuff, and use that to your advantage, you know.)
4)
Being short makes for better hugs, ask the other guys.
Again, this is only a problem if you make it one.
Al Pacino is only about one finger-length taller than you.
There's no sign saying "You have to be this tall to get laid".
It's all imagination,
Height has nothing to do with how much attraction you can build.
Inner Game, man,
Find the advantages you have over other guys on all your differences.
Do this in a positive mind-frame
5) you can take courses, probably over net, that teach you to work with tonality and voice projection.
So this is something you can work out, as quickly as you want.
The only real disadvantage is voice.
But this stuff you get better with through practice, and even quicker if you have some guidance.
Your English shouldn't be a problem, most people will understand this, and you'll get tons better quickly since you are now surrounded by english-speaking people.
Just socialize at the level you are at right now, and you'll quickly improve.
Trust me
Ok, this was long, but I think we may have cleared out some of the beliefs you used to have.
Practice reframing things, though.
If something seems negative, you haven't found the positive in it yet.
Regardless of how bad it may seem, there's always some positive effect from it.
You'll find, probably, lots of stuff on here that teaches about Reframing beliefs.
Cheers
CHAT
